(no subject)
So my mother has left for Singapore. I hardly got to spend time with her given I was barely at home, always rushing around uni for project meetings and then spending the subsequent X hours trying to complete it. Year 3 has been such a whirlwind of emotions, I must say this is my laziest semester by far. I do seem to pick the wrongest of times to retreat into my own bubble. I realise I really do like privacy (and my mother coming for a week was a sure violation of that! I actually WITHDREW from home and stayed out more in the library.)
It's not that I dislike my parents, it's just that I respond adversely to having a permanent fixture around. It's just like how if I'm not in my room in Singapore, by default that means I'm out. Because there is no other place in the house I go to, sans the 2nd floor for switching on of internet modemn.
Which is scary in every sense, because does that I mean I am permanent-phobic? Here now and forever scares me, because I know I get bored easily. Yet I yearn and long for the kind of love that gives me a spring in my step, makes me want to give my all despite and regardless of whatever trivial or major circumstance. I think the truest kind of love is one that assures you, nurtures you. It's one that you know you don't have to ask for, because you know it will be given to you. When people ask, it's because they are hesitant or doubtful. When people perpetually remind you, it's because of the possibility in knowing it will/may slip off your mind. Wouldn't it be wonderful to have a love that you know you can count on, a sort of love that is self sacrificial, a sort of love that loves you not just out of convenience, a sort of love that awakens your senses and lifts your spirits, a sort of love that dulls in comparison to your dreams.
A girl can only dream.
Back to reality... of monotiny and make-do's.
What I'd give to have a spring in my step.
It's not that I dislike my parents, it's just that I respond adversely to having a permanent fixture around. It's just like how if I'm not in my room in Singapore, by default that means I'm out. Because there is no other place in the house I go to, sans the 2nd floor for switching on of internet modemn.
Which is scary in every sense, because does that I mean I am permanent-phobic? Here now and forever scares me, because I know I get bored easily. Yet I yearn and long for the kind of love that gives me a spring in my step, makes me want to give my all despite and regardless of whatever trivial or major circumstance. I think the truest kind of love is one that assures you, nurtures you. It's one that you know you don't have to ask for, because you know it will be given to you. When people ask, it's because they are hesitant or doubtful. When people perpetually remind you, it's because of the possibility in knowing it will/may slip off your mind. Wouldn't it be wonderful to have a love that you know you can count on, a sort of love that is self sacrificial, a sort of love that loves you not just out of convenience, a sort of love that awakens your senses and lifts your spirits, a sort of love that dulls in comparison to your dreams.
A girl can only dream.
Back to reality... of monotiny and make-do's.
What I'd give to have a spring in my step.