Jacob got pissy over a soda, what a douche!
Today is Saturday... I felt lazy and decided to just sleep in. It was nice to relax from the exhausting week. Though lying in bed gets extremely lonely, most of the time I cannot find anything of interest on the TV, not that anything would interest me anyways. I stare at the ceiling for a few hours and think about any random thing. Usually it is about my future, will my marriage work out, what college will I go to, will I be a good psychologist, will the career I choose make me happy? All of these probe my mind and I finally feel so anxious over it that I force myself out of bed and start my day. I did my normal morning routine, eat cereal or whatever I can find in the fridge, then I fixed the white fan in the bedroom. Whomever put that thing together really fucked up the metal base inside. Though it still works, it begs to be beaten to death. It mocks me, it stares at me like a child with down syndrome, it's head drooping, giving me a funny sounds occasionally. I'd buy a new fan, but that costs money that I don't want to spend at the moment. After fixing the fan and occasionally answering random texts normally left by Jeff, I finally started cleaning up again. Between watching the movies Equilibrium and the newest Friday the 13th film, I was writing a lot of entries for my live journal. Some of the entries you don't see because they ask very probing questions that make me go on rants for long periods of time. I sure as hell know that you don't want to read that crap. To go back, when watching the Friday the 13th film (the newest one)...it was okay. It had new elements that were added to better explain Jason and how he is able to kill so easily. I won't go into it, instead I'll say that I'd give it a 6.5/10. It was worth it's money at the Pawn shop, but I would never buy it for retail. I know that I have been watching Equilibrium a lot. I have a lot to reflect on, it is a good movie for the psychologist's mind. It makes me reflect on the world as I know it. Are we doomed to face self destruction, is the human disease that truly plagues our sense of humanity, emotion? I know you watch it to be entertained, I watch things to over analyze them and really find better meaning in my life. I guess that's where you and I differ. There is this philosopher in me that needs to get out. The rest of the afternoon was spend M-ing...a lot. I just didn't want to think anymore. Even after doing just a little bit of homework, I needed to find something that would give me pleasure. Though after a lot of orgasms, I began to cry. You can't find love in a plastic object. It cannot reciprocate back on how good it felt. If nothing else, with actual sex...you see the person next to you and you feel a little more whole. After M-ing, I see an empty right side of the bed. It hits me hard and sometimes I can't stop crying. I feel like breaking inside. It almost makes me wonder how you feel at night. I guess I don't sympathize with you because you have battle buddies to share your grief, I have only myself at home. Anyway, to wrap this up...I got lonely enough to go to Daphne's, pick up Henry to help me run errands (we went to Walgreen's get the photos developed, then Del Taco while waiting, then to Home Depot to look for better chairs, then Walmart to pick up tomatoes.) I took him back and we talked for a few more minutes at the apartment. Jacob was an ass asking why I don't hang around him and Daphne too often anymore. I explained that this has been the only time I have taken Henry alone with me to do something. Jacob has serious insecurity issues and needs to be the center of attention at all times. Henry is just laid back and cool, Daphne is sweet and funny and charming. I wish Jacob would die, he's a douche. The rest of the night I spent really pissed off at him when I tried to take a soda from the fridge and he freaked. Henry sided with me, that I always bring them alcohol and food, why shouldn't I take a soda? Daphne and I would talk about it later and she would admit to me that he PMS's more than a woman. To end the night on a better note, Henry and I went to Fail blog and People of Walmart to find some humor. I went home and felt a little better after having a good laugh. Night.