A Meme-y Meme
I stole from moofoot. One meme -
1. Open your music library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc.).
2. Put it on shuffle.
3. Press "play."
4. For the first question, type the song that’s playing.
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button TWICE.
6. Don’t lie and try to pretend you’re cool... just type it in, man!...Possibly I should have ( Read more... )
1. Open your music library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc.).
2. Put it on shuffle.
3. Press "play."
4. For the first question, type the song that’s playing.
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button TWICE.
6. Don’t lie and try to pretend you’re cool... just type it in, man!...Possibly I should have ( Read more... )
It's not poisoned.
It's actually really nice tea, Eddie thinks as he sips at it and winces at the lack of sugar.
So here he is. Down on his luck, and come to beg for a job from one of his oldest friends. Sort-of oldest friends. Well, they'd crossed paths a few times in the old days. When they were all young, and Mister Humph had been in charge.
Eddie takes another sip of his tea. It's bitter, but tastes right for the moment.
He's bored of waiting. He's usually bored within ten seconds of being told he has to wait, so sitting in this luxuriously decorated 'waiting room' is about the last thing he wants to be doing.
He starts to fidget, pulling at imaginary loose threads in his clothes and fluffing his hair.
He's never been able to wait, not even when he was a kid. Not even when he was a young man, new to the circuit, before he'd met Mister Humph. Nothing much has changed.
He smooths his skirt, and idly wonders about checking his makeup in the powder compact he always carries. He checks his watch. He's only been sitting still for five minutes.
God he's bored.
Paul floats in from a side-door. He has the ability to appear from nowhere, but Eddie doesn't flinch. He's known Paul his entire life. Paul says nothing; puts down the un-asked for sugar bowl. He catches Eddie's eye and winks, a tiny smirk threatening to cross his carefully sculpted mask of complete indifference.
Eddie smiles carefully and Paul drifts off silently back to whatever job he's supposed to be doing that isn't reassuring Eddie.
He stirs a teaspoon of the sugar into the teacup, delicate fine-china making gorgeous clinking noises as the spoon rebounds on it's innards. This time when he sips the tea it is exactly right.
He waits, fidgeting at intervals. His brain is thinking on tangents again, running away with itself before he can regulate the tide of thoughts. At least this time he isn't speaking them aloud.
Eventually a tall, slim woman with a mass of dark, curly hair enters. Josie.
Eddie knows her from back in the day too. She can be hilarious. Brilliant fun. But she is also the top hitman- He stops. Rethinks... Hitwoman in the country. Her suit is beautifully tailored, and he's willing to bet the shoes off his feet; a ridiculously expensive, but utterly gorgeous pair of spike-heeled Jimmy Choo boots; that she has no less than ten difference weapons concealed somewhere in that beautiful tailoring.
He stands as she enters; the tea long finished and the cup resting neatly on its saucer, and waits for her to walk to him. She smiles.
"Follow me."
He nods and does as he's told. Both sets of heels tap out an odd staccato rhythm across the solid stone floor of the hall.
She opens the door for him. And sitting behind it, immaculately dressed, is the Queen of the Underworld.
She smiles.
She nods.
He speaks.
"Hello Sandi... I was wondering if you could give me a job?"...
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I was thinking at first about the other Queen of Comedy, our glorious leader, Mr Fry, but Sandi just kinda fitted better. The fact that I have written little things about each of the seven groups is ENTIRELY your fault. I will be writing these sporadically. At the moment I'm utterly desperate to write Frankie's one. The man has issues. I have lots for him...
The thing I wrote about Sandi beforehand, you ask?
"Sandi Toksvig is Queen of the Improv Oldschool. It's a tough gig, but she's bloody good at it. With contacts everywhere Sandi is the sort of woman you wouldn't cross twice. Mostly because the first time you try, her hitwoman Josie shoots off your kneecaps. You tend to be less mobile and much more respectful like that."
Also, I imagine in the old days Sandi used to be a fighter. Because she's small, and people underestimate you if you're small, and because under no circumstances would she fight fair.
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Frankie ... Boyle?
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Yes, Frankie Boyle. It was your icon that did it.
He is a small, determined force of nature. Unencumbered by rules except that he doesn't drink anymore and he doesn't fight in the cages anymore. He's walked out of too many of those fights when he feels like he really shouldn't have. Nowadays he swears every other word, glares at people, and generally gets on with whatever job it is that needs doing. He always does what needs to be done. And there is nothing and no one that can make him change his mind if it is made up. He is as stubborn as a brick wall.
And dammit I can't stop writing stuff like that for him. He is a damaged puppy. A damaged puppy that might bite your face off if you give it the wrong kind of sympathy.
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This is without even mentioning what The Boosh and the Irisher contingent get up to, or Bill Bailey's information cache...
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Bill uses them.
Ahem - "Bill looks like a druggie, and so does Mitch, but they're both a lot smarter than they appear to be. Bill has lots of friends in High places, and his roots are deep. He's the man you go to if you want to know anything. He's the man with the plan. And, yes, he's also the man with the drugs. Sometimes stereotypes aren't completely bollocks."
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(The comment has been removed)
And Obviously Jon would be Clean-Up man. He'd smack the others and give them little jobs to do, and while they were busy he'd run around like the obsessive-compulsive monkey that he is and get everything fixed. even the stuff that no one knew was broken. ...Did I mention he was very good?
...Help me! I appear to be drowning! The Thursdayverse is Catching!
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(pointed here by apiphile)
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