Story of my life
At the beginning, I was a speck; luckily, one with a nucleus. I was classified as a metazoan, and that's when things really started turning up. First, I split down a single axis of symmetry, and my internal tube became an anus. After that, I grew a notochord. Then I gained cartilagenous elements which become calcified, and hence developed into vertebrae. Next, my mouth became jawed, and my fins became lobed, and I crawled up onto land, where I developed an amniotic egg. Then my skull developed a single cranial fenestra, which really opened my mind to a lot of new options. Suddenly I was able to thermoregulate, so I grew fur and mammaries, and a placenta; then pentadactyly with an opposing pollux, and a narrow nose. My brain became really large, so I decided to go bipedal. Then I was born. I lived near Boston for a while, where I developed my ability to speak and walk and go to the bathroom on my own. Eventually I moved and started attending school full time. As of recently, I am feeling fossilized in a seemingly endless academic eon, which makes the transition from chondricthyes to osteichthyes look like cake. I wonder what the next step will be.
