7。fortitude (1/?)
Fortitude
Joon/Seungho
R ; 2360 w.
feeling you coming around me
you're breaking me down
→ Coming Around - Metro Station
the ugly truth is you can't help who you're attracted to
Seungho lets Changsun peel off his jacket from behind, seemingly but not quite like a revengeful criminal about to prey on its food like how he imagines it be. He feels Changsun's steady breathing at the back of his neck, hands hesitant and daring and it makes his heart ache in the strangest way thinking of how he's been wanting to do this - the exact same thing Changsun is doing to him - all this time but he never really had the audacity to.
“What are you doing?” Seungho asks too quietly, no trace or hint of anger in his voice whatsoever.
Changsun doesn’t reply, because he knows well enough that he's not the only one who wants this.
It should be like a crime scene playing out in his head, Seungho thinks, eyes unaverted as he continuously stares at the city lights of Seoul beneath him and his heart trembles at how this doesn’t feel like a crime scene at all, more like a scene of a victim allowing himself to be hostaged, willing and accepting of the danger that will be brought into his life except there really is no danger when they first meet - not yet, for that matter - but only raw passion and desire awakening in their skin and bones.
It terrifies Seungho because it all feels so right.
Seungho asks himself why it's him in this position when there are many beautiful girls, countless even, who are more than willing to be in his place right this instance. He has the urge of grabbing Changsun's forearm and demand answers, why? why me? but he reminds himself he wants this, let matter take over your mind for once, shut your mouth and don't fucking ruin this, you've been wanting this for so long so he lets Changsun unbutton his white long sleeved polo, slow and careful.
Not being able to know what Changsun is thinking at the moment is too much for him to take, so Seungho puts on a face, turns around and meets Changsun's sharp gaze, makes sure his walls are built strongly around him so he doesn't end up as the fool in the end. His stern expression quickly dissolves and his eyes give it away, searching Changsun's who looks like he wants this bad enough for Seungho to let him in, who looks like he prepared himself to be thrown punches at, who looks sharp and stunning as always. The naked desire in Changsun’s eyes makes Seungho’s walls crumble inevitably, and before he knows it, he’s already moving, guided by his instinct and his heart.
Seungho's hands find their place on Changsun's waist as the latter continues unbuttoning the last few buttons of his shirt. No words need to be exchanged. This is wrong and they both know it. If somebody finds out, they'll be killed in more ways than one. The damage will be uncontrollable, and will inevitably take its toll on others but now they're finally alone, the two of them, in a hotel room in Seoul. The two youngest are sharing a room a floor below them while Byunghee is sharing a room with their manager a few rooms away from them. There's no boisterous laughter, banging doors and Chulyong unceremoniously attacking them out of the blue. The door is locked and they’re completely shut away from the world at the moment. Work is done the day and the night is still young.
They decide they’ll try to make the most out of it.
Changsun leans in, that determined look in his sharp eyes as he rests his palms on Seungho’s shoulders. Seungho grips Changsun’s waist tighter and follows, tilts his face as if to say I'll let you in, I'll let you in because I think you're beautiful and I've been thinking about you about this for quite some time now and I've always wondered what it feels like to kiss you so their heads draw nearer to each others, breathing the same hot air confined between them despite the cold temperature of the room. There's a second wherein they're holding their breath, waiting for the other one to make the first move to selfishly blame the fault to in the future,
but they end up moving at the same time, force against force, praying to whoever is listening out there to make everything go right. They close their eyes, hold their breath and let their lips do the feeling amidst the temporary darkness of their vision. Their lips finally touch and they both stay still for awhile, but then after a moment their chests start to swell and all these unexplainable emotions shoot up in their veins as they both sigh into the kiss, gripping on each other’s clothing. They pull away and open their eyes, searching for each other’s gaze. When their eyes meet, they could both mutually agree on the fact that it’s the most pleasant feeling they’ve felt in a very long time.
They both haven't kissed someone in such a long time and there's an adrenaline boiling in their blood subconsciously thinking of how there's a chance of always being able to do this, feel this sensation, even if it means hiding all the time, being trapped in enclosed spaces and the possibility of getting caught which will result in ruining their career, their everything.
