damn how in the hell am i supposed to deal with this?
stevielovefish: what do you see when you look at me
PleaseDieSara: a beautiful boy with a caring face and laid back nature
stevielovefish: i think thats good
PleaseDieSara: it's good
stevielovefish: so im happy
PleaseDieSara: why
stevielovefish: you mentioned you could see right through certain people so wanted to know what you saw in me
PleaseDieSara: there's alot of things i see in you
PleaseDieSara: what do you see when you look at me/
stevielovefish: i see a wonderful kind personwho has been hurt, yet still wants to care for people and wants people to care for her. someone like me, wants to be in love but is scared of getting hurt
stevielovefish: thats only part of it i see allot more
stevielovefish: am i semiaccurate???
PleaseDieSara: yes
stevielovefish: i have 600 things all tryingto comeout at once, and itsmaking no sense
PleaseDieSara: :0
PleaseDieSara: :-)
PleaseDieSara: just let it flow
PleaseDieSara: and i will sort it out
stevielovefish: i have never felt as strongly for anyone as i do you, i am scared shitless, i want to just let go and fall for you completely but i don't want to get hurt, i know that you would never hurt me intentionally, and so i have gone further emothionally then anyone else, and im am afraid that tellling you this will upset you orscare you off. i want to make you happy, thats my main concern in this relationship, not, not being lonely, or getting laid, its i want to make you happy
stevielovefish: i hope im not freaking you out
PleaseDieSara: your not
PleaseDieSara: i'm trying to sort out what i'm thinking
stevielovefish: same here
stevielovefish: i just don't know what to do, i am head over heals for you, and i have decided im just gonna take it one day at a time
stevielovefish: up until we went out the longest relationship i was in was 2 weeks and it wasn't very serious, so i am just a little lost
PleaseDieSara: i want to let go and just let myself be in love with you but i have this complete fear that nothing ever last because nothing ever has before. nothing has ever ended up being what i wanted it to be so i'm scared that because something about this is so right that it will all blow up in my face
stevielovefish: i know its terrifing, i want to just let go, its perfect, and i know what you mean, its scary, but exciting, its like a rollarcoaster with no restrants
stevielovefish: a hell of a ride, thrilling bu if it goes wrong you are in for HURT
stevielovefish: fluffy??? are you there
PleaseDieSara: i'm fighting myself with every ounce of strength i have to not let my pessimmistic side take over... but also to not get too comfortable with this
PleaseDieSara: not to let my self get used to you
PleaseDieSara: because i don't know when you'll tire of me and be gone
stevielovefish: i won't tire of me, im afraid of when you'll find a new guy and leave me.
stevielovefish: i won;t tire of you
PleaseDieSara: I'm also fucking scared to death of finding someone i might be ment to be with and only be 17
PleaseDieSara: it scares the shit out of me that i knew about you. fucking three years ago i knew you. i knew your name before i met you
PleaseDieSara: i knew it was you the first time i saw you
PleaseDieSara: that scares the shit out of me
stevielovefish: i can agree its scary to find someone so young but then i think that i am the luckiest person alive because at only 18 found someone like you, possibly the one
PleaseDieSara: i've always thought i'd be alone
PleaseDieSara: it's hard to change your thought process
stevielovefish: honey, you have me
stevielovefish: im not going anywhere you make me happier then anyone else makes me
stevielovefish: all i think about at work is how i want to see you
PleaseDieSara: :-)
PleaseDieSara: i do the same thing
stevielovefish: i always think of my future
stevielovefish: where i want to be what i plan to do
stevielovefish: where will i live
stevielovefish: but i keep thinking of you
stevielovefish: i thought that i want to after college, buy some land and build a house
stevielovefish: we design it, buld it, live in it
stevielovefish: thats scary at 18 thinking about plans with someone
PleaseDieSara: for the last two years i've loved my life more than i ever had and actually started planning a futre. thinking of what school i wanted to go to and stuff. actually started planning it out and always planned it out by myself. there was never any one else involved
PleaseDieSara: but lately
PleaseDieSara: i still want all of it. but i want you to be a part of it
stevielovefish: i want to get out of college as early as possible get a tech. cert in electronics, get a decent job, move out and in with you, and workfull time and finish up my degree part time
stevielovefish: this is a thought i know that i should have enough credits by the end of summer, i just don't know if i have the right classes for it
PleaseDieSara: this summer?
