(no subject)
Title: PS, I love you.
Part: 3/?
Rating: 12 - Deals with the aftermath of a death.
Pairing: FletchJones.
Storyline: Based on the book "PS, I love you" by Cecelia Ahern.
Disclaimer: I own Danny. That is all.
Posted in: mcflyslash and mcslash.
Tom’s eyes sprung open as he heard the gentle knock of his bedroom door closing.
“Danny?!” He called frantically, launching himself from his pillow, his blurry gaze zooming to the door. It remained closed, but outside he could hear hurried footsteps making their way down the stairs.
He swung his legs over the side of the bed, pushing he covers off his still fully clothed formed and rushed to the door. Despite the dizzy feeling trying to take over his body, he pulled the door open and called Danny’s name again.
“Erm, no…” A voice barely stuttered back from downstairs, returning his call, but with no appearance of the owner. “Just me. I. I made you tea.”
Tom rubbed his sweaty hands over his face in embarrassment, immediately going back inside his room and closing the door quickly. Wishing that hadn’t happened. He leant back against the door as blood rushed to his head, causing a horrible nauseous feeling in his stomach that was bound to happen after the rush. His eyes wondered to his bedside table and, sure enough, there was his mug placed on a coaster. It wasn’t a wonder that Dougie had rushed down the stairs, probably aware that Tom would react in this way.
He felt his way along the wall, supporting himself as he made his way back to his bed. Scattered across the bed were the envelopes and letters. All were a little crumpled as Tom had spent most of the night just reading the letter and names of the months over and over, but not opening any of them. He wouldn’t break what Danny had asked him to do. Lowering his body to sit back on the bed, Tom sighed. A long sigh. His hands rubbed over his temples as he brought himself back round to reality again. This had almost become a daily ritual.
He’d had the most wonderful dream that night which, of course, involved Danny. It was a reoccurring dream that kept creeping into his sub-conscious every night. Tom had always had a vision, a dream, other than breaking into the music business, which he’d always wanted to fulfil. Ever since Danny had mentioned it.
“Morning, beautiful.” Danny emitted in a gruff whisper, his voice croaky after eight or so hours sleep. He slid his arms around Tom’s waist, who was stood at the bathroom mirror, examining the heavy bags under his eyelids.
“Not now, Danny.” Tom stated. His expression was groggy as he spoke to Danny’s reflection in the mirror. “I’m too tired.” He wriggled slightly, politely trying to shake Danny off but he was having none of it and kept a firm grip on the grumpy blonde.
“Skip work. Let’s go back to bed and sleep all day.” Danny whispered in his ear, between the kisses he was pressing to it. “We’ll relax, I’ll make you breakfast in bed, you don’t have to move a muscle.”
Tom leant his head back against Danny’s shoulder, releasing a long and annoyed sigh into the cold atmosphere of the bathroom.
“Baby,” Tom started quietly. “I would love to, but I can’t. Besides, you have to go to work, too. We really need the money at the moment, seeing as Dougie only works part-time because of college.”
“I’ll call in sick, too.” Danny mumbled, flicking Tom’s earlobe with the tip of his tongue. “Come on, Tom, you know you want to.” His hands stroked down to Tom’s lower abdomen, pressing himself up against his back.
Tom groaned, as his gaze dropped to watch where Danny’s hands were travelling. They moved from his abdomen, down over the front of his hips and then back up.
“God. I. I really don’t want to go. I hate work. I.” Tom muttered, mind fixed on the movement of Danny’s hands.
“When we have enough money, I’ll take us away from here. We’ll go somewhere warm, with beaches that go on for miles and miles. Not too far away, but far enough so we can join the Mile High club.” Danny grinned, watching Tom squirm in his grip. His hands slowly edged closer to the area Tom wanted them to. “Spain, perhaps?”
“Yes! Yes, Spain is good.” Tom spoke quickly, almost standing on his tip toes to make Danny’s hands move further down.