Seungho bravely places his palm on Changsun’s face and thumbs his cheek, in a frustrating state of being in a loss for words to say. Changsun, for once, seems to be the same and it comforts Seungho, making him feel not so much of an idiot. Seungho closes his eyes and leans in for another kiss, soft and tender, and when Chansung sighs softly into the kiss, Seungho thinks that he won’t be able to stop doing this.
Changsun opens his mouth slightly, and before they know it, their tongues are sliding against each other’s, a little too shy at first but a little too needy at the end, a little too wet. When they pull apart, the atmosphere lightens as they both grin and chuckle at how ridiculous they’re being. Still, they can’t find any words to say.
Changsun’s expression hardens as he pulls Seungho’s shirt, leading them towards the bed. Changsun’s back lands on the mattress, Seungho half shirtless on top of him.
“Changsun, I haven’t done this-” Seungho pauses and blurts out endearingly. “I mean, with a guy.”
Changsun blinks softly, licks his lips and wraps his arms around Seungho’s neck. “I guess that makes the two of us.”
They end up kissing not knowing how long it lasts, it could have been fifteen minutes, twenty, twenty five, forty, hell, it could have even been an hour of kissing and kissing, their styled hair destroyed, messed up and sticking in the wrong places, fingers everywhere, red lips bruised as they breath heavily until Changsun climbs on top of Seungho and starts biting his neck, his own white long sleeved polo unbuttoned and hanging off his shoulders.
The atmosphere becomes even heavier when Changsun pushes Seungho’s hair away from his face and looks at him with a deep meaning in his eyes.
“Can I?” Changsun whispers so close and so full that Seungho can feel his hot breath on his skin, Changsun’s sharp eyes boring into his.
At first, Seungho has no idea what Changsun’s talking about until he finally figures it out when Changsun won't stop staring him down with too much need and too much care in his eyes.
“You want… to…?” Seungho's eyes widen as he mutters, breathing anxiously beneath Changsun. He never would have thought of Changsun wanting to have sex with him that way and in all honesty, Seungho never really thought about it either, not so much than the other way around.
Seungho smiles a nervous, hesitant smile, eyes crinkling, “I’ve never done this before.”
Changsun continues pushing Seungho’s hair back away from his face, looking deep in thought, his sharp eyes softening.
“It’s alright if you don’t want to.”
No, no. I do. Seungho mutters in his head and rests his hands on Changsun’s shoulders. It doesn’t matter. I just want you.
"Okay," Seungho barely whispers, looking away, and this becomes a shock to both of them. Changsun looks at him in surprise.
"Yeah?" Changsun asks assuringly, not quite sure if he heard right.
“I’ll fucking kill you though if I can’t move during dance practice tomorrow,” Seungho half jokes and half threatens, scared and nervous and thrilled at the same time. It’s ridiculous, really, how he can’t imagine himself doing this with anybody else, or even doing this for that matter.
It’s then that Seungho realizes that maybe he does have real feelings for Changsun, because never in his life would he let anybody do this to him - only when it comes to Changsun does he give himself away so freely.
Like an idiot. Like a fool, Seungho can't help but remind himself, but at the moment, he couldn’t care any less.
“That,” Changsun smiles mischievously and thumbs Seungho’s lower lip, “I can’t promise.”
Seungho straightens his face, clenches teeth and pushes Changsun on the shoulder, making the younger one laugh.
“Do we even have anything right now?” Seungho asks, suddenly being preoccupied about how much it will probably hurt.
“Um. Oh! I have... lube,” Changsun replies, palming his pockets. “Only… lube.”
Seungho looks at him strangely.
“What?” Changsun’s eyes widen, looking at him defensively.
“So you carry lube around, but you don’t have any condoms,” Seungho retorts with a straight face.
Before Changsun can even open his mouth and start explaining himself, Seungho pulls out a packet of condoms from his back pocket and waves it in front of Changsun’s face, making him cross-eyed.
