(no subject)

[plkjiouqrasd]

I feel like you're so far out of my reach, pretty girl. You were mine once, now you're not. I hope you know how much I think about you. I've been staying up all hours of the night, replaying the memories in my head, and I'm trying to figure out why I was stupid enough to let you go. You have a part of me that I feel like I can't ever get back. I am an asshole. I didn't treat you the way you deserved to be treated. I was selfish, and it's upsetting that I'm finally coming to terms with my problems. It's too late now. Never will I be able to wake up in the comfort of your arms. And never again will I be able to feel you breathing on my neck, nor will I be able to see that pretty smile that always made me melt.

Sometimes I feel like I can still smell your scent. It's haunting me. It makes my stomach turn and my head spin.

I love you. With all of my heart.
I've never felt so empty, and so unhopeful in my entire life. I'm not living the life that I want. It wasn't supposed to be this way.

I am no longer invincible. I got what I deserved. Heartbreak.
And it's also pathetic that I'm discussing my problems on livejournal. I feel like if I explained my situation to anyone, they'd call me self-centered, and obsessed. Maybe I am obsessed. And crazy.

I wish the whole memory erasing thing from Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind was real. I'd get that procedure done in a heartbeat.