stevielovefish: yes
PleaseDieSara: i thought summer was over
stevielovefish: i have 12 credits now, i will have 24 and the end of this years
stevielovefish: no 30-36 and the end of next semster
stevielovefish: and by the end of sunner 40+
stevielovefish: i can pullof a tech. cert
stevielovefish: the summer coming up
PleaseDieSara: ok
PleaseDieSara: i've just never been so scared before
stevielovefish: i know, me neither
stevielovefish: i don't know ifi can take the hurt if we don't work out
PleaseDieSara: I'm fucking terrified of this. i feel like my idea of my life is being flipped upside down and i'm being shaken out of it
stevielovefish: i feel like my idea of life has been jetted forward 5 years
PleaseDieSara: and what i'm being put into is totally new
stevielovefish: i wanted to get out of college then meet someone, that way i know i could support them
stevielovefish: or us actually
stevielovefish: and now i am scared because i don't know what to do. life given methe greatest curveball ever
PleaseDieSara: all i know right now is that i feel like nothing matters when i'm with you
PleaseDieSara: all this shit i constantly worry about and analyze just doesn't fucking matter
PleaseDieSara: and i'm safe to just be
stevielovefish: its why we stay witheach other till 4-5 in the mornig
stevielovefish: we are all that matter to each other, when im with you i don;t care about work the next morning
stevielovefish: or having tobe in because of this that or the other, i onlywant to be with you
stevielovefish: i have to fight with myself forever tobget myself to leave
PleaseDieSara: heheh
PleaseDieSara: so do i
stevielovefish: :-)
PleaseDieSara: there are times when i used to just fuck around and not care about anything. but i haven't done that in a long time
PleaseDieSara: until recently
PleaseDieSara: I've never been with another person that makes me feel like nothing else matters
PleaseDieSara: I'm not scared of what the consequences are when i'm out all night
PleaseDieSara: or caring about how tired i will be when i didn't get home until three and i have to get up at 9 for work
PleaseDieSara: 3 hours of sleep at night is becoming enough for me
PleaseDieSara: and when i sleep it's always good
PleaseDieSara: I haven't had a nightmare in a month
PleaseDieSara: and i always do
stevielovefish: thats good you sleep well, but don't deprive yourself of anything becuase of me
stevielovefish: i want you to be happy
PleaseDieSara: oh i've survived on less
PleaseDieSara: and i am
PleaseDieSara: sometimes i'm so giddy when i get home that i can't sleep
stevielovefish: lol
stevielovefish: i go to sleep smiling after i see you
stevielovefish: this conversation is making me feel allot better, i was worried that you didn't feel the same, and that i would scare you with this
PleaseDieSara: nope
PleaseDieSara: :-)
stevielovefish: :-)
PleaseDieSara: the other day when i fell asleep at mikes... when i woke up and covered my face it's because i have always felt weird sleeping around people
stevielovefish: you were soooo incredibly cute
PleaseDieSara: when i'm alone with you i'm completely ok... it surpised the hell out of me that i could sleep in the same bed with you the first night because i just don't do that. anyone new i usually lay awake for hours because i feel like i'm being watched when i sleep or something
PleaseDieSara: and when i fell asleep and woke up i reliezed where i was and that i was asleep and stuff and freaked out
PleaseDieSara: at mikes i mean
stevielovefish: :-)
PleaseDieSara: the first night i was ever at crystals she fell asleep at about 2
PleaseDieSara: and i stayed up until daylight
PleaseDieSara: i did it at liz's when i was younger
stevielovefish: say awake, or fall asleep
PleaseDieSara: stayed awake
PleaseDieSara: i've just never felt comfortable sleeping until i was sure everyone else was asleep to.
stevielovefish: well im glad you can sleep with me
stevielovefish: i love sleeping, cuddling, holding, being with you
PleaseDieSara: the only other person i've ever felt comfortable sleeping with was my sister jesca. after stevie died for about a year we couldn't sleep in seperate beds. we had two bedrooms but we always slept in the same bed
stevielovefish: i want tell you 2 things, 1, i can't promise to make you happy, but saying that, i can tell you this, i will try 110% to make you happy as long as we are together, and secondly if you fall for me like i am falling for you, i will be there to catch you.