When Changsun realizes what Seungho is holding in front of him, his face drops, realizing all the possibilities of-, and takes a look at Seungho's face.
Changsun looks away, evidently affected, evidently hurt, his lips quirked in disbelief and disappointment.
"Don't tell me you sleep around," Changsun comments, avoiding Seungho's eyes as he stares down at whatever he could stare at.
Seungho raises his eyebrows, looking taken aback.
“Yah! What do you think of me?” Seungho glares at Changsun and looks away, heat rising to his slightly red tinged cheeks. “Of course I don’t! I just, carry it around just in case. Who knows? I wouldn’t know when... any of you might need one.”
Changsun looks at him.
"And no, I'm not hiding anything from you guys," Seungho adds. "I just bring it just in case."
Changsun’s cold expression quickly dissolves into his usual smirk and Seungho almost laughs at how quick and expressive his mood swings are until Changsun leans down to kiss him again before grabbing the packet of condoms from his fingers and heading down towards his belt buckle.
It all happens too painfully slow and quick at the same time because now Seungho’s holding the back of his knees as Changsun positions himself in his entrance. Changsun guides himself slowly and carefully, watching Seungho's expression change.
Changsun groans when he's finally inside Seungho, a shocking heat circulation all throughout his body as Seungho hisses in pain and breathes out heavily, toes curling and fingers digging into Changsun’s skin.
They stay like this for awhile, Changsun heaving on top of Seungho as he sets a slow, gentle pace until Seungho relaxes his body. Changsun embraces Seungho and kisses him to distract him from the pain, the latter running his fingers through Changsun’s hair and focusing on the kiss, eyes shut tight.
Changsun can tell from the way Seungho’s eyes are shut tight, the knot on his forehead and the way he grips the bed sheets, the way he digs his fingers into his skin that it must be painful for him. In the midst of this, Changsun can’t help but think that he’s beautiful like this and it hurts him how Seungho is allowing him to do this to him. He then realizes how much more attracted he is to Seungho than he always thought he was.
When the knot on Seungho’s forehead loosens when he pulls away from the kiss and he starts making these noises in his throat that shoot up straight to Changsun’s cock does Changsun take the initiative to set a different pace.
“Like this?” Changsun looks at Seungho’s face attentively, tries to notice any sign of discomfort or pleasure as he pushes the back of Seungho’s thighs and thrusts with a slightly faster pace.
“Yes,” Seungho breathes out, shuts his eyes tight and grabs Changsun’s forearms. “Oh,” he breathes out.
Changsun feels too close, all this too much for him to take so he starts thrusting faster, making Seungho grip the bed sheets tighter, bend his long neck and moan into the pillow.
“I’m coming,” Changsun warns Seungho, places his hand on Seungho’s nape, making them look at each other face to face.
Seungho’s eyes are teary from too much pain and pleasure when Changsun rests his forehead on his, their breaths haggard and ragged. Seungho wraps his arms around Changsun’s sweaty back as Changsun rests his palm on Seungho’s head, his fingers treaded between Seungho's hair.
“I’m coming,” Changsun breathes out, shuts his eyes tight and puts his mouth against Seungho’s to kiss him as he gives one final hard thrust.
Changsun comes with stars in his eyes and Seungho’s tongue in his mouth, Seungho’s moan drowning out his as he continues thrusting slowly, gently, letting the waves of pleasure take over his body. Changsun breaks away from the kiss and collapses on top of Seungho, body turning into jelly.
I -, the words don’t leave the back of Changsun’s throat and it’s stuck there, unbearably choking him as he closes his eyes and pants in the crook of Seungho’s neck. Seungho-ah, Seungho-ah, I think may be in love with you.
Seungho closes his eyes and breathes in sync with Changsun's heaving chest right above his, his arms holding him close.
“I’m sorry,” Changsun gingerly wipes the sweat away from Seungho’s forehead and slurs his words before heading down. “Got kinda carried away in the end…”
Seungho’s tired eyes widen as he sits up. “Yah, what are you-”
Changsun takes Seungho’s cock in his mouth, hot and wet, sending a shocking wave of pleasure all throughout Seungho’s body.