“We’ll laze on the beach everyday.” Danny began. He paused as he let Tom emit a moan as his hands brushed over his crotch. “We’ll do nothing but sip cold beer, listen to the waves, occasionally massage sun cream over each of our bodies.” His fingers began to act out that motion, causing Tom to groan loudly and not be able to form a reply. Danny smirked, licking the side of Tom’s neck as his eyes watched his boyfriend’s reflection in the mirror. “And then, at night, we’ll fall asleep on the beach, with nothing but the sand and one another to keep ourselves warm. I’ll be there, holding you so tightly in my arms the whole time, reminding you how wonderful you are and how much I love you. You’ll have your head on my chest, falling asleep to the sound of the waves and as I stroke down your arms, like you love so much. Just you and I, with no one around for miles. Just you and I.”
Tom felt a tear roll down his cheek and he snapped back into present time.
Last night’s dream had consisted of what Danny had described. They never managed to gather enough money together to go on that break. It had been Tom’s motivation to go to work everyday and put up with the horrid customers and staff members. Danny had been his motivation to get through each day.
He looked to the clock. 18.32! Another day engulfed by his memories and thoughts, that seemed to be his new motivation for getting through each day. Underneath the time on his clock read the date - 27th July. His head turned to look back to the envelopes spread over the duvet. One, he remembered, read “July” and he scanned for it. Tom felt his stomach bubble as he picked it up in his hands. This was the beginning. The beginning of what, he wasn’t sure, but a wave of relief, almost, washed over him. His body felt calm and light as he held this envelope in his hands, his thumbs tracing over the pen lines. This was a part of Danny he was holding in his hands and all thoughts of sadness left his body for a moment. It were as if he were there with him, next to him on the bed, watching over him and waiting for his reaction.
Tom looked to the empty space on the bed next to him, imagining Danny sat beside him with his usual grin plastered on his face.
“Go on!” He would have heard Danny say in his thick Bolton accent. “Open it!”
Tom’s faced ached, desperate to fight off a smile that wanted to spread across it. This moment felt so strange, yet calming. Danny really was here beside him.
His gazed moved from his side and to his hands, just before something caught his eye - his mug of cold tea. Dougie. Danny wanted Dougie to be involved in this and, deep down, Tom really needed someone there with him, despite the fact he would hastily deny that if asked. He sighed again, rubbing his hands over his face. He knew what he had to do.
Meanwhile, downstairs, Dougie was sprawled along the sofa. The television was humming some evening soap in the background, but he wasn’t watching. It was only on to keep him company, fill a space of noise that usually buzzed through the small house. Some couple were fighting like cat and dog on the screen, shouting about some affair that one or the other had committed.
“Fuck’s sake.” Dougie muttered under his breath, rolling his eyes at the stupidity of it all and reaching for the remote to switch the television off. The room fell dark as the only source of light vanished and silence flooded the small area. Dougie inhaled deeply, running out of menial things to do to stop himself from digging into his own thoughts. Time for yet another cup of tea.
He groaned as he pushed himself up from the sofa, yawning and stretching after spending a good few hours moulding himself into that position. His back clicked as he stood on his feet, shaking himself out before plodding over to the door leading to the hallway, opening it slowly. The unexpected light from the kitchen blinded him temporarily. As he regained focus, he could see Tom sat at the table, looking down to him with his usual emotionless stare.
“Tom!” Dougie’s voice squeaked in surprise. “I.. wasn’t expecting to see you there.”
“I want you to be here to open the envelope with me.” Tom declared straight away, pausing for a moment to let his head catch up with what his lips were blurting. His hands were leant on the table, his fingers flicking nervously at the envelope. “Danny wanted to involve you.” Which sounded a lot harsher than intended. “And so do I… of course. I know I’ve been a bastard lately. I haven’t wanted anyone around me, not even my mum. I don’t mean to be like that. It’s just so incredibly… terribly hard. And I’m not saying that you don’t find it hard either! I… you just seem to handling things, keeping on the straight and narrow. I feel like I’m on the… bent and fat…” Dougie gave a small smile, realising that Tom was beginning to ramble. So did Tom, as he let out a drawn out sigh.