PleaseDieSara: and with you it's just like everything else has dissapeared, and it was so easy just to let go. i was so comfortable with you.
stevielovefish: im glad, because i am so happy, and carefree when i am with you, the onlything i worry about is if i am making you happy, or showing you good time
PleaseDieSara: your making me happy by just being with me
PleaseDieSara: don't worry about entertaining me
stevielovefish: aight i can live with that
PleaseDieSara: i just want to hold you
PleaseDieSara: be around you
PleaseDieSara: look at you
stevielovefish: smae here
stevielovefish: i wantto be with you
PleaseDieSara: and i'm fine with just that
stevielovefish: i want to just hold you
stevielovefish: lay in bed hold you have you be the last thing i see, and the first thing i see at night, then i know i am having the best day ever
PleaseDieSara: i'm just confused and scared as fuck because i'm not used to this. and i don't want to let myself get used to it. because it's happened so fast and i'm afraid of the fall
stevielovefish: same here but, i willbe here for you, because im falling fast and herd
stevielovefish: who knew something this great could be at fazolis
stevielovefish: :-)
PleaseDieSara: hahaha
PleaseDieSara: who knew something this good would come from working at fazoli's
PleaseDieSara: we owe kuni toyoda big time
stevielovefish: i think dealing with mike makes us almost even
PleaseDieSara: hahaha if we ever got married we should invite him to our wedding
PleaseDieSara: kuni
stevielovefish: yes kuni
stevielovefish: i have a question, for a wedding would you want a huge serimony, or a few friends andfamily,or aloping to the carribean
PleaseDieSara: ummm
PleaseDieSara: i haven't planned to much as far as people go realyl don't care for alot. but i've thought of how i wanted to do it before
PleaseDieSara: it's very weird
stevielovefish: i have always wanted to do my wedding at night on the beach, barefoot
stevielovefish: that would make a nice touch
PleaseDieSara: sounds nice
PleaseDieSara: i'd like to get married during an electrical storm. it'd be hard as hell to plan
PleaseDieSara: but could you imagin if you were outside at night on a beach and there was lighting all over the sky and striking into the water and shit
stevielovefish: just make sure you weren't wearing any metal
PleaseDieSara: yep
PleaseDieSara: it'd be kinda thrilling
PleaseDieSara: but it would be cool as hell
stevielovefish: yes it would
stevielovefish: i want my fluffy
PleaseDieSara: i want you to
PleaseDieSara: a beautiful boy with a caring face and laid back nature
stevielovefish: i think thats good
PleaseDieSara: it's good
stevielovefish: so im happy
PleaseDieSara: why
stevielovefish: you mentioned you could see right through certain people so wanted to know what you saw in me
PleaseDieSara: there's alot of things i see in you
PleaseDieSara: what do you see when you look at me/
stevielovefish: i see a wonderful kind personwho has been hurt, yet still wants to care for people and wants people to care for her. someone like me, wants to be in love but is scared of getting hurt
stevielovefish: thats only part of it i see allot more
stevielovefish: am i semiaccurate???
PleaseDieSara: yes
stevielovefish: i have 600 things all tryingto comeout at once, and itsmaking no sense
PleaseDieSara: :0
PleaseDieSara: :-)
PleaseDieSara: just let it flow
PleaseDieSara: and i will sort it out
stevielovefish: i have never felt as strongly for anyone as i do you, i am scared shitless, i want to just let go and fall for you completely but i don't want to get hurt, i know that you would never hurt me intentionally, and so i have gone further emothionally then anyone else, and im am afraid that tellling you this will upset you orscare you off. i want to make you happy, thats my main concern in this relationship, not, not being lonely, or getting laid, its i want to make you happy
stevielovefish: i hope im not freaking you out
PleaseDieSara: your not
PleaseDieSara: i'm trying to sort out what i'm thinking
stevielovefish: same here
stevielovefish: i just don't know what to do, i am head over heals for you, and i have decided im just gonna take it one day at a time
stevielovefish: up until we went out the longest relationship i was in was 2 weeks and it wasn't very serious, so i am just a little lost
PleaseDieSara: i want to let go and just let myself be in love with you but i have this complete fear that nothing ever last because nothing ever has before. nothing has ever ended up being what i wanted it to be so i'm scared that because something about this is so right that it will all blow up in my face
stevielovefish: i know its terrifing, i want to just let go, its perfect, and i know what you mean, its scary, but exciting, its like a rollarcoaster with no restrants
stevielovefish: a hell of a ride, thrilling bu if it goes wrong you are in for HURT
stevielovefish: fluffy??? are you there
PleaseDieSara: i'm fighting myself with every ounce of strength i have to not let my pessimmistic side take over... but also to not get too comfortable with this
PleaseDieSara: not to let my self get used to you
PleaseDieSara: because i don't know when you'll tire of me and be gone
stevielovefish: i won't tire of me, im afraid of when you'll find a new guy and leave me.