Joon/Seungho
R ; 2360 w.
feeling you coming around me
you're breaking me down
→ Coming Around - Metro Station
the ugly truth is you can't help who you're attracted to
Seungho lets Changsun peel off his jacket from behind, seemingly but not quite like a revengeful criminal about to prey on its food like how he imagines it be. He feels Changsun's steady breathing at the back of his neck, hands hesitant and daring and it makes his heart ache in the strangest way thinking of how he's been wanting to do this - the exact same thing Changsun is doing to him - all this time but he never really had the audacity to.
“What are you doing?” Seungho asks too quietly, no trace or hint of anger in his voice whatsoever.
Changsun doesn’t reply, because he knows well enough that he's not the only one who wants this.
It should be like a crime scene playing out in his head, Seungho thinks, eyes unaverted as he continuously stares at the city lights of Seoul beneath him and his heart trembles at how this doesn’t feel like a crime scene at all, more like a scene of a victim allowing himself to be hostaged, willing and accepting of the danger that will be brought into his life except there really is no danger when they first meet - not yet, for that matter - but only raw passion and desire awakening in their skin and bones.
It terrifies Seungho because it all feels so right.
Seungho asks himself why it's him in this position when there are many beautiful girls, countless even, who are more than willing to be in his place right this instance. He has the urge of grabbing Changsun's forearm and demand answers, why? why me? but he reminds himself he wants this, let matter take over your mind for once, shut your mouth and don't fucking ruin this, you've been wanting this for so long so he lets Changsun unbutton his white long sleeved polo, slow and careful.
Not being able to know what Changsun is thinking at the moment is too much for him to take, so Seungho puts on a face, turns around and meets Changsun's sharp gaze, makes sure his walls are built strongly around him so he doesn't end up as the fool in the end. His stern expression quickly dissolves and his eyes give it away, searching Changsun's who looks like he wants this bad enough for Seungho to let him in, who looks like he prepared himself to be thrown punches at, who looks sharp and stunning as always. The naked desire in Changsun’s eyes makes Seungho’s walls crumble inevitably, and before he knows it, he’s already moving, guided by his instinct and his heart.
Seungho's hands find their place on Changsun's waist as the latter continues unbuttoning the last few buttons of his shirt. No words need to be exchanged. This is wrong and they both know it. If somebody finds out, they'll be killed in more ways than one. The damage will be uncontrollable, and will inevitably take its toll on others but now they're finally alone, the two of them, in a hotel room in Seoul. The two youngest are sharing a room a floor below them while Byunghee is sharing a room with their manager a few rooms away from them. There's no boisterous laughter, banging doors and Chulyong unceremoniously attacking them out of the blue. The door is locked and they’re completely shut away from the world at the moment. Work is done the day and the night is still young.
They decide they’ll try to make the most out of it.
Changsun leans in, that determined look in his sharp eyes as he rests his palms on Seungho’s shoulders. Seungho grips Changsun’s waist tighter and follows, tilts his face as if to say I'll let you in, I'll let you in because I think you're beautiful and I've been thinking about you about this for quite some time now and I've always wondered what it feels like to kiss you so their heads draw nearer to each others, breathing the same hot air confined between them despite the cold temperature of the room. There's a second wherein they're holding their breath, waiting for the other one to make the first move to selfishly blame the fault to in the future,
but they end up moving at the same time, force against force, praying to whoever is listening out there to make everything go right. They close their eyes, hold their breath and let their lips do the feeling amidst the temporary darkness of their vision. Their lips finally touch and they both stay still for awhile, but then after a moment their chests start to swell and all these unexplainable emotions shoot up in their veins as they both sigh into the kiss, gripping on each other’s clothing. They pull away and open their eyes, searching for each other’s gaze. When their eyes meet, they could both mutually agree on the fact that it’s the most pleasant feeling they’ve felt in a very long time.
They both haven't kissed someone in such a long time and there's an adrenaline boiling in their blood subconsciously thinking of how there's a chance of always being able to do this, feel this sensation, even if it means hiding all the time, being trapped in enclosed spaces and the possibility of getting caught which will result in ruining their career, their everything.
