a hearse drivers lament.....
having a hearse as my daily transportation, im constantly recieving absolute conversational gems from seemingly every random person who sees me gettng in or out of it. heres a few, along with my strandard reactions to such comments. sadly most of these ive heard in the past week.
can i ride in your hearst??????
*sigh* jesusfuckingchrist, hurst is a company that makes shifters & transmission parts. patty hearst is a rich white woman allegedly brainwashed by leftist symbionese militants in the mid 70's. i do not own, nor do i think you can actually ride in either.
this is like...a fucking hearse!!!!
oh my.you.are.fucking.brilliant.
would you let me drive it???????
no.
wanna trade cars?
no.
hows that thing handle?
its the size of a studio apartment. wtf do you think.
does it take alot of gas?
it weighs just under 2 tons, has a 425 cubic inch engine with a 4 brl carb. hummers get better mpg.
whatever posessed you to buy a hearse????
satan, mkay?
DUDE!!! NICE RIDE!!!!
thanks. i work out.
is that like your car, or is it for yr job?
do you really think funeral homes let their drivers go around wearing fatigues, a jack daniels tshirt & hat tha says "kill whitey"?....use yr fucking brain.
sell it to me!!
do you see a fucking for sale sign on it???
you should get a coffin to put in it!!!!!
buy me one.
yo i saw one of these on tv, all hooked up wid dubs and neons and shit!!!!
i dont care.
did you see that movie where the guy had a a hearse with a skull on the hood and killed people???????
nope
do you ever...ya know...in the back.....
yesi have.thanks.
have you ever felt, ya know spirits or anything?
the only spirits i have contact with come in a bottle and are typically at least 80 proof.
do you work for a morgue?
morgues use meatwagons. funeral homes use hearses
you should get a chucky doll and have him looking out the back window!!
ummmm...no.
isnt it SCARY driving it?
things like tooth decay scare me. not cars.
do you make money on the side doing funerals?
yea, every bereaved individual wants a long haired, unshaven guy with prison style ink taking their freshly stiff grandma to her final resting place.
what do cops say when they pull you over in taht thing????
hasnt happened. im a bit sad about tha actually.
on the other hand, theres just something immensly enjoyable about driving it in the rain at 1:30 in the morning, chain smoking blacks and listening to megadeth. if only people would keep their damn mouths shut.
//out
can i ride in your hearst??????
*sigh* jesusfuckingchrist, hurst is a company that makes shifters & transmission parts. patty hearst is a rich white woman allegedly brainwashed by leftist symbionese militants in the mid 70's. i do not own, nor do i think you can actually ride in either.
this is like...a fucking hearse!!!!
oh my.you.are.fucking.brilliant.
would you let me drive it???????
no.
wanna trade cars?
no.
hows that thing handle?
its the size of a studio apartment. wtf do you think.
does it take alot of gas?
it weighs just under 2 tons, has a 425 cubic inch engine with a 4 brl carb. hummers get better mpg.
whatever posessed you to buy a hearse????
satan, mkay?
DUDE!!! NICE RIDE!!!!
thanks. i work out.
is that like your car, or is it for yr job?
do you really think funeral homes let their drivers go around wearing fatigues, a jack daniels tshirt & hat tha says "kill whitey"?....use yr fucking brain.
sell it to me!!
do you see a fucking for sale sign on it???
you should get a coffin to put in it!!!!!
buy me one.
yo i saw one of these on tv, all hooked up wid dubs and neons and shit!!!!
i dont care.
did you see that movie where the guy had a a hearse with a skull on the hood and killed people???????
nope
do you ever...ya know...in the back.....
yesi have.thanks.
have you ever felt, ya know spirits or anything?
the only spirits i have contact with come in a bottle and are typically at least 80 proof.
do you work for a morgue?
morgues use meatwagons. funeral homes use hearses
you should get a chucky doll and have him looking out the back window!!
ummmm...no.
isnt it SCARY driving it?
things like tooth decay scare me. not cars.
do you make money on the side doing funerals?
yea, every bereaved individual wants a long haired, unshaven guy with prison style ink taking their freshly stiff grandma to her final resting place.
what do cops say when they pull you over in taht thing????
hasnt happened. im a bit sad about tha actually.
on the other hand, theres just something immensly enjoyable about driving it in the rain at 1:30 in the morning, chain smoking blacks and listening to megadeth. if only people would keep their damn mouths shut.
//out