Nightmares
That wall.
That damn wall haunts my every thought.
You would think by now the urge would go away.
Like the cutting.
But it just keeps laughing at me.
Because it knows.
It knows I wont do it.
I think about it.
A lot.
I think about how fast I should be going, exactly what angle to hit it on, whether or not I would have my seatbelt on.
But it knows I wont do it.
And maybe thats why I have to stare at it.
Because its there.
And its not going away no matter how much I hate it.
Then its poles and trees.
And buildings.
Whole buildings.
I'm just waiting for the day when I stop fighting myself over this and just let myself go.
Its like a stupid nightmare.
You just dont know.
That damn wall haunts my every thought.
You would think by now the urge would go away.
Like the cutting.
But it just keeps laughing at me.
Because it knows.
It knows I wont do it.
I think about it.
A lot.
I think about how fast I should be going, exactly what angle to hit it on, whether or not I would have my seatbelt on.
But it knows I wont do it.
And maybe thats why I have to stare at it.
Because its there.
And its not going away no matter how much I hate it.
Then its poles and trees.
And buildings.
Whole buildings.
I'm just waiting for the day when I stop fighting myself over this and just let myself go.
Its like a stupid nightmare.
You just dont know.