stevielovefish: i won;t tire of you
PleaseDieSara: I'm also fucking scared to death of finding someone i might be ment to be with and only be 17
PleaseDieSara: it scares the shit out of me that i knew about you. fucking three years ago i knew you. i knew your name before i met you
PleaseDieSara: i knew it was you the first time i saw you
PleaseDieSara: that scares the shit out of me
stevielovefish: i can agree its scary to find someone so young but then i think that i am the luckiest person alive because at only 18 found someone like you, possibly the one
PleaseDieSara: i've always thought i'd be alone
PleaseDieSara: it's hard to change your thought process
stevielovefish: honey, you have me
stevielovefish: im not going anywhere you make me happier then anyone else makes me
stevielovefish: all i think about at work is how i want to see you
PleaseDieSara: :-)
PleaseDieSara: i do the same thing
stevielovefish: i always think of my future
stevielovefish: where i want to be what i plan to do
stevielovefish: where will i live
stevielovefish: but i keep thinking of you
stevielovefish: i thought that i want to after college, buy some land and build a house
stevielovefish: we design it, buld it, live in it
stevielovefish: thats scary at 18 thinking about plans with someone
PleaseDieSara: for the last two years i've loved my life more than i ever had and actually started planning a futre. thinking of what school i wanted to go to and stuff. actually started planning it out and always planned it out by myself. there was never any one else involved
PleaseDieSara: but lately
PleaseDieSara: i still want all of it. but i want you to be a part of it
stevielovefish: i want to get out of college as early as possible get a tech. cert in electronics, get a decent job, move out and in with you, and workfull time and finish up my degree part time
stevielovefish: this is a thought i know that i should have enough credits by the end of summer, i just don't know if i have the right classes for it
PleaseDieSara: this summer?
stevielovefish: yes
PleaseDieSara: i thought summer was over
stevielovefish: i have 12 credits now, i will have 24 and the end of this years
stevielovefish: no 30-36 and the end of next semster
stevielovefish: and by the end of sunner 40+
stevielovefish: i can pullof a tech. cert
stevielovefish: the summer coming up
PleaseDieSara: ok
PleaseDieSara: i've just never been so scared before
stevielovefish: i know, me neither
stevielovefish: i don't know ifi can take the hurt if we don't work out
PleaseDieSara: I'm fucking terrified of this. i feel like my idea of my life is being flipped upside down and i'm being shaken out of it
stevielovefish: i feel like my idea of life has been jetted forward 5 years
PleaseDieSara: and what i'm being put into is totally new
stevielovefish: i wanted to get out of college then meet someone, that way i know i could support them
stevielovefish: or us actually
stevielovefish: and now i am scared because i don't know what to do. life given methe greatest curveball ever
PleaseDieSara: all i know right now is that i feel like nothing matters when i'm with you
PleaseDieSara: all this shit i constantly worry about and analyze just doesn't fucking matter
PleaseDieSara: and i'm safe to just be
stevielovefish: its why we stay witheach other till 4-5 in the mornig
stevielovefish: we are all that matter to each other, when im with you i don;t care about work the next morning
stevielovefish: or having tobe in because of this that or the other, i onlywant to be with you
stevielovefish: i have to fight with myself forever tobget myself to leave
PleaseDieSara: heheh
PleaseDieSara: so do i
stevielovefish: :-)
PleaseDieSara: there are times when i used to just fuck around and not care about anything. but i haven't done that in a long time
PleaseDieSara: until recently
PleaseDieSara: I've never been with another person that makes me feel like nothing else matters
PleaseDieSara: I'm not scared of what the consequences are when i'm out all night
PleaseDieSara: or caring about how tired i will be when i didn't get home until three and i have to get up at 9 for work
PleaseDieSara: 3 hours of sleep at night is becoming enough for me
PleaseDieSara: and when i sleep it's always good
PleaseDieSara: I haven't had a nightmare in a month
PleaseDieSara: and i always do
stevielovefish: thats good you sleep well, but don't deprive yourself of anything becuase of me
stevielovefish: i want you to be happy
PleaseDieSara: oh i've survived on less
