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Long time lurker, first time poster. This is literally my first lj post in about two years, so forgive me if I'm rusty. My show has grabbed me again, and I felt compelled to write this.
Title: What We Take For Granted (1/2)
Author: plucky15
Rating: PG
Pairings: Chloe/Clark . . . in the long run
Spoilers: Everything up until Fierce
Disclaimer: Don't own anything. If I did, it would be a completely different show
Summary: Chloe's always been there for Clark. What happens when she's not? Is all he ever wanted really enough?
The basement of the Daily Planet was deserted, as it always was this time of night. The sole source of light came from Chloe’s computer as she typed away at some article.
Clark wondered again how it was possible she was still down here in the basement. She put her heart and soul into the paper and the only reward she got was a front row seat to her cousin’s propulsion from tabloid reporter to the new editor‘s darling.
Clark could tell Lois’ fast track to the top was hurting Chloe, even though the blonde tried to be happy for her cousin. He guessed it wasn’t easy watching someone else swoop in and steal your dream right from under you.
Chloe had a perfect view of the entrance from her desk, but had yet to acknowledge Clark’s presence, which he found rather strange. Chloe normally welcomed his late night visits with a warm smile and an invitation to sit and keep her company.
Not tonight, apparently.
Clark knocked on the door frame, forcing Chloe to acknowledge him.
“If you know what’s good for you, Clark Kent,” she warned, as she continued to type away at her computer, “you’ll turn around and march right back through those doors.”
What?
“Chloe?” Clark asked tentatively. “Are you alright?”
Inside, he panicked. Something was wrong. They hadn’t spoken of it since last year, but Clark’s promise to be her own ‘personal bomb squad’ was always at the back of his mind. It haunted him, the thought that one day he’d have to save his best friend from herself.
Please don’t let today be the day, he thought.
She finally looked up at him, and what he saw in her eyes wasn’t something he was used to seeing from Chloe.
Anger.
“Yeah, I’m great, Clark,” she said, an edge of malice to the innocent words. “Kent family strikes again, once more proving that the feelings of one Chloe Sullivan are completely insignificant.”
Clark was taken aback by Chloe’s offensive attitude.
“What are you talking about, Chloe?”
“Don’t play dumb with me,” Chloe said. “You must have seen the way your cousin’s been eyeing my boyfriend. Well,” she looked away from him once again and resumed typing, “ex-boyfriend.”
“Wait, What?” Clark asked surprised, and approached the edge of Chloe‘s desk.
“That’s right. Me and Jimmy broke up. Want to know why?” she asked, as she turned towards him, her article completely forgotten.
Before he could ask, Chloe cut him off.
“Because some super tramp from a galaxy far, far away has been throwing herself at him. Know anything about that?”
Apparently this was a rhetorical question, because before he could deny any such behaviour on Kara’s part, Chloe continued, “What is it with your family, Clark? You say you care about me and my feelings, but your actions show otherwise. All you Kryptonians care about is yourselves, and I’m sick of it.”
“What is this really about Chloe? I know you cared for Jimmy, but I’m not Kara’s keeper. If this is why you’re so upset, you have no reason to take it out on me,” Clark said, his voice rising in anger.
“There you go again, Clark. Refusing to accept the blame for your actions. Do you know the kind of stress you put on my and Jimmy’s relationship? All those times I had to lie for you, and try to explain to Jimmy why I had to desert him to go help you?”
“I never asked you to do any of that, Chloe,” Clark said, which he quickly realized was not the right answer when Chloe flew up from her chair. He’d never seen her this angry before. She was breathing deeply and he could hear her heart beat accelerate as she stood before him.
“What did you expect me to do, Clark? You’re my best friend. I told you I’d die for you. Did you think I was just kidding around?” she spat. “You affect everything, Clark. My relationships, my sanity, my job. Half the articles my wonder boy editor wants me to chase after, I can’t touch with a ten foot pole for fear of revealing part of your secret.”
Clark didn’t know what to say. He knew that his secret was a burden for those who knew, but he thought Chloe could handle it. She always appeared so strong and supportive, it never occurred to him that she might be in need of support as well.
“Is that really it, Chloe?” Clark asked quietly. “Does knowing my secret really hurt you that badly?”
“Clark, I¾ ”
“If Jimmy really meant that much to you,” he interrupted, “I would have left you alone. All that matters to me is that you’re happy, Chloe,” Clark said, and he meant every word of it, despite how much being apart from her would hurt him.
