thirty letters
I'm too lazy to post pics, apparently. MAYBE ONE DAY SOON, it's just ... ugh, posting pics and resizing them ... SO LAZY.
For now I think I'm going to start a meme I saw on dearxjessy's journal, the Thirty Letters Meme.
Letter 1 - Your Best Friend
Dear Best Friend,
The position of "best friend" is being chucked from my life. I will never again make someone so important to me, or put such emphasis on what has turned out to be only casual friendships over the course of my life. No one is going to make me feel small and insignificant again, because I am not going to give them the chance. I have good friends, friends I love dearly, but I am not going to slap a label on them because I feel like I have to, or because I feel like we've reached a level beyond standard friendship.
My first few best friendships disintegrated because we were young and different, and I was not popular, but my friends had ambitions to be in the popular crowd.
The next ended in a mess and was half my fault (maybe a little more) and half hers. She got a trouble-making boyfriend, whom I did not approve of, and spent the majority of her time with him, even going so far as to invite him over when the two of us were hanging out. It was so hurtful to know that she'd rather spend time with someone who'd be in her life for a few short years at the most when we'd already had six years under out belts, and, in my time of young stupidity and because we never talked about feelings, I blogged about how angry and upset I was, taking it out on her boyfriend instead of who I was really mad at: her. She saw, and we were broken, only to find some semblance of closure two years ago.
The next lasted only a year or so; she was crazy and eccentric and decided that I was against her pursuing our other mutual best friend because I had feelings for him. This was not the case - I just knew the two of them were a disaster waiting to happen and that her feelings (which got pretty creepy and stalkerish, if I may say so) were not returned. I also seemed to have earned her dislike by not calling her on her birthday, when I had laryngitis and couldn't speak. My e-card and instant message birthday wishes weren't enough to satisfy her.
Now the current seems to be at a close, and yet again I've invested years into an emotional bond that isn't reciprocated. The ball was in your court. I told you I was upset, and I told you why, and you apologized, but in a way that was shockingly impersonal. This was in your hands. But another two weeks have passed and there has been no contact and no effort from you. You recognized that what's going on has hurt me, and you said you wanted it to change, but your actions prove otherwise. I only wish you could have just said you weren't going to bother. I have so many things I'd like to say, but I doubt you'll even read this, so it would be an utter waste of my time.
So, best friend, you are a position that will never again be filled. I won't be hurt again by a term that has always felt so foreign on my tongue.
For now I think I'm going to start a meme I saw on dearxjessy's journal, the Thirty Letters Meme.
Letter 1 - Your Best Friend
Dear Best Friend,
The position of "best friend" is being chucked from my life. I will never again make someone so important to me, or put such emphasis on what has turned out to be only casual friendships over the course of my life. No one is going to make me feel small and insignificant again, because I am not going to give them the chance. I have good friends, friends I love dearly, but I am not going to slap a label on them because I feel like I have to, or because I feel like we've reached a level beyond standard friendship.
My first few best friendships disintegrated because we were young and different, and I was not popular, but my friends had ambitions to be in the popular crowd.
The next ended in a mess and was half my fault (maybe a little more) and half hers. She got a trouble-making boyfriend, whom I did not approve of, and spent the majority of her time with him, even going so far as to invite him over when the two of us were hanging out. It was so hurtful to know that she'd rather spend time with someone who'd be in her life for a few short years at the most when we'd already had six years under out belts, and, in my time of young stupidity and because we never talked about feelings, I blogged about how angry and upset I was, taking it out on her boyfriend instead of who I was really mad at: her. She saw, and we were broken, only to find some semblance of closure two years ago.
The next lasted only a year or so; she was crazy and eccentric and decided that I was against her pursuing our other mutual best friend because I had feelings for him. This was not the case - I just knew the two of them were a disaster waiting to happen and that her feelings (which got pretty creepy and stalkerish, if I may say so) were not returned. I also seemed to have earned her dislike by not calling her on her birthday, when I had laryngitis and couldn't speak. My e-card and instant message birthday wishes weren't enough to satisfy her.
Now the current seems to be at a close, and yet again I've invested years into an emotional bond that isn't reciprocated. The ball was in your court. I told you I was upset, and I told you why, and you apologized, but in a way that was shockingly impersonal. This was in your hands. But another two weeks have passed and there has been no contact and no effort from you. You recognized that what's going on has hurt me, and you said you wanted it to change, but your actions prove otherwise. I only wish you could have just said you weren't going to bother. I have so many things I'd like to say, but I doubt you'll even read this, so it would be an utter waste of my time.
So, best friend, you are a position that will never again be filled. I won't be hurt again by a term that has always felt so foreign on my tongue.