Graduation, the Real World, and Freedom
December 2011. I finally graduated. I have never been so amazed at myself. I turned 31 in March. It took me 3 years after the military to finish this feat. It took me 12 years after high school. I majored in Computer Science and it was fairly difficult for someone with minimal experience with technology and quite a bit of age compared to her classmates. I never failed a course, though I came close a couple of times. Good fucking job, Self. Good fucking job.
I also interviewed for several jobs that semester. I wasn't half bad and received a couple offers and a couple of final interviews before deciding that Jess and I should go to California. I was screaming to get out of Augusta and it was a somewhat difficult choice to move westward. I would be leaving my family and friends behind again and opting NOT to go to Atlanta. I was near closing a job offer in Atlanta with Verizon, but I wanted to stay within a Microsoft environment and I wanted Jess to have her West Coast back.
She traveled from Washington to be with me and she stuck it out in the South through thick and thin. She's the most loyal, kindest, and genuine Person I have ever known in my life--and I've met quite a few people in my life. I'm glad she stuck it out, she really disliked the South, though I think she wouldn't have mind Atlanta had I chose it.
I miss my family. I wish they could go where I go. My friends, well, they are scarce these days. Jess is my best friend and the only person besides my family I truly trust and can rely on. I don't think that will ever change.
Anyways, the job I have is a pretty sweet deal. My boss is relaxed and my projects are great. The people are super friendly in the company and so are the people in this city.
I am happy. Yes. This is the happiest I have ever been in my life. I occasionally get the monthly depression, but it's less each time. This is the most sober I've been in my adulthood and the most stable, both financially and emotionally. Every year that I get older, I see more clearly. I'm a bit more jaded in some areas of my life though. For instance, I'm a little grumpy towards the pre-teens and young adults.
In January, I was given the choice to leave the military honorably. I did four years active duty Air Force and four years Air National Guard. That was also a tough decision because the military had been a part of my life for so long. But it was also a thorn in my side and shackles around my wrist. I belonged to the government. I had an obligation to them and being of the free spirited nature I always resented putting those shackles on me.
There was much good that came of it. I received plenty of money for school. Enough that I didn't have to work or take out loans. In fact, I ended up saving a substantial amount. You'd be surprised at how much. If I was more frugal . . . well, nevermind, I feel so very fortunate.
Now I'm free. This freedom from the military is part of why I'm the happiest I ever been.
Jess and I are talking about the future. My wonderful partner in life, ever so patient with me and my faults. I'm not as patient with hers, but she knows how to deal with me. I've never felt a true "forever". I love and respect her so much. I've been in love before. A different kind of love. A very passionate, torrential love that I will never and do not want to experience again. My love for Jess is different. It's the kind that I have always yearned for and I always knew deep down that her and I made the most sense. I'm glad she waited for me all those years.
The next steps will be here in the coming years. I'm excited. Hopeful. So many people I know are having children. I yearn so deeply for one. I also, still want to travel to some other country. But having a baby, well, I would want to be close to my family and friends. I'm a bit torn. I know it'll happen soon. I can't stop the yearning.
I also interviewed for several jobs that semester. I wasn't half bad and received a couple offers and a couple of final interviews before deciding that Jess and I should go to California. I was screaming to get out of Augusta and it was a somewhat difficult choice to move westward. I would be leaving my family and friends behind again and opting NOT to go to Atlanta. I was near closing a job offer in Atlanta with Verizon, but I wanted to stay within a Microsoft environment and I wanted Jess to have her West Coast back.
She traveled from Washington to be with me and she stuck it out in the South through thick and thin. She's the most loyal, kindest, and genuine Person I have ever known in my life--and I've met quite a few people in my life. I'm glad she stuck it out, she really disliked the South, though I think she wouldn't have mind Atlanta had I chose it.
I miss my family. I wish they could go where I go. My friends, well, they are scarce these days. Jess is my best friend and the only person besides my family I truly trust and can rely on. I don't think that will ever change.
Anyways, the job I have is a pretty sweet deal. My boss is relaxed and my projects are great. The people are super friendly in the company and so are the people in this city.
I am happy. Yes. This is the happiest I have ever been in my life. I occasionally get the monthly depression, but it's less each time. This is the most sober I've been in my adulthood and the most stable, both financially and emotionally. Every year that I get older, I see more clearly. I'm a bit more jaded in some areas of my life though. For instance, I'm a little grumpy towards the pre-teens and young adults.
In January, I was given the choice to leave the military honorably. I did four years active duty Air Force and four years Air National Guard. That was also a tough decision because the military had been a part of my life for so long. But it was also a thorn in my side and shackles around my wrist. I belonged to the government. I had an obligation to them and being of the free spirited nature I always resented putting those shackles on me.
There was much good that came of it. I received plenty of money for school. Enough that I didn't have to work or take out loans. In fact, I ended up saving a substantial amount. You'd be surprised at how much. If I was more frugal . . . well, nevermind, I feel so very fortunate.
Now I'm free. This freedom from the military is part of why I'm the happiest I ever been.
Jess and I are talking about the future. My wonderful partner in life, ever so patient with me and my faults. I'm not as patient with hers, but she knows how to deal with me. I've never felt a true "forever". I love and respect her so much. I've been in love before. A different kind of love. A very passionate, torrential love that I will never and do not want to experience again. My love for Jess is different. It's the kind that I have always yearned for and I always knew deep down that her and I made the most sense. I'm glad she waited for me all those years.
The next steps will be here in the coming years. I'm excited. Hopeful. So many people I know are having children. I yearn so deeply for one. I also, still want to travel to some other country. But having a baby, well, I would want to be close to my family and friends. I'm a bit torn. I know it'll happen soon. I can't stop the yearning.