<3 Colbert!
WASHINGTON - U.S. Senator Barack Obama (D-IL) Tuesday released the
following statement in response to the news that Stephen Colbert will
speak at the 2006 Knox College commencement:
"Stephen, Congratulations on being asked to speak at the 2006 Knox
College Commencement. This is an enormous honor and on behalf of the
people of Illinois, I'd like to welcome you to our state. As you know, I
was invited to speak at Knox after my keynote address at the 2004
Democratic National Convention and subsequent election to the United
States Senate. Your convention speech must also have gone really well to
have been invited. It's weird that I didn't read about it somewhere.
"Before you deliver your remarks in front of literally millions fewer
people than you would at say, a nationally televised political
convention, I'd like to offer you a few words of advice. First, I know
you're fond of your Peabody Awards, whatever those are, but I'd
recommend not bringing them. The students at Knox are down to earth and
not impressed by materials possessions like my Grammy Award for Best
Spoken Word Album.
"Second, use hand sanitizer after the Pumphandle. Lots of germs there. I
cannot stress this enough.
"And finally, don't forget to bring the Truth. I'd recommend putting it
in your carry-on bag rather than in your checked luggage. O'Hare Airport
is notoriously unreliable.
"To the Knox College class of 2006, I'm sorry I won't get to speak with
you this year, but congratulations and best of luck. You make us all
proud."
following statement in response to the news that Stephen Colbert will
speak at the 2006 Knox College commencement:
"Stephen, Congratulations on being asked to speak at the 2006 Knox
College Commencement. This is an enormous honor and on behalf of the
people of Illinois, I'd like to welcome you to our state. As you know, I
was invited to speak at Knox after my keynote address at the 2004
Democratic National Convention and subsequent election to the United
States Senate. Your convention speech must also have gone really well to
have been invited. It's weird that I didn't read about it somewhere.
"Before you deliver your remarks in front of literally millions fewer
people than you would at say, a nationally televised political
convention, I'd like to offer you a few words of advice. First, I know
you're fond of your Peabody Awards, whatever those are, but I'd
recommend not bringing them. The students at Knox are down to earth and
not impressed by materials possessions like my Grammy Award for Best
Spoken Word Album.
"Second, use hand sanitizer after the Pumphandle. Lots of germs there. I
cannot stress this enough.
"And finally, don't forget to bring the Truth. I'd recommend putting it
in your carry-on bag rather than in your checked luggage. O'Hare Airport
is notoriously unreliable.
"To the Knox College class of 2006, I'm sorry I won't get to speak with
you this year, but congratulations and best of luck. You make us all
proud."