PleaseDieSara: and i am
PleaseDieSara: sometimes i'm so giddy when i get home that i can't sleep
stevielovefish: lol
stevielovefish: i go to sleep smiling after i see you
stevielovefish: this conversation is making me feel allot better, i was worried that you didn't feel the same, and that i would scare you with this
PleaseDieSara: nope
PleaseDieSara: :-)
stevielovefish: :-)
PleaseDieSara: the other day when i fell asleep at mikes... when i woke up and covered my face it's because i have always felt weird sleeping around people
stevielovefish: you were soooo incredibly cute
PleaseDieSara: when i'm alone with you i'm completely ok... it surpised the hell out of me that i could sleep in the same bed with you the first night because i just don't do that. anyone new i usually lay awake for hours because i feel like i'm being watched when i sleep or something
PleaseDieSara: and when i fell asleep and woke up i reliezed where i was and that i was asleep and stuff and freaked out
PleaseDieSara: at mikes i mean
stevielovefish: :-)
PleaseDieSara: the first night i was ever at crystals she fell asleep at about 2
PleaseDieSara: and i stayed up until daylight
PleaseDieSara: i did it at liz's when i was younger
stevielovefish: say awake, or fall asleep
PleaseDieSara: stayed awake
PleaseDieSara: i've just never felt comfortable sleeping until i was sure everyone else was asleep to.
stevielovefish: well im glad you can sleep with me
stevielovefish: i love sleeping, cuddling, holding, being with you
PleaseDieSara: the only other person i've ever felt comfortable sleeping with was my sister jesca. after stevie died for about a year we couldn't sleep in seperate beds. we had two bedrooms but we always slept in the same bed
stevielovefish: i want tell you 2 things, 1, i can't promise to make you happy, but saying that, i can tell you this, i will try 110% to make you happy as long as we are together, and secondly if you fall for me like i am falling for you, i will be there to catch you.
PleaseDieSara: and with you it's just like everything else has dissapeared, and it was so easy just to let go. i was so comfortable with you.
stevielovefish: im glad, because i am so happy, and carefree when i am with you, the onlything i worry about is if i am making you happy, or showing you good time
PleaseDieSara: your making me happy by just being with me
PleaseDieSara: don't worry about entertaining me
stevielovefish: aight i can live with that
PleaseDieSara: i just want to hold you
PleaseDieSara: be around you
PleaseDieSara: look at you
stevielovefish: smae here
stevielovefish: i wantto be with you
PleaseDieSara: and i'm fine with just that
stevielovefish: i want to just hold you
stevielovefish: lay in bed hold you have you be the last thing i see, and the first thing i see at night, then i know i am having the best day ever
PleaseDieSara: i'm just confused and scared as fuck because i'm not used to this. and i don't want to let myself get used to it. because it's happened so fast and i'm afraid of the fall
stevielovefish: same here but, i willbe here for you, because im falling fast and herd
stevielovefish: who knew something this great could be at fazolis
stevielovefish: :-)
PleaseDieSara: hahaha
PleaseDieSara: who knew something this good would come from working at fazoli's
PleaseDieSara: we owe kuni toyoda big time
stevielovefish: i think dealing with mike makes us almost even
PleaseDieSara: hahaha if we ever got married we should invite him to our wedding
PleaseDieSara: kuni
stevielovefish: yes kuni
stevielovefish: i have a question, for a wedding would you want a huge serimony, or a few friends andfamily,or aloping to the carribean
PleaseDieSara: ummm
PleaseDieSara: i haven't planned to much as far as people go realyl don't care for alot. but i've thought of how i wanted to do it before
PleaseDieSara: it's very weird
stevielovefish: i have always wanted to do my wedding at night on the beach, barefoot
stevielovefish: that would make a nice touch
PleaseDieSara: sounds nice
PleaseDieSara: i'd like to get married during an electrical storm. it'd be hard as hell to plan
PleaseDieSara: but could you imagin if you were outside at night on a beach and there was lighting all over the sky and striking into the water and shit
stevielovefish: just make sure you weren't wearing any metal
PleaseDieSara: yep
PleaseDieSara: it'd be kinda thrilling
PleaseDieSara: but it would be cool as hell
stevielovefish: yes it would
stevielovefish: i want my fluffy
PleaseDieSara: i want you to