Piano Chords
When we have nothing is when we start to desire so much, or even a little bit more. But then we get what we've been hoping for and we hold on to it...but we might not question it enough, we might not delve into the keys.
Watch those houses flow past from a broken down bus window, those huge lawns and beautiful trees with white shutters and big wooden doors that let all the fake smiles out, and I'm wishing that I'll have one soon enough. It's not that I have little, but each time I get something I think I want I start to think bigger, more elaborate. Nothing can bring infinite joy; happiness is an instant thing that evaporates as quickly as it came. Denis Leary may have said it best and I don't much feel up to dropping a quote, but I think you should look it up. Gardens stretch on for miles and the people toiling away only pretend to be composed because so many eyes are staring. And my eyes are drawing pictures on the horizon when I walk out onto my back porch and find that beyond my fence is an opportunity, but the ways to success, whatever success might be, are insurmountable obstacles. And the real kicker is that even though everyone is striving for so much, and people pretend to be all about helping one another, everyone is just competing. All that our lives have been reduced to is strive for greatness and destroying anyone who gives you a run for your money. As of now I don't think I have much to offer anyone, and I hear that enough that it's sinking in. And most of the things that I have gained have been taken away as quickly. Or I get the chance to grasp the things I fall in love with for awhile until other images, other desires take residence in my mind. I'm getting tired of playing games with the entire world and vying for the acceptance and respect from people who don't take a second look at me until I beg them to. Explaining me to those who aren't actually listening is starting to annoy me and quite frankly I think I could be wasting my time in doing so.
Those prestige’s estates and institutions that I am trying to attain, but am being told are too far out of my league, are beginning to grow more distant. But I don't think I can listen to anyone but me anymore, or listen to the people who are honest (whether they are positive or negative, as long as I am receiving progressive criticism) and those who actually want to be around me. Don't pretend you are interested in anything about me unless you want to take awhile out of your time to talk to me.
I have difficulty making points clear to myself, trying to illustrate a characteristic or describe how I tick. I'm working on it. I'm 17 and I'm questioning things as if I were about to make life altering decisions. And I am, but I am terrified to make any attempt and I am even more terrified to fail, to lose something, or to lose numerous things.
I want to take a train ride through a country side and I don't want to pass people lying in the fields. I want to join them. Watch the video for Summertime by MAE and you can get a fairly accurate view of what I want while I'm in high school.
My Concerns are in the present though. I am going to do exactly the opposite of what I think I should do. I will show up people with doubts as best I can. My only goal in life is to be perfectly content with what I do until I die. And every time I say that money isn't important and that twelve cars and a few mansions aren't my aspirations, I get sarcastic smirks and dismissive nods. As of now, as of 5 days from now, all I want is Pepsi...Or a Campfire...Or a driver’s license, no, that isn't even important. I want kites and I want that cliff on the beach with messages and sunsets. I want to be alone and I want to be in your arms. And I want this confusion to float away from me on the wings of a dove or on the melody of an acoustic guitar.
I want you to decipher my metaphors listed above, and if you can get a couple, a few that mean something to you, message me when you figure it out.
♥
5am Goodnight.
Watch those houses flow past from a broken down bus window, those huge lawns and beautiful trees with white shutters and big wooden doors that let all the fake smiles out, and I'm wishing that I'll have one soon enough. It's not that I have little, but each time I get something I think I want I start to think bigger, more elaborate. Nothing can bring infinite joy; happiness is an instant thing that evaporates as quickly as it came. Denis Leary may have said it best and I don't much feel up to dropping a quote, but I think you should look it up. Gardens stretch on for miles and the people toiling away only pretend to be composed because so many eyes are staring. And my eyes are drawing pictures on the horizon when I walk out onto my back porch and find that beyond my fence is an opportunity, but the ways to success, whatever success might be, are insurmountable obstacles. And the real kicker is that even though everyone is striving for so much, and people pretend to be all about helping one another, everyone is just competing. All that our lives have been reduced to is strive for greatness and destroying anyone who gives you a run for your money. As of now I don't think I have much to offer anyone, and I hear that enough that it's sinking in. And most of the things that I have gained have been taken away as quickly. Or I get the chance to grasp the things I fall in love with for awhile until other images, other desires take residence in my mind. I'm getting tired of playing games with the entire world and vying for the acceptance and respect from people who don't take a second look at me until I beg them to. Explaining me to those who aren't actually listening is starting to annoy me and quite frankly I think I could be wasting my time in doing so.
Those prestige’s estates and institutions that I am trying to attain, but am being told are too far out of my league, are beginning to grow more distant. But I don't think I can listen to anyone but me anymore, or listen to the people who are honest (whether they are positive or negative, as long as I am receiving progressive criticism) and those who actually want to be around me. Don't pretend you are interested in anything about me unless you want to take awhile out of your time to talk to me.
I have difficulty making points clear to myself, trying to illustrate a characteristic or describe how I tick. I'm working on it. I'm 17 and I'm questioning things as if I were about to make life altering decisions. And I am, but I am terrified to make any attempt and I am even more terrified to fail, to lose something, or to lose numerous things.
I want to take a train ride through a country side and I don't want to pass people lying in the fields. I want to join them. Watch the video for Summertime by MAE and you can get a fairly accurate view of what I want while I'm in high school.
My Concerns are in the present though. I am going to do exactly the opposite of what I think I should do. I will show up people with doubts as best I can. My only goal in life is to be perfectly content with what I do until I die. And every time I say that money isn't important and that twelve cars and a few mansions aren't my aspirations, I get sarcastic smirks and dismissive nods. As of now, as of 5 days from now, all I want is Pepsi...Or a Campfire...Or a driver’s license, no, that isn't even important. I want kites and I want that cliff on the beach with messages and sunsets. I want to be alone and I want to be in your arms. And I want this confusion to float away from me on the wings of a dove or on the melody of an acoustic guitar.
I want you to decipher my metaphors listed above, and if you can get a couple, a few that mean something to you, message me when you figure it out.
♥
5am Goodnight.