sad panda
I've been been awake since the ass crack of dawn, which normally would be more than enough of a reason for me to be grumpy. But that's not my problem today. Today I'm grumpy because Jeffrey had to leave for New York. Without me.
This is the first time in 4 years that he won't be sleeping in our bed. First time in 4 years that I'll spend 24 full hours away from him. This whole thing has me damn near inconsolable, lol. How ridiculous. I know I'm a clingy girlfriend, but c'mon. I feel like a kid who just lost her puppy. I swear, if I cry one more time today, I'm going to smack myself straight across the face.
This all takes me back to the beginning of our relationship before he moved here from NY. Those were some tough months. He and I have always been strangely attached to each other and even though we jumped into things quickly, we never doubted for a second that all we wanted was 24/7 with each other. He was in tears this morning when he left, all the way up to getting out of the car at the airport. I had to pry his arms off of me.
Oh, and my other problem - planes make me so nervous. I know they're supposed to be the safest form of travel and all of that but when you're up there, your fate is in the hands of some pilot and his buddy and how closely they're paying attention. If that plane goes down, you don't stand a fighting chance. It scares the piss out of me. I've been praying to God, Jesus, the angels & saints and to the Virgin Mary so that she'll cover Jeffrey in her sacred mantle. I had DREAMS last night that I was praying to all of these people, too. Again, back to ridiculous....
And that would be another reason I'm grumpy, I guess. Sleep didn't come easily to me last night. I feel like I was only half asleep all night long. I worked until close to 8 last night and I'm tired today :( I think I can officially say that this day sucks. I was going to do a more general journal update, but I think I may have to make a separate post. I don't want to mix the funk with the regular stuff.
I do want to end this on a bright note though - my two cuddly pups keep edging each other out of the warm spot next to my laptop and leg. It makes me feel like they're fighting to cuddle with me, even though they probably aren't, lol.
Anyway, bye.
This is the first time in 4 years that he won't be sleeping in our bed. First time in 4 years that I'll spend 24 full hours away from him. This whole thing has me damn near inconsolable, lol. How ridiculous. I know I'm a clingy girlfriend, but c'mon. I feel like a kid who just lost her puppy. I swear, if I cry one more time today, I'm going to smack myself straight across the face.
This all takes me back to the beginning of our relationship before he moved here from NY. Those were some tough months. He and I have always been strangely attached to each other and even though we jumped into things quickly, we never doubted for a second that all we wanted was 24/7 with each other. He was in tears this morning when he left, all the way up to getting out of the car at the airport. I had to pry his arms off of me.
Oh, and my other problem - planes make me so nervous. I know they're supposed to be the safest form of travel and all of that but when you're up there, your fate is in the hands of some pilot and his buddy and how closely they're paying attention. If that plane goes down, you don't stand a fighting chance. It scares the piss out of me. I've been praying to God, Jesus, the angels & saints and to the Virgin Mary so that she'll cover Jeffrey in her sacred mantle. I had DREAMS last night that I was praying to all of these people, too. Again, back to ridiculous....
And that would be another reason I'm grumpy, I guess. Sleep didn't come easily to me last night. I feel like I was only half asleep all night long. I worked until close to 8 last night and I'm tired today :( I think I can officially say that this day sucks. I was going to do a more general journal update, but I think I may have to make a separate post. I don't want to mix the funk with the regular stuff.
I do want to end this on a bright note though - my two cuddly pups keep edging each other out of the warm spot next to my laptop and leg. It makes me feel like they're fighting to cuddle with me, even though they probably aren't, lol.
Anyway, bye.