“But I’m not happy!” she exclaimed. “You, and now your cousin, have never failed to show me, time and time again, that I will always be second best. The misfit toy that gets left behind, when something better comes along.”
“That is not true.”
“Oh, yeah? Then why are visiting me Clark? Is it to get information? Want me to dig something up for you? That’s all I seem to be good for anymore. When was the last time you brought me a coffee, like you used to. I’ll tell you when. It was before Lana showed up on your doorstep, free as a bird and ready to move in. Thanks for letting me know she was alive, by the way.”
“That was Lana’s decision. I would have told you if I could have, Chloe,” Clark said.
“I guess that show’s how much she cares about me, doesn’t it. Won’t even tell her sister she’s alive,” Chloe sneered.
“This isn’t about Lana, and I know this isn’t about Jimmy. What’s wrong Chloe?”
“I love you, Clark.”
The sudden admission surprised him. In Clark’s mind, she’d chosen Jimmy over him that day he’d returned from the phantom zone. Now, a year later, he was finally happily dating Lana without secrets to get in the way. Chloe knew this.
“I love you, too,” Clark responded, and added gently, “as a friend.”
Chloe laughed bitterly.
To Clark, she sounded broken.
“And that’s fine, Clark. But our relationship? Is not a friendship, it’s an emotional dependency. I can’t give you everything I have to give, all my love, support and protection, if you’re going to turn around and give yours to Lana. I just can’t keep doing this!”
Chloe’s face scrunched up as her eyes started to water. She held back her tears waiting for his response.
He looked at her, resigned.
“Chlo, I just don’t know what you want me to say.”
“You know what you can say?” she yelled, the tears now freely flowing. “You can say you’ll stay away from me. Stop relying on me all the time. You have Lana, now.”
He remained silent as she looked at him.
“You’re always there, Clark, expecting something from me that I can’t give you as just friend. Maybe that’s the problem. Maybe you should just stay away.”
He could tell she desperately needed to hear something from him, needed him to object, needed him to admit he needed her more than as just a friend.
“If that’s what you want,” he agreed quietly.
She stared hard at him, before turning away. She stood rigidly with her back towards him. Seconds ticked by.
“If you need me, Chloe, I’ll be there,” Clark spoke softly as he turned to leave.
“Clark,” Chloe called as he reached the door. “Tell Kara that if this is how she’s going to treat her friends on earth, she’s not going to have many.”
Her face was marred with tear tracks and her voice shook slightly, but she stood proudly and met his eyes.
Clark gave her one last look, and sped away.
In the distance he could here Chloe’s sobs as she broke down in the newspaper office. He ran faster, hopelessly trying to escape them.
*
When Clark arrived back at the farm, after a quick jog around the world to clear his head, he was met with a very unwelcome sight. Kara and Jimmy were cuddling on the Kents’ small couch in the living room, and Kara was giggling like a thirteen year old around her first crush.
He realized disgustedly that this was probably the case.
He walked up to the couple, who noticed him right away.
“Hey CK,” Jimmy greeted, and Kara just smiled up at him.
Jimmy’s hand was around her waist as they lay stretched out on the couch, an expression of languid tranquility on his face.
Clark Kent had never wanted to punch a man more in his life. This guy had torn his best friend’s heart in two and here he was, making out with his cousin.
With as much self-restraint as he could muster, Clark looked Jimmy in the eye and muttered forcefully, “Get out.”
Jimmy was surprised by Clark’s words and sat up.
“Whoa, buddy, what’s with the attitude?” Jimmy asked, “We were just hanging out.”
“I just talked to Chloe,” Clark informed him. Jimmy had the decency to look a little sheepish. “A little soon to be hitting on my cousin, don’t you think?”
“Clark!” Kara exclaimed, embarrassed. “Don’t listen to him Jimmy¾ ”
“No, it’s alright Kara. He just wants to protect you and Chloe. I respect that.” To Clark he said, “I never wanted to hurt her, CK, but we weren’t right for each other. It just took us a while to notice it.”
“Sure, Jimmy, which is why you didn’t even have the decency to end it with Chloe before you tried to get into Kara’s pants,” Clark said. His voice was lined with venom as he waited for the photographer to give him a reason to grind him into the floorboards. His eyes glowed scarlet. Clark hadn’t been this angry in a long time.
“Jimmy, maybe you should leave¾ ”
“You listen here, CK,” Jimmy said as he stood up to face Clark, ignoring Kara. “We may not have broken it off earlier, but me and Chloe haven’t been a couple for a long time. The whole time I was with her, all she could think about, all she worried about and all she cared about was you. So don’t ever point any fingers at me when it comes to hurting Chloe. Look in a mirror, buddy.”
