(no subject)
i'm shaking....uncontrollably.....i've been crying again....once more i weep for my foolishness....every breathe i take is ragged, i'm trying not to yell at myself...trying not to cut myself down for the mistakes i've made....i listen to each breathe, breathing one word over and over again....God...God...God...that one word is my prayer, the one thing keeping me sane...i feel a great sorrow for the mistakes i've made....i am sorry to those i hurt, the one i misunderstood...once again i have a pitiful story to tell...the music flows through my mind, slowly the heavyness receeds and i find peace...i've long ago accepted what i did wrong...tried to fix it...but i can't....so now i try to find peace solely in my God( the way it should be) and in letting go.....i still have much to learn, and this was just one more lesson....i have many yet to learn...so i try and let God help me up, and prepare me for another day. it won't be easy, but maybe i'll make it one day.