taken from carolyn's journal
Fifteen Reasons to Eat Meat
©2001 by Mark Sutton - vegetus@pobox.com
1. My parents fed me dead animals N years ago and they obviously knew what
was good for me, just like the plastic white bread, red dye, DDT, and
cigarettes.
2. McDonald's, Burger King, and Wendy's, have all done exhaustive
nutritional research on diet in their extensive efforts to produce the most
nutritious, healthy, and low fat food in the known space-time continuum at
the lowest price possible for people everywhere. They pay well and only
hire people who are so strong as to not need health insurance paid by the
company they work full-time for.
3. It's obvious that drinking the bodily fluids of female bovines that are
used to fatten up young calves is extremely healthy for adult human beings
of
another species entirely.
4. The slaughter of 4 billion animals per year globally for food is okay,
just like terrorism, as long as it isn't in my backyard.
5. All those studies of human diet for decades in China that clearly show a
vegetarian diet is the healthiest were obviously sponsored by organizations
that are only interested in telling us what to do, and don't care about the
freedom to enjoy that which can kill you if used improperly, but it's my
option and my right as an American to do what feels, tastes, smells, is seen
as, and is heard as gud. Real gud.
6. You mean you don't like ground up dead cows grilled and put on a
whole-wheat bun slathered with high fructose syrup tomato sauce, ground up
mustard seed sauce, onions, and sliced vinegared & garliced sugared
yellow-dyed cucumbers?
7. The millions of tons of livestock excrement and urine dumped into our
ecosystem will produce, through the laws of evolution, even stronger plants,
animals, and humans. Nature likes a challenge, and the decreased clean
water, lesser productive soil, and more unbreathable air will just make all
living things tougher through Natural Selection. No problemo.
8. The FDA has a great track record for knowing what's good for us: at
least
50% of the drugs they approve don't have any unforeseen side effects.
(note:
real stat)
9. Fermented/congealed cow and goat fluid discharges, rotting chunks of
pig,
decaying slabs of cow, and often infected pieces of chicken anatomy are so
good for you, we need the USDA to spend millions of our tax dollars every
year promoting their consumption, and warn you that you need to cook 'em at
high temperatures to kill any bad microorganisms in them that the USDA
doesn't have the resources to check for, that slaughterhouses don't check
for, and that can kill you and currently make hundreds of thousands of
people
sick every year. If vegetables were so important we'd spend more than a
million dollars a year promoting them (note: that's a real stat).
10. Just look at the numbers of doctors and nutritionists, as well as
television commercials, advocating eating at least 4 to 5 servings of meat
every day. They couldn't do that if it weren't true and they weren't paid
enough.
11. Eating meat is like driving an SUV (substitute "smaller car" for
"plant-based food sources"): it's more dangerous than plant-based food
sources, uses up more natural resources than plant-based food sources, puts
out more greenhouse gas pollution than plant-based food sources (potentially
endangering all life on this planet), promotes environmental degradation,
and
is a symbol of my God-given freedom in this greatest country in the world to
do whatever I want to whatever I want as long as I don't do the killing
unless it's the right season in the right place.
12. There was this guy in North Dakota who ate nothing but meat all his
life, smoked, and drank like a fish. With enough practice, we can do the
same. It's "no pain no gain." Genetics, schmetics....
13. Bringing home a big chunk of cutup dead cow muscles, a bird's cut-up
chest flesh, or ground-up pig organs stuffed into intestinal sacs, and
cooking the hell outta them for my family, is one of the greatest joys and
freedoms in the world, and demostrates how much I love my husband/wife and
children, and want them to be healthy and live happy productive disease-free
long lives. God Bless Us All.
14. Ain't nuthin' like clarified bovine fluid fried dead chicken embryos
with pig fat fried stripped slices of pig flesh on the side, and a steaming
cup of coffee bean juice with female cow lactations and a buncha refined
sugar to getcha ready for a cold winter day at the office. All part of
balanced meal.
