Check (Running) Mate
I'm just gonna get this outta the way: Obama's VP choice was a shameless plea. That's right, I said it.
You know, people talk about McCain's choice of Alaskan Gov. Sarah Palin being a desperate attempt to get former Sen. Hillary Clinton supporters to cross party lines and vote for Sen. McCain. Pandering?!? Hogwash and balderdash!
Gov. Sarah Palin is true to all those highly-esteemed values of the GOP. She is anti-abortion, pro-gun, pro-drilling, pro-Iraq War. Gov. Palin promotes stripping down government programs. And she's an individualist. She is a maverick up there in the harsh Alaskan wilderness defending her family from the dangers of howling wolves! You wanna know what a maverick Sarah Palin is? She's going to clean up Washington, D.C.! But Gov. Sarah Palin won't stop there! No, she'll clean up the entire East Coast! She's a maverick reformer! She's going to fight against the corruption and nepotism of the US Government. And what's more, she'll do it all while under investigation for ethics violations alleging corruption and nepotism! Nothing falls more in line with the core values of the neo-conservative, Karl Rove-inspired extremists than decrying the greed and tyranny in Washington while violating the very codes of conduct you seek to uphold! Plus, she shoots wolves from fucking plane! How awesome is that!?!
Furthermore, Sarah Palin is fantastic at using catchy phrases like "maverick" all while avoiding the question she's been asked! Just like McCain v.2008! Go ahead, ask her anything? See? Nothing solid! No plans or strategy! She didn't even answer your question! You just got talking-points, neat phrases and folksiness coming out the wazoo! Who does that remind you of? That's right; starts with a "G" and ends with a "-resident George W. Bush." She even says "nucular!" She's fucking perfect! How could you not nominate her!?!
Sen. Joe Biden, however, that's an insult. Look, I don't know if you know this, but Barack Obama polls very well in the African-American community. Yup. You can look it up, it's true. And Obama (a name I believe he changed to seem less Irish) has all these "plans" and ideas. You know those are going to cost money. Sure, he has a plan to raise the money, but that's not the point. The point is that these ways to improve the country are going to cost something. I mean, come on, the guy talks to us as if we have two brain cells to rub together. What is he, a fucking teacher?
But while Obama does well in the African-American community, he's missing something. A key demographic: old white men. Enter Joe Biden. I feel insulted. What the hell does this senator from Delaware know? Seriously, he's from Delaware! That's, like, the second smallest state in this great Union of ours! If the greatness of our Union's states was judged according to land area, Delaware would be the second-least great. And what would be the greatest? Alaska.
Without Sen. Joe Biden, there is no way that a guy like Sen. Obama would be in this presidential race. There's no way a guy with ideas and plans who is likable, has a great talent for expressing himself in a well-thought out manner and a history reaching across the aisle to solve problems gets anywhere near the support Obama has received. But now, with the old white men that Biden brings to the campaign, Obama has taken the lead in both the polls and through a grant from the Electoral College.
We need to stop Obama's pandering to old white men and people with enough intelligence to find their own face. This country doesn't need concrete plans and actual methods of getting us out of the various economic, military and foreign policy disasters in which we're mired! We need to be coddled and kept in the dark! What does the Executive Branch of the US government do? I don't know and I don't want to know!
Ask yourself this: what do we need now? Leadership or marketing slogans? Come on, you know what you want. Take the plunge! Catch the wave and fall into the ever-increasing economic gap! Just do it! This is a serious subject, so be sure to remain fair and balanced. Now, wouldn't you like to be a Pepper too?
You know, people talk about McCain's choice of Alaskan Gov. Sarah Palin being a desperate attempt to get former Sen. Hillary Clinton supporters to cross party lines and vote for Sen. McCain. Pandering?!? Hogwash and balderdash!
Gov. Sarah Palin is true to all those highly-esteemed values of the GOP. She is anti-abortion, pro-gun, pro-drilling, pro-Iraq War. Gov. Palin promotes stripping down government programs. And she's an individualist. She is a maverick up there in the harsh Alaskan wilderness defending her family from the dangers of howling wolves! You wanna know what a maverick Sarah Palin is? She's going to clean up Washington, D.C.! But Gov. Sarah Palin won't stop there! No, she'll clean up the entire East Coast! She's a maverick reformer! She's going to fight against the corruption and nepotism of the US Government. And what's more, she'll do it all while under investigation for ethics violations alleging corruption and nepotism! Nothing falls more in line with the core values of the neo-conservative, Karl Rove-inspired extremists than decrying the greed and tyranny in Washington while violating the very codes of conduct you seek to uphold! Plus, she shoots wolves from fucking plane! How awesome is that!?!
Furthermore, Sarah Palin is fantastic at using catchy phrases like "maverick" all while avoiding the question she's been asked! Just like McCain v.2008! Go ahead, ask her anything? See? Nothing solid! No plans or strategy! She didn't even answer your question! You just got talking-points, neat phrases and folksiness coming out the wazoo! Who does that remind you of? That's right; starts with a "G" and ends with a "-resident George W. Bush." She even says "nucular!" She's fucking perfect! How could you not nominate her!?!
Sen. Joe Biden, however, that's an insult. Look, I don't know if you know this, but Barack Obama polls very well in the African-American community. Yup. You can look it up, it's true. And Obama (a name I believe he changed to seem less Irish) has all these "plans" and ideas. You know those are going to cost money. Sure, he has a plan to raise the money, but that's not the point. The point is that these ways to improve the country are going to cost something. I mean, come on, the guy talks to us as if we have two brain cells to rub together. What is he, a fucking teacher?
But while Obama does well in the African-American community, he's missing something. A key demographic: old white men. Enter Joe Biden. I feel insulted. What the hell does this senator from Delaware know? Seriously, he's from Delaware! That's, like, the second smallest state in this great Union of ours! If the greatness of our Union's states was judged according to land area, Delaware would be the second-least great. And what would be the greatest? Alaska.
Without Sen. Joe Biden, there is no way that a guy like Sen. Obama would be in this presidential race. There's no way a guy with ideas and plans who is likable, has a great talent for expressing himself in a well-thought out manner and a history reaching across the aisle to solve problems gets anywhere near the support Obama has received. But now, with the old white men that Biden brings to the campaign, Obama has taken the lead in both the polls and through a grant from the Electoral College.
We need to stop Obama's pandering to old white men and people with enough intelligence to find their own face. This country doesn't need concrete plans and actual methods of getting us out of the various economic, military and foreign policy disasters in which we're mired! We need to be coddled and kept in the dark! What does the Executive Branch of the US government do? I don't know and I don't want to know!
Ask yourself this: what do we need now? Leadership or marketing slogans? Come on, you know what you want. Take the plunge! Catch the wave and fall into the ever-increasing economic gap! Just do it! This is a serious subject, so be sure to remain fair and balanced. Now, wouldn't you like to be a Pepper too?