Decisions, Decisions, Decisions
Well, America, I hate to rain on our parade, but I feel the need to add a little sobriety to the jubilation. In the wake of the Obama/hope/yes-we-can/Jesse-Jackson-crying-tears-of-joy positivity, we need to remember one side-effect of this historically monumental election: we have chosen the least funny president since Jimmy Carter.
America has been watching SNL over the past few months. We have been visited by impressions of Sen. John McCain by Darrell Hammond. We have seen impressions of Sen. Joe Biden by Jason Sudekas. We have seen the brilliant impression of Gov. Sarah Palin by Tina Fey which has breathed new life into the show, stirring excitement among the faithful in a way that hasn’t been felt since Will Ferrell in the early W years. And somehow, we the people have chosen Fred friggin’ Armisen.
Sure, the election of Barack Obama with a majority of over 51% of the popular vote and well over the 270 electoral votes needed to win the office speaks volumes about the need for change. Sure, the fact that Obama won a few traditionally red states means that America is swinging back towards the center. Sure, the fact that Obama won states in every region of the nation is a sign that Americans are tiring of division and yearning for unity. But, come on! Fred Armisen?
Look, over the past eight years, the country has been fractured. There have been McCarthy-esque inquisitions over patriotism. There has been shady logic surrounding everything from the Supreme Court selections to the war. There have been ridiculous accusations that being opposed to the invasion of Iraq automatically meant one hated our troops. Yes, we need to heal as a nation. But which would you rather watch: a broken fibula slowly set over the course of days, weeks and months? Or The Three Stooges?
Stooges in a walk! Or rather, “a walk across a treacherously constructed skyscraper frame while carrying an oversized plank of wood on your shoulder which bonks other people in the head every time you turn around, then a fall several stories into a puddle of wet cement and emerging like a sludgy statue.”
Face it, Nation, healing isn’t funny. So maybe we’re heading towards a better America. Maybe we’re repairing our relationships with foreign allies. Maybe we are refocusing our goals towards the improvement of our great nation. And one day soon, we might all be able to afford health care. And we may just see this financial crisis turn around down the road. For all we know, this country may be heading towards its lofty ideals and dreams of equality despite the proposition vote in California. Sure, this likely means a larger return of an actual work-ethic. Sure, this may be the first step towards personal responsibility. Sure, this may end up being the return to a sense of social responsibility. And, yes, all that's good. And, yes, all that means a better quality of life for each and every American and, maybe, people around the world. But when 2012 rolls around, America, ask yourself this: are we funnier now than we were four years ago?