(no subject)
i feel useless and stupid.
that is what i concluded after folding clothing for four hours today
useless/stupid.
i have not accomplished anything in my life and the only reason why that could happen is because i am
stupid
the only consequence that comes from this is that i am
useless.
therefore i am useless and stupid.
i think it's time to get a new job. i mean superstore is great hours and all, but i really want to work somewhere that i could meet new people and possibly have more human interaction.
i mean, someplace down academy or corydon is BOUND to be looking for someone...
who knows... i just want to serve people, not have to be rushed ALL the time like i was at dairy queen... like have the choice of being able to have light conversation... and dealing with rude customers is part of it... sighs...
we'll seeeeee... i can think of three places right now [baked expectation, academy bar and eatery... well places like that... but i bet they are really hard to get a job at...] i saw matthew today working... he's like "yea it's a job"... i am glad i at least somewhat helped him... at least i know his rents are happy...
so i guess i will just have to continue to work at SS until i can get somewhere new...
mim wrote about her childhood... and said it was wonderful... and i must agree, I LOVED BEING A CHILD...
running free at the cabin with my cousins... my grandpa... Avoe, may he party in heaven...
when me and my brother felt truly comfortable around eachother...
running naked outside and swimming all day long in the lake and when i would fall asleep at night i would feel like i was still getting pushed around by waves...
manitoba jumbo... playing in it, making sculptures, masks and... rubing all over my body, waiting for it to dry and trying to wash it off in the lake...
loosing my running shoes in mud holes... only to find them the next summer when i am in that same mudhole again... but they were somewhat disentegrated...
my house in linden woods... crying over a bunny who had been abandonned, my friend sean nixon... who would chase after me when i got mad at him and started to cry and wouldn't let me go until we were friends again...
skinned knees from jumping off the roof of my moms car, right after she told me not to go on the roof of her car... and then going up to be casually [holding back the pain] and telling her i fell when i was walking over there...
when the storm sewer got plugged in front of our house, we would wade in the mini-lake formed there, even when i had an ear infection.
mini soccer and going to the zoo with chicken pox... remembering when i could use the small door to get into the bulidings and when the animals looked larger than life... and the scary fish...
going to mexico and spending the whole day in the water... playing... in teh water, because no one else would...
i could go on and on...
today i had a REALLYshitty day.
then i went to work, which made it worse.
then i rushed after work to go to academy bar and eatery to watch devon bate sing/preform/guitarrrrr...
and i must say. it was amazing, i am just sad jes coves didn't attend, but for understandable reasons.
then staying [after all the SJRians left] to watch josh peters and rachel ____ preform... who were also quite considerable swell... actually i really liked them...
and the guy they were will played a rubber band with a barrell as a bass... IT ROCKED.
so yea... i think i am going to try to attend at least one show a week, and so far i have suceeded.
which means i will need to work more... but yea...
i saw georgia, who has moved out and quit school [i am seriously concerned for her... like no tomorrow, but it feels like i have no way to help her... but maybe this is something she needs to find out for herself... also her mom is rad so i think she wont slip too badly]
and also saw lauren wilton who looked absolutely gorgeous... i couldn't believe it actually, i mean the sjr buzz was that she was "folky" but i mean... she was just so creatively dressed and beautiful... wow. i don't think she was as happy to see me, but owell...
i met michealen... this girl who zach also knows... she also plays water polo and i had seen her at the pool alot, and now i can actually say hi and stuff if i see ehr again...
and then ethan... and of course devon... and some other people who i recognized but didn't actually know...
yea... i have no idea why i am going into so much detail, but i was just really happy to see people i hadn't seen in some time...
but i vow to keep in touch with georgia, even if it's just "i'll see u then" kinda things...
anyways... i have tons of homework this weekend, and tons to do so maybe i should sleep.
i want to get CDs so badly, but i am pretty much broke.
that is what i concluded after folding clothing for four hours today
useless/stupid.
i have not accomplished anything in my life and the only reason why that could happen is because i am
stupid
the only consequence that comes from this is that i am
useless.
therefore i am useless and stupid.
i think it's time to get a new job. i mean superstore is great hours and all, but i really want to work somewhere that i could meet new people and possibly have more human interaction.
i mean, someplace down academy or corydon is BOUND to be looking for someone...
who knows... i just want to serve people, not have to be rushed ALL the time like i was at dairy queen... like have the choice of being able to have light conversation... and dealing with rude customers is part of it... sighs...
we'll seeeeee... i can think of three places right now [baked expectation, academy bar and eatery... well places like that... but i bet they are really hard to get a job at...] i saw matthew today working... he's like "yea it's a job"... i am glad i at least somewhat helped him... at least i know his rents are happy...
so i guess i will just have to continue to work at SS until i can get somewhere new...
mim wrote about her childhood... and said it was wonderful... and i must agree, I LOVED BEING A CHILD...
running free at the cabin with my cousins... my grandpa... Avoe, may he party in heaven...
when me and my brother felt truly comfortable around eachother...
running naked outside and swimming all day long in the lake and when i would fall asleep at night i would feel like i was still getting pushed around by waves...
manitoba jumbo... playing in it, making sculptures, masks and... rubing all over my body, waiting for it to dry and trying to wash it off in the lake...
loosing my running shoes in mud holes... only to find them the next summer when i am in that same mudhole again... but they were somewhat disentegrated...
my house in linden woods... crying over a bunny who had been abandonned, my friend sean nixon... who would chase after me when i got mad at him and started to cry and wouldn't let me go until we were friends again...
skinned knees from jumping off the roof of my moms car, right after she told me not to go on the roof of her car... and then going up to be casually [holding back the pain] and telling her i fell when i was walking over there...
when the storm sewer got plugged in front of our house, we would wade in the mini-lake formed there, even when i had an ear infection.
mini soccer and going to the zoo with chicken pox... remembering when i could use the small door to get into the bulidings and when the animals looked larger than life... and the scary fish...
going to mexico and spending the whole day in the water... playing... in teh water, because no one else would...
i could go on and on...
today i had a REALLYshitty day.
then i went to work, which made it worse.
then i rushed after work to go to academy bar and eatery to watch devon bate sing/preform/guitarrrrr...
and i must say. it was amazing, i am just sad jes coves didn't attend, but for understandable reasons.
then staying [after all the SJRians left] to watch josh peters and rachel ____ preform... who were also quite considerable swell... actually i really liked them...
and the guy they were will played a rubber band with a barrell as a bass... IT ROCKED.
so yea... i think i am going to try to attend at least one show a week, and so far i have suceeded.
which means i will need to work more... but yea...
i saw georgia, who has moved out and quit school [i am seriously concerned for her... like no tomorrow, but it feels like i have no way to help her... but maybe this is something she needs to find out for herself... also her mom is rad so i think she wont slip too badly]
and also saw lauren wilton who looked absolutely gorgeous... i couldn't believe it actually, i mean the sjr buzz was that she was "folky" but i mean... she was just so creatively dressed and beautiful... wow. i don't think she was as happy to see me, but owell...
i met michealen... this girl who zach also knows... she also plays water polo and i had seen her at the pool alot, and now i can actually say hi and stuff if i see ehr again...
and then ethan... and of course devon... and some other people who i recognized but didn't actually know...
yea... i have no idea why i am going into so much detail, but i was just really happy to see people i hadn't seen in some time...
but i vow to keep in touch with georgia, even if it's just "i'll see u then" kinda things...
anyways... i have tons of homework this weekend, and tons to do so maybe i should sleep.
i want to get CDs so badly, but i am pretty much broke.