Back down to earth with a bump

[playfair_182]

I've been kind of hyper all day, being silly, smiling, laughing, just being dumb, catching up with old friends, trawling the net to see what's changed, and what's stayed the same since I left last summer. I've had my music blaring out on full volume and haven't had a care in the world until I stumbled on this random diary site and started looking through random diaries and then suddenly I found this name that sounded familiar and so I started reading their entries and sure enough it was someone I used to know years ago, in fact it was someone I used to date about 3 years back now and I found this post they'd written in December about how things used to be and how she hadn't really felt happy since the summer we'd dated and I felt really bad, not for breaking things off, when things come to an end you have to do what you have to do, no, I felt bad because these were her thoughts I was reading and although they were published on the internet, and so you could hardly call them private, I got the impression that her thoughts were not meant for my eyes...
I wish I could make her happy again, I wish I could pass on the good feelings I've had lately, but what can a guy do? The trouble is that every girl I've ever been in love with, I'm still in love with, I love love, I love being in love and I hate seing anyone I love unhappy. Now I feel kind of down.
At times I'm this big immature kid, I go off where I want, do what I want, never take anything to seriously, maybe I should think of others more, maybe I should grow up, but I don't think I will, ever. I kind of have the feeling I'll always be this dumb kid that just floats about in life, to busy having fun to make something of himself...