Seungho bravely places his palm on Changsun’s face and thumbs his cheek, in a frustrating state of being in a loss for words to say. Changsun, for once, seems to be the same and it comforts Seungho, making him feel not so much of an idiot. Seungho closes his eyes and leans in for another kiss, soft and tender, and when Chansung sighs softly into the kiss, Seungho thinks that he won’t be able to stop doing this.
Changsun opens his mouth slightly, and before they know it, their tongues are sliding against each other’s, a little too shy at first but a little too needy at the end, a little too wet. When they pull apart, the atmosphere lightens as they both grin and chuckle at how ridiculous they’re being. Still, they can’t find any words to say.
Changsun’s expression hardens as he pulls Seungho’s shirt, leading them towards the bed. Changsun’s back lands on the mattress, Seungho half shirtless on top of him.
“Changsun, I haven’t done this-” Seungho pauses and blurts out endearingly. “I mean, with a guy.”
Changsun blinks softly, licks his lips and wraps his arms around Seungho’s neck. “I guess that makes the two of us.”
They end up kissing not knowing how long it lasts, it could have been fifteen minutes, twenty, twenty five, forty, hell, it could have even been an hour of kissing and kissing, their styled hair destroyed, messed up and sticking in the wrong places, fingers everywhere, red lips bruised as they breath heavily until Changsun climbs on top of Seungho and starts biting his neck, his own white long sleeved polo unbuttoned and hanging off his shoulders.
The atmosphere becomes even heavier when Changsun pushes Seungho’s hair away from his face and looks at him with a deep meaning in his eyes.
“Can I?” Changsun whispers so close and so full that Seungho can feel his hot breath on his skin, Changsun’s sharp eyes boring into his.
At first, Seungho has no idea what Changsun’s talking about until he finally figures it out when Changsun won't stop staring him down with too much need and too much care in his eyes.
“You want… to…?” Seungho's eyes widen as he mutters, breathing anxiously beneath Changsun. He never would have thought of Changsun wanting to have sex with him that way and in all honesty, Seungho never really thought about it either, not so much than the other way around.
Seungho smiles a nervous, hesitant smile, eyes crinkling, “I’ve never done this before.”
Changsun continues pushing Seungho’s hair back away from his face, looking deep in thought, his sharp eyes softening.
“It’s alright if you don’t want to.”
No, no. I do. Seungho mutters in his head and rests his hands on Changsun’s shoulders. It doesn’t matter. I just want you.
"Okay," Seungho barely whispers, looking away, and this becomes a shock to both of them. Changsun looks at him in surprise.
"Yeah?" Changsun asks assuringly, not quite sure if he heard right.
“I’ll fucking kill you though if I can’t move during dance practice tomorrow,” Seungho half jokes and half threatens, scared and nervous and thrilled at the same time. It’s ridiculous, really, how he can’t imagine himself doing this with anybody else, or even doing this for that matter.
It’s then that Seungho realizes that maybe he does have real feelings for Changsun, because never in his life would he let anybody do this to him - only when it comes to Changsun does he give himself away so freely.
Like an idiot. Like a fool, Seungho can't help but remind himself, but at the moment, he couldn’t care any less.
“That,” Changsun smiles mischievously and thumbs Seungho’s lower lip, “I can’t promise.”
Seungho straightens his face, clenches teeth and pushes Changsun on the shoulder, making the younger one laugh.
“Do we even have anything right now?” Seungho asks, suddenly being preoccupied about how much it will probably hurt.
“Um. Oh! I have... lube,” Changsun replies, palming his pockets. “Only… lube.”
Seungho looks at him strangely.
“What?” Changsun’s eyes widen, looking at him defensively.
“So you carry lube around, but you don’t have any condoms,” Seungho retorts with a straight face.
Before Changsun can even open his mouth and start explaining himself, Seungho pulls out a packet of condoms from his back pocket and waves it in front of Changsun’s face, making him cross-eyed.
