(no subject)
When a span of time has elapsed, it's better to start fresh rather than reintroduce...
...It's funny how the gap of time is diminutive, but the gap of growth is gargantuan. Reading back on previous entries, I find myself scoffing at...myself. I often think that if I was able to see myself from a few years back, I would more than likely shake my head. I don't necessarily have regrets, but my state of mind was extremely naive [cliche, I know] and pretty oblivious. I do feel as though I have matured and obtained a better sense of reality as well as what to should really be appreciated in life.
I have this undefinable love and adoration for my niece, Sofie. She, unknowingly, has taken such a hold on me. You can often find me smiling at a random moment because I am thinking about how she says "I love you, Missa", how she gets so excited when she uses the potty and gets M&M's for a job well done [my mom's technique], how she always wants to play "ashes down", etc. Having Sofie around has made me realize how unimportant as well as important life is. There isn't anything that I can think of that I appreciate more than her.
I've also redeveloped as well as developed my independence. Having not been in a relationship for quite some time now is honestly a relieving feeling. It's relieving in the sense that I am taking time to be quite selfish. Quite the admission, I know, but I do appreciate time to myself. I loved my relationship, but over three years I had become accustomed to stretching myself very thin. My new found independence is exciting as well as nerve racking. To no longer be under the watch of my mother has made things easier. However, sometimes I do miss not having financial worries and such.
I would like to think that I am at a good place, but it kills me not knowing what lays ahead. I no longer have the set goals like graduation to look forward to. I definitely have aspirations and goals that I would like to achieve, but all of the contingencies leave me overwhelmed...
...It's funny how the gap of time is diminutive, but the gap of growth is gargantuan. Reading back on previous entries, I find myself scoffing at...myself. I often think that if I was able to see myself from a few years back, I would more than likely shake my head. I don't necessarily have regrets, but my state of mind was extremely naive [cliche, I know] and pretty oblivious. I do feel as though I have matured and obtained a better sense of reality as well as what to should really be appreciated in life.
I have this undefinable love and adoration for my niece, Sofie. She, unknowingly, has taken such a hold on me. You can often find me smiling at a random moment because I am thinking about how she says "I love you, Missa", how she gets so excited when she uses the potty and gets M&M's for a job well done [my mom's technique], how she always wants to play "ashes down", etc. Having Sofie around has made me realize how unimportant as well as important life is. There isn't anything that I can think of that I appreciate more than her.
I've also redeveloped as well as developed my independence. Having not been in a relationship for quite some time now is honestly a relieving feeling. It's relieving in the sense that I am taking time to be quite selfish. Quite the admission, I know, but I do appreciate time to myself. I loved my relationship, but over three years I had become accustomed to stretching myself very thin. My new found independence is exciting as well as nerve racking. To no longer be under the watch of my mother has made things easier. However, sometimes I do miss not having financial worries and such.
I would like to think that I am at a good place, but it kills me not knowing what lays ahead. I no longer have the set goals like graduation to look forward to. I definitely have aspirations and goals that I would like to achieve, but all of the contingencies leave me overwhelmed...