(no subject)
I'm so [tired, cold, hungry.] But my desire to [sleep, put something on, eat] is diminished by everything unfortunate that seems to have befallen me at once. I tried so hard, I really did. I try to make everyone happy, I try so hard that i've forgotten about myself and it doesn't even matter when it occurs to me. I need to purge myself of everything in my life and start all over again. Granted, I probably won't. But I wish I could start again. I need to get really drunk to put new perspective on things, thankfully there'll be the sister's Halloween party. If I can just manage to drink myself into a stupor for a while, maybe things will look better when I come out. Like those stupid pink plastic drawing boards I used to play with as a kid.
as an absolutely aside note, I need your number Mandy. Filling up my space in the cell phone phone book makes me feel important in some little way.
I wish there was something beautiful about me. Maybe there is, and I just haven't found it, but I find myself wanting to be what everyone else is. Like Shakespeare. Or Chris Conley. or Tom Petty.
Fuck.
Goodnite.
as an absolutely aside note, I need your number Mandy. Filling up my space in the cell phone phone book makes me feel important in some little way.
I wish there was something beautiful about me. Maybe there is, and I just haven't found it, but I find myself wanting to be what everyone else is. Like Shakespeare. Or Chris Conley. or Tom Petty.
Fuck.
Goodnite.