Jimmy uttered a quick, ‘Bye Kara,’ before giving Clark a final glare. He grabbed his jacket and exited the Kent house with a large slam of the door.
As soon as she was sure Jimmy couldn’t hear, Kara burst out, “What was that for, Kal El? I finally manage to get Jimmy to admit he cares for me and you ruin it. I always let you and Lana spend time together, uninterrupted, I would expect the same courtesy from you!”
“You mean the same courtesy you showed Chloe?”
Kara looked away from him, stung. “I know what I did was wrong, but I love Jimmy. Lana told me about everything you’ve been through. She said that even when she was with another man, you fought for her. So, I decided I’d fight for Jimmy.”
“And Chloe would be a casualty? She’s done a lot for you since you’ve been here, Kara. Not only has she been a friend to you, but she’s helped to conceal your identity. She’s been more of a help to me than you’ll ever know. What you did wasn’t right. You should have waited until their relationship ended before you made any move on Jimmy.”
“You mean like you waited for Lana to end it with Lex? Are they even divorced yet, Clark?”
Clark’s cheeks burned. “That’s different Kara, and you know it.”
“Really? Not from the way I hear it. In fact, Lana told me a rather romantic tale about how you two were going to run off together on her wedding day. That sounds real honourable, Clark.”
She used his earth name as an insult, and Clark felt the full force of the blow.
“Lex was dangerous, Kara. She needed to escape him,” Clark argued.
“I completely agree with you, but was that the right way for you two to go about escaping Lex? Especially when Lana thought she was pregnant with his child?”
“Wow, you and Lana have really been sharing, haven’t you?” Clark remarked, trying to dodge the very accurate points Kara was making.
“She’s been sharing. Once you get Lana started talking about the tragic events in her life, she won’t stop.”
Clark wasn’t sure if Kara meant to insult Lana or was simply stating a fact.
“Maybe you’re right, Kara,” Clark admitted as he plopped down onto the couch and put his head in his hands. “I haven’t been the best role model for you, but you didn’t see Chloe tonight. I’ve never seen her so upset before. Even during what happened with her mom this year, she kept a lot of her emotions bottled up.”
“Her mom?” Kara asked as she joined him on the couch.
“It’s a long story,” Clark muttered. “Also, not mine to tell. You want to hear about it, you’ll have to find some miraculous way to become Chloe’s friend again.”
“You really don’t think she’ll forgive me?” Kara asked timidly.
Although Clark thought Kara had carelessly thrown Chloe’s friendship away, perhaps his cousin had valued it more than he believed.
“What did you expect Kara, you stole her boyfriend.”
“I know,” Kara said, “but I figured you’d be there to comfort her and you’d finally realize you two were meant for each other.”
“What?”
“Oh, come on, Clark. I see the way you two are together. Jimmy’s right. He may have called himself her boyfriend, but when it came down to it Chloe always turned to you. Just like you always turn to her.”
“How long have you been on this planet? A couple months? How can you possibly be able to tell how either of us feel?” Clark asked seriously.
“I’m a superior being, Kal El. We tend to learn very quickly,” Kara stated.
This won a reluctant smile from Clark. It was quickly smothered, however, as Clark reminded Kara, “I love Lana. We’re finally together and I’m not going to jeopardize that.”
Or was he reminding himself?
“And that’s your choice. So, please, let me make mine.”
“Fine,” he agreed reluctantly. “But I don’t have to like it. I still think you did a horrible thing to Chloe, and once you’ve given her some space, you should try and apologize. I can’t deal with having my cousin and my best friend on bad terms.”
“Fine,” she nodded. “I’m off to bed, Kal El. Lana went to sleep early, in case you were wondering.”
“What? Oh, yeah, right. I’ve got some things to do, so . . . Good night.”
Kara left Clark brooding on the couch. As soon as he saw her disappear up the stairs, Clark closed his eyes and focussed. He could hear the steady drum of Chloe’s heart as she continued her work at the Daily Planet. He focussed harder and could smell the black coffee she was sipping. He could almost taste the cinnamon gum she chewed as she worked.
He immersed himself completely in this world, and as he drifted off to sleep on the small couch, he was able to pretend he was there with her, like he always was. Like he always wanted to be.
a/n: So, this is the end of part one. I'm gonna try and get part two up soon, because if I don't it will never happen. Thanks for reading. Feedback is always appreciated.