Muddy Footprints
Lets se, nothing too wierd goin on right now. i am managing to continue to pay all the bills, and OH YEAH!! i gots a PHONE!! its been about five months so far without one, and really i havent missed it much. AND like the second day i got it one of my internet furcadia friends called me. a female. while my wife is sitting next to me. i barely got away with that one. shit. anyways, i wasnt very talkative at the time, as some of you might imagine, so i gots to email and apologize for that, and explain why. lets see, i still hate chicken, and i ben playing Neverwinter Nights a lot recently. Wifes still making my life hell. its a miracle i havent snapped yet. Thats my way of knowing there has to be a God. i mean. i am sure i shoulda done cracked and flew over the edge long ago, but i am graced with Willpower. lots and lots of willpower. lots. i am sure this whoel relationship has damaged my relationship skills and emotions though. i probably just need to be alone now, like, forever. at least long enough to forget the hate i feel. they say to keep everything inside is bad, you know, like it has to come out. i disagree, i think i can just forget it even existed. move on with my life you know. but i gaurentee i will be careful where i tread in the future with relationships. they are tricky. its always great at first, so much to learn about the partner, but things always change. thats something that never changes: things 'always' change. but you know, maybe its me? i dunno. maybe im not .. material? like relationship material. hell, i dunno. i just keep pushing forward, there has to be a silver lining here somewhere, doesnt there?