Fun Of Online Customer Services
This afternoon, I had an online chat with a customer service representative from a well-known retail company. Often chats like this can be dull, so I was determined to make it a little more interesting. Here’s the script of the chat:
You are now chatting with William from Customer Services.
William: Is there anything else I can help you with?
William: Hello! Welcome to Customer Services.
William: Sorry for the first statement.
Me: No worries, these things happen.
William: Good Afternoon.
Me: Good Afternoon.
William: May I please have your email address registered with your account while I review your request?
Me: Yes, it’s …@…. (but only on weekends)
William: Thank you.
William: I understand that you have ordered the books and did not receive them. Am I right?
Me: Thats correct, I’ve received the confirmation, but haven't got the books…
William: I am sorry to hear that.
Me: Thank you, that means a lot.
William: Welcome, Let me see how best I can help you with this issue. May I place you on hold for 2-3 minutes while I check for the information.
Me: Sure, please go ahead. Am I allowed to hum whilst I wait?
Me: “humming a tune…”
William: Thank you for waiting. One moment please.
Me: You’re welcome. I hope you don’t mind, but whilst I have been waiting I’ve been vacuuming and dusting (my room needs a damn good clean, I tell you! Are any of your friends cleaners, by any chance?)
William: Thank you for the patience.
Me: That’s what my Doctor said.
William: Sorry for the wait. Please do stay online.
Me: I’m quite happy to do that, so long as I don’t have an urgent need to go to toilet, bake a cake or polish my shoe…
William: Not to worry, I will be sending you copy of delivery information.
Me: Yes, please do. Thank you. How long is this likely to take? Is it going to be instant or should I get a sleeping bag?
William: I have sent you the copy. Please confirm?
Me: Ok. I’m waiting for the email - do you know how long it might take? (I’m just wondering if I have time to hang the washing out?)
William: Let me check information for you.
Me: Thank you.
William: Here’s the link: please click on the link and confirm.
Me: Perfect - that’s worked. O.K. the thing I usually put the work address for deliveries, but in this instant I changes that to my home address, due the apartment and Post-Code being new. therefore Google maps and other 'navigation products' having trouble finding my address.
William: O.K. please can you provide additional delivery info.
Me: Which I did...
William: Can you also please provide your contact number.
Me: Yep, it's 07....
William: Thank you, I have re-arranged to delivered between the hours of 7am to 7pm. With the information that you have provided.
Me: Thank you, very much
William: Is there anything else I can help you with?
Me: No, that’s all. Thanks William. If only everyone in the world was as helpful and efficient as you. May you be blessed with happiness and good fortune.
William: You may receive an email survey in reference to this interaction. Your feedback is very much appreciated.
Me: Sure. I’ll suggest they give you a big, gold star and promote you to management. I think I’ve asked this before, but are any of your friends cleaners?
William: It’s my pleasure serving you.
William: Since we have not heard from you for some time, we will now end this chat. Please click to chat with us again if we can be of further assistance.
William: Sorry for the last statement.
William: Thank you for contacting us. We are available 7 days a week, 24 hours a day. Goodbye!
Me: The pleasure has been all mine.
Me: What have you done with my cat!?
Me: Sorry for the last statement (clicked the wrong button!).