more than flashing lights and sounds
i miss my husband so freakin' much. today i cried for the first time in front of him. well, not in front of him but on the webcam. i just miss him so much now especially cause everything is so much better than before. i've poured my heart and soul into this relationship. so much effort and so much heart ache into this. i stood the betrayals and done the betraying but we're so much better than before and he's not here. that's what kills me. i just hope this newleywed feeling doesn't ever end. we're like we were before. renewed, pure, innocent. i love being nate's wife. yeah, that's right, i said it. i don't care if the world hates us together or hates us apart. we're made for each other. if this marriage doesn't work out, it'll be because a decision to end it. not because of anyone or anything else. i'm sure of it. but i know that this love is never ending. apart or togethered. it's a love you can't replace or can't forget or can't ever break. it's there. it'll always be there.
there were others who attempted to get through. sure, it could be different. my life could be different, if i had more will power to deny love or to deny my heart the satisfaction that nate brings me. but i didn't and i'm glad i didn't. he's my other half. i've said it once and i'll say it again. you can call yourself a homewrecker but you didn't wreck a home. you're a little wind storm that knocked around a couple big rocks. nothing spectacular. nothing more.
and yeah