15. It tastes gud. Real gud.
©2001 by Mark Sutton - vegetus@pobox.com
1. My parents fed me dead animals N years ago and they obviously knew what
was good for me, just like the plastic white bread, red dye, DDT, and
cigarettes.
2. McDonald's, Burger King, and Wendy's, have all done exhaustive
nutritional research on diet in their extensive efforts to produce the most
nutritious, healthy, and low fat food in the known space-time continuum at
the lowest price possible for people everywhere. They pay well and only
hire people who are so strong as to not need health insurance paid by the
company they work full-time for.
3. It's obvious that drinking the bodily fluids of female bovines that are
used to fatten up young calves is extremely healthy for adult human beings
of
another species entirely.
4. The slaughter of 4 billion animals per year globally for food is okay,
just like terrorism, as long as it isn't in my backyard.
5. All those studies of human diet for decades in China that clearly show a
vegetarian diet is the healthiest were obviously sponsored by organizations
that are only interested in telling us what to do, and don't care about the
freedom to enjoy that which can kill you if used improperly, but it's my
option and my right as an American to do what feels, tastes, smells, is seen
as, and is heard as gud. Real gud.
6. You mean you don't like ground up dead cows grilled and put on a
whole-wheat bun slathered with high fructose syrup tomato sauce, ground up
mustard seed sauce, onions, and sliced vinegared & garliced sugared
yellow-dyed cucumbers?
7. The millions of tons of livestock excrement and urine dumped into our
ecosystem will produce, through the laws of evolution, even stronger plants,
animals, and humans. Nature likes a challenge, and the decreased clean
water, lesser productive soil, and more unbreathable air will just make all
living things tougher through Natural Selection. No problemo.
8. The FDA has a great track record for knowing what's good for us: at
least
50% of the drugs they approve don't have any unforeseen side effects.
(note:
real stat)
9. Fermented/congealed cow and goat fluid discharges, rotting chunks of
pig,
decaying slabs of cow, and often infected pieces of chicken anatomy are so
good for you, we need the USDA to spend millions of our tax dollars every
year promoting their consumption, and warn you that you need to cook 'em at
high temperatures to kill any bad microorganisms in them that the USDA
doesn't have the resources to check for, that slaughterhouses don't check
for, and that can kill you and currently make hundreds of thousands of
people
sick every year. If vegetables were so important we'd spend more than a
million dollars a year promoting them (note: that's a real stat).
10. Just look at the numbers of doctors and nutritionists, as well as
television commercials, advocating eating at least 4 to 5 servings of meat
every day. They couldn't do that if it weren't true and they weren't paid
enough.
11. Eating meat is like driving an SUV (substitute "smaller car" for
"plant-based food sources"): it's more dangerous than plant-based food
sources, uses up more natural resources than plant-based food sources, puts
out more greenhouse gas pollution than plant-based food sources (potentially
endangering all life on this planet), promotes environmental degradation,
and
is a symbol of my God-given freedom in this greatest country in the world to
do whatever I want to whatever I want as long as I don't do the killing
unless it's the right season in the right place.
12. There was this guy in North Dakota who ate nothing but meat all his
life, smoked, and drank like a fish. With enough practice, we can do the
same. It's "no pain no gain." Genetics, schmetics....
13. Bringing home a big chunk of cutup dead cow muscles, a bird's cut-up
chest flesh, or ground-up pig organs stuffed into intestinal sacs, and
cooking the hell outta them for my family, is one of the greatest joys and
freedoms in the world, and demostrates how much I love my husband/wife and
children, and want them to be healthy and live happy productive disease-free
long lives. God Bless Us All.
14. Ain't nuthin' like clarified bovine fluid fried dead chicken embryos
with pig fat fried stripped slices of pig flesh on the side, and a steaming
cup of coffee bean juice with female cow lactations and a buncha refined
sugar to getcha ready for a cold winter day at the office. All part of
balanced meal.
15. It tastes gud. Real gud.