entry twenty three: unexpected (christmas) Hogswatch letter writing.
Dear Hogfather,
This is ridiculous and I haven't done this since I was ten.
I suppose this is a fair enough compulsion at this time of year, and I'm not one to mock Disc traditions, especially when surrounded by all these Earth dwellers. So, I'm not going to complain.
Although they're hardly children and surely don't beli...
Just, please, Hogfather, give:
Sirrus: Journals. As many as you can possibly give him. Possibly a book on the Disc too. he ought to understand how our planet works
Judas: Something from his country. Israel. That place like Klatch. Sand, if nothing else. I don't really know what the place is like, so your choice. Not a camel. I swear, if you practical joke fill his room with sand...
The Doctor...should I reall...he might sulk Alright. Get the Doctor a whole kilo of jelly babies. And a map of the country Djelibeybi, if you would.
Angel, Sam and Sexby should all get a book on effective policing in times of emergency. Published in Ankh-Morpork, of course. I have no time for their Earth theories
I'd like some new rulers and another notebook, please.
I cannot believe I just did that.
Captain Findthee Swing,
Ankh-Morpork City Night Watch.
[Susan, Judas, Shego and Sirrus get Hogswatch cards. Because this man loves his planet and hates nobody getting it. This overcomes his miserableness. They're all quite perfunctory inside, and have a picture of the Hogfather on the front. Happy (most miserable) Hogswatch from the resident torturer. This doesn't mean he likes you, Susan.]
If anyone expects me to leave out turnips...
Miss Sto-Helit. The date doesn't even exist on these calendars. I don't care how much you might hate me... what should we do? Stupid roundworld. This Hogswatch/Christmas business is starting to give me a headache.