(no subject)
A twelve hour period isn't supposed to be so terrible. Awful. I want to go to sleep so badly, but, I know the minute I do I will suffer something even worse to punish me for the peace I had tried to allow myself. My drinking schedule was perfect; moderated, started early, ended early, felt confident in myself the whole time. I've been in a horrible mood, despite what could have been an enhoyable evening. The people around me got fed up with me in a few minutes so I masked my mood with an artificial energetic attitude. Several occurences later, and I'm throwing up (five hours after I had stopped drinking for the night, and I had only had six drinks over a seven hour period) the bile that very accurately depicts what was going on inside me all day... brown bile, watered down and acidic, wanting to escape, but once it does I still don't feel all too great. I still don't feel well. Not stomach-wise, not mood-wise (understandably). I want to sleep, but I'm afraid of sitting still and turning my brain off.