“I know how hard it is for you, Tom. I know I haven’t ever been through what you are, but… I lost a best friend, too.” He paused as Tom’s posture visibly diminished into a slump. His face wobbling as he listened to Dougie. “If it helps…” Dougie continued quietly, slowly making his way over to the other side of the table to perch on a seat opposite Tom. “… I’m really not keeping it together. I’m on the bent and fat too! I just have a fucking great talent of being able to bottle it up. You’re so lucky to be able to let it out the way you do. I’ve only cried once!” He felt his cheeks burning red, as he shamefully looked to the table cloth. “I’d do anything to… be able to let it out like you do.”
“It really doesn’t help.” Tom shrugged, continuing to fiddle with the envelope intently. “It feels like I cry every damn second of the day and, believe me, once you start, it’s incredibly hard to stop. All this time I’ve wanted to be like you. Heh.”
“Maybe if we work together, we'll figure this out then?” Dougie smiled comfortingly, looking directly to Tom and having his eye contact returned for once.
“I’m really sorry, Dougie. I really am.” Tom said, meekly. Dougie waved his hands dismissively, gesturing that it didn’t matter. “That’s why I want to involve you in this. Will you sit with me while I read the letter?”
“Of course.” Dougie stated firmly. He took a deep breath as he looked down to the envelope. “Go on then, Dan, what have you got to say for yourself?”
Tom cleared his throat in preparation. He turned the envelope over and slide his thumb underneath the flap, breaking the seal all the way along carefully. Inside was a small piece of paper, folded once, and Tom pulled it out slowly. He carefully placed the envelope on the table and unfolded the piece of paper, all the while Dougie was watching his every movement intently.
“Dear Tom,” Tom began to read. “Dreams are something everyone has but in reality, they’re hard to make come true. I don’t want to see you become one of those people who is forever wishing they did something about their dreams when they were younger, when it‘s too late. I believe you can do it, Tom. You’ve got the talent and the determination, which is something I really love about you.” Tom paused, swallowing hard. Dougie reached his hand across the table, gingerly, patting the top of Tom’s hand that had settled on the table. He looked away from the letter and flipped his hand over shakily, wrapping his fingers around Dougie’s and squeezing tightly, before continuing. It was such a comfort to have each other there for one another at last. “I’ve booked a spot for you for the talent night at Aqua for the 31st July. I know you can do this, Tom, and you‘ll hear from me the next day in your August letter.” His eyes trailed down to the bottom of the page. “P.S. I love you.”
Tom’s eyes shot up to Dougie’s immediately. Silence filled the room for a few moments as the both stared at one another. Allowing Danny’s words to sink in.
“I can’t do it…” Tom whispered.
“But Tom…”
“No!” Tom propelled himself from his seat, clutching hold of the letter, with tears rolling freely. “I can’t go through with this! I never told Danny, but. The reason I never did anything like this before is because… because I’m shit scared of going anywhere near a stage. I hate the thought of everyone watching me and I’ll fuck up and I’m really not that good and-”
“Tom!” Dougie shouted to stop his rambling, pushing himself off of his chair to stand in front of him. He gripped hold of his shoulders and looked directly at him. “This means a lot to Danny, you have to do this! Are you willing to break this whole thing on the first envelope? You promised Danny you’d go through with this, and it’s so important to him. You have to be strong and have some self confidence, Tom! Why would he have gone to all of this trouble if he didn’t believe that you could do it? He said himself that he believes in you. And so do I! We both believe in you and will be there through it all. Every step. You can do this, Tom…” Dougie hardly noticed the tears dripping down his cheeks.
Tom stood speechless, silently watching Dougie’s tears. Without realising, Dougie heard himself sobbing and stood shaking for a few moments, before feeling two arms wrap themselves around him. Tom slowly pulled Dougie closer, tightening his grip around the younger boy as he felt him shivering against him. Dougie’s loose arms slid around Tom’s waist and both stood there for a good few minutes, not saying a word, only crying together.
Over Dougie’s shoulder, Tom looked down to the letter clutched in his hand. Danny really did believe he could do this. He couldn’t let him down. Dougie either. He knew what he had to do.