When Changsun realizes what Seungho is holding in front of him, his face drops, realizing all the possibilities of-, and takes a look at Seungho's face.
Changsun looks away, evidently affected, evidently hurt, his lips quirked in disbelief and disappointment.
"Don't tell me you sleep around," Changsun comments, avoiding Seungho's eyes as he stares down at whatever he could stare at.
Seungho raises his eyebrows, looking taken aback.
“Yah! What do you think of me?” Seungho glares at Changsun and looks away, heat rising to his slightly red tinged cheeks. “Of course I don’t! I just, carry it around just in case. Who knows? I wouldn’t know when... any of you might need one.”
Changsun looks at him.
"And no, I'm not hiding anything from you guys," Seungho adds. "I just bring it just in case."
Changsun’s cold expression quickly dissolves into his usual smirk and Seungho almost laughs at how quick and expressive his mood swings are until Changsun leans down to kiss him again before grabbing the packet of condoms from his fingers and heading down towards his belt buckle.
It all happens too painfully slow and quick at the same time because now Seungho’s holding the back of his knees as Changsun positions himself in his entrance. Changsun guides himself slowly and carefully, watching Seungho's expression change.
Changsun groans when he's finally inside Seungho, a shocking heat circulation all throughout his body as Seungho hisses in pain and breathes out heavily, toes curling and fingers digging into Changsun’s skin.
They stay like this for awhile, Changsun heaving on top of Seungho as he sets a slow, gentle pace until Seungho relaxes his body. Changsun embraces Seungho and kisses him to distract him from the pain, the latter running his fingers through Changsun’s hair and focusing on the kiss, eyes shut tight.
Changsun can tell from the way Seungho’s eyes are shut tight, the knot on his forehead and the way he grips the bed sheets, the way he digs his fingers into his skin that it must be painful for him. In the midst of this, Changsun can’t help but think that he’s beautiful like this and it hurts him how Seungho is allowing him to do this to him. He then realizes how much more attracted he is to Seungho than he always thought he was.
When the knot on Seungho’s forehead loosens when he pulls away from the kiss and he starts making these noises in his throat that shoot up straight to Changsun’s cock does Changsun take the initiative to set a different pace.
“Like this?” Changsun looks at Seungho’s face attentively, tries to notice any sign of discomfort or pleasure as he pushes the back of Seungho’s thighs and thrusts with a slightly faster pace.
“Yes,” Seungho breathes out, shuts his eyes tight and grabs Changsun’s forearms. “Oh,” he breathes out.
Changsun feels too close, all this too much for him to take so he starts thrusting faster, making Seungho grip the bed sheets tighter, bend his long neck and moan into the pillow.
“I’m coming,” Changsun warns Seungho, places his hand on Seungho’s nape, making them look at each other face to face.
Seungho’s eyes are teary from too much pain and pleasure when Changsun rests his forehead on his, their breaths haggard and ragged. Seungho wraps his arms around Changsun’s sweaty back as Changsun rests his palm on Seungho’s head, his fingers treaded between Seungho's hair.
“I’m coming,” Changsun breathes out, shuts his eyes tight and puts his mouth against Seungho’s to kiss him as he gives one final hard thrust.
Changsun comes with stars in his eyes and Seungho’s tongue in his mouth, Seungho’s moan drowning out his as he continues thrusting slowly, gently, letting the waves of pleasure take over his body. Changsun breaks away from the kiss and collapses on top of Seungho, body turning into jelly.
I -, the words don’t leave the back of Changsun’s throat and it’s stuck there, unbearably choking him as he closes his eyes and pants in the crook of Seungho’s neck. Seungho-ah, Seungho-ah, I think may be in love with you.
Seungho closes his eyes and breathes in sync with Changsun's heaving chest right above his, his arms holding him close.
“I’m sorry,” Changsun gingerly wipes the sweat away from Seungho’s forehead and slurs his words before heading down. “Got kinda carried away in the end…”
Seungho’s tired eyes widen as he sits up. “Yah, what are you-”
Changsun takes Seungho’s cock in his mouth, hot and wet, sending a shocking wave of pleasure all throughout Seungho’s body.