You Had To Be There: Your Guide to Vegas Inside Jokes (2007 Edition)
Hi boys and girls!
In the upcoming weeks, those of you fortunate enough to hang with the recently-returned Vegas crew will hear us laugh at such seemingly innocuous (ie, stupid) phrases as "300 dollars" and "Get that tiger off me!" Want to know why? I knew you would.
The jokes:
- 300 dollars: One answer to the first Why Did The Chicken question: "What's the difference between a straight and a flush?" Unsuccessful answer to many subsequent questions. Later, using 300 pills or 300 Hurricanes, adapted to explanations for Heather's or Gwen's behavior. Earlier, using Spartans, made into a beefcake movie.
- "Call! No, check!": Rico learns to play limit hold 'em the "call out a random word" way.
- "Beer" as a verb: American Office reference. Usage: "Can you beer me that pen/book/water?"
- Minivan: The ONLY way to get to Vegas. Also the convergence of "mini" and "van," surprisingly to some.
- Tom Parker burrito: Must be seen to be believed.
- A.M.F.: Adios Motherfucker. Take a Long Island Iced Tea, supersize, add blue curacao and pure evil. Served to those with CFM hair. Rico's bane.
- CFM hair: Worked wonders on Heather - almost.
- "B: Nuclear explosion": Suffixed to someone else's prediction of or desire for an unlikely event. References the inaugural question of the hit game More Likely/Less Likely, invented 29 July 2007 at the diner of the Golden Gate Casino on Fremont St. Asked "Which is more likely: A) Andrey will get laid tonight, or B) Las Vegas will be destroyed in a nuclear explosion?", our panel of impartial judges unanimously and simultaneously voted (B). (A) never happened: is Vegas still there? Anyone check? Or call?
- "Hi stinky!": Erin entered the bathroom just as the maid yelled "Housekeeping!" from outside, and the residents of 8040 heard this. "Bye stinky!" when you flush. Other interpretations: "How's pee pee?"
- Entrance of the Gladiators theme: Sting music. Use it during or after any joke for extra funny.
- Strip echolocation: Mass text to friends on the strip with some variation on "Where are you?"
- "Wherr are youa,": Andrey's variation.
- Boardshort ... tss: A plural noun. Really.
- Unicorns: Not. Really.
- Exploding vaginas: Both words currently on the Word-At-A-Time Story banned list.
- Jan: German spy taking pictures of our landscapes to sell to the Chinese. (The Chinese are going to attempt to reverse-engineer our hills, but upside down due to incompetence.) The new Will.
- Fornicating in Barstow: 2006 reference revisited. I mean, what else is there to do there?
- The Amazing Shrinking Supreme Court Building: An optical illusion from the north wing of the Mirage building. You see, Chris was sitting on his bed and oh fuck it. Irina, you explain this one.
And the ladies:
- Heather: ADD queen in an Alice in Wonderland dress. What's the difference between Heather and 300 pills? Andrey can keep 300 pills in his room.
- Gwen: Twentysomething blonde from Indiana. Indiscriminate. Put her [censored] down [censored]'s [censored]. Ground on [censored]'s [censored] for [censored] minutes.
- Megan: Mirage pool waitress from Frankfort, IL. Brought us drinks and we repaid her with boorish advances. Fun for all involved.
- Tiffany: Twice-convicted 22-year-old felon. At the Mirage pool with her mom. Rico's betrothed.
There you go, boys and girls. Play along! Add your own! And beer me that beer, would you?
E
In the upcoming weeks, those of you fortunate enough to hang with the recently-returned Vegas crew will hear us laugh at such seemingly innocuous (ie, stupid) phrases as "300 dollars" and "Get that tiger off me!" Want to know why? I knew you would.
The jokes:
- 300 dollars: One answer to the first Why Did The Chicken question: "What's the difference between a straight and a flush?" Unsuccessful answer to many subsequent questions. Later, using 300 pills or 300 Hurricanes, adapted to explanations for Heather's or Gwen's behavior. Earlier, using Spartans, made into a beefcake movie.
- "Call! No, check!": Rico learns to play limit hold 'em the "call out a random word" way.
- "Beer" as a verb: American Office reference. Usage: "Can you beer me that pen/book/water?"
- Minivan: The ONLY way to get to Vegas. Also the convergence of "mini" and "van," surprisingly to some.
- Tom Parker burrito: Must be seen to be believed.
- A.M.F.: Adios Motherfucker. Take a Long Island Iced Tea, supersize, add blue curacao and pure evil. Served to those with CFM hair. Rico's bane.
- CFM hair: Worked wonders on Heather - almost.
- "B: Nuclear explosion": Suffixed to someone else's prediction of or desire for an unlikely event. References the inaugural question of the hit game More Likely/Less Likely, invented 29 July 2007 at the diner of the Golden Gate Casino on Fremont St. Asked "Which is more likely: A) Andrey will get laid tonight, or B) Las Vegas will be destroyed in a nuclear explosion?", our panel of impartial judges unanimously and simultaneously voted (B). (A) never happened: is Vegas still there? Anyone check? Or call?
- "Hi stinky!": Erin entered the bathroom just as the maid yelled "Housekeeping!" from outside, and the residents of 8040 heard this. "Bye stinky!" when you flush. Other interpretations: "How's pee pee?"
- Entrance of the Gladiators theme: Sting music. Use it during or after any joke for extra funny.
- Strip echolocation: Mass text to friends on the strip with some variation on "Where are you?"
- "Wherr are youa,": Andrey's variation.
- Boardshort ... tss: A plural noun. Really.
- Unicorns: Not. Really.
- Exploding vaginas: Both words currently on the Word-At-A-Time Story banned list.
- Jan: German spy taking pictures of our landscapes to sell to the Chinese. (The Chinese are going to attempt to reverse-engineer our hills, but upside down due to incompetence.) The new Will.
- Fornicating in Barstow: 2006 reference revisited. I mean, what else is there to do there?
- The Amazing Shrinking Supreme Court Building: An optical illusion from the north wing of the Mirage building. You see, Chris was sitting on his bed and oh fuck it. Irina, you explain this one.
And the ladies:
- Heather: ADD queen in an Alice in Wonderland dress. What's the difference between Heather and 300 pills? Andrey can keep 300 pills in his room.
- Gwen: Twentysomething blonde from Indiana. Indiscriminate. Put her [censored] down [censored]'s [censored]. Ground on [censored]'s [censored] for [censored] minutes.
- Megan: Mirage pool waitress from Frankfort, IL. Brought us drinks and we repaid her with boorish advances. Fun for all involved.
- Tiffany: Twice-convicted 22-year-old felon. At the Mirage pool with her mom. Rico's betrothed.
There you go, boys and girls. Play along! Add your own! And beer me that beer, would you?
E