(no subject)
just got back from hamburg! been up since 5:30 travelling, so i'm bodyshop-almonded up and ready for a nap. this break has been interesting because its the first time in ages Ive been purposely sleep deprived and happy in a long time, since synergy times, and Berni, Hannah and Kat are so happily geeky and un-self-conscious that I feel more relaxed that I might normally be in the complex web of gossipy who's who that Ive been used to in London pre 2009 post 2006.. IF I was sleep deprived, I mean. but maybe generally too, now I consider it. But it was lovely, bowls of coffee, odd tiled cafe bars with curtains, hanging off balconys, philosophy students, black and white photobooths! sort of like what I imagine 60s paris to be, even had anarchist strongholds and restaurants where you wash up your own dishes when you've finished!
I didn't want to come to London that much when I left Sheffield, but now the idea of going makes me feel homesick. I like my housemates, tom josh and Kate, I like what they have to say and cooking with them and laughing at and dissecting whats on television, but their fun isn't mine, and James is torn. He doesn't do as many drugs as he used to its a lot lot better than at first. He says if I want him to give up ketamine he will do it but I want him to want to do it, himself, and he just doesn't, he wants me, thats why he will. This is better than everything I own! Love. That a person will do something against their individual freedom and choice for my company. I need to treasure that more, but this crisis I don't know how to solve, we just have to trust that we will figure a way. I'm spoilt I think, must stop being dramatic and be grateful! we have 900 dead in Palestine, and I am worrying about...
(Puchada)
The night before last I had a dream that Mimikae from the orphanage called out my name, and I was so touched she remembered it that I woke myself up crying a little bit. Its because baandada sent out a newsletter and they've changed the names of two of the kids, Puchada and Mimikae to Walhawut and Malai?!?!. Its thrown me off, a bit, maybe i'm jealous.
I need to get off the internet, the longer I stay on the more change I will get on the guardian and bushisms.
besssos
I didn't want to come to London that much when I left Sheffield, but now the idea of going makes me feel homesick. I like my housemates, tom josh and Kate, I like what they have to say and cooking with them and laughing at and dissecting whats on television, but their fun isn't mine, and James is torn. He doesn't do as many drugs as he used to its a lot lot better than at first. He says if I want him to give up ketamine he will do it but I want him to want to do it, himself, and he just doesn't, he wants me, thats why he will. This is better than everything I own! Love. That a person will do something against their individual freedom and choice for my company. I need to treasure that more, but this crisis I don't know how to solve, we just have to trust that we will figure a way. I'm spoilt I think, must stop being dramatic and be grateful! we have 900 dead in Palestine, and I am worrying about...
(Puchada)
The night before last I had a dream that Mimikae from the orphanage called out my name, and I was so touched she remembered it that I woke myself up crying a little bit. Its because baandada sent out a newsletter and they've changed the names of two of the kids, Puchada and Mimikae to Walhawut and Malai?!?!. Its thrown me off, a bit, maybe i'm jealous.
I need to get off the internet, the longer I stay on the more change I will get on the guardian and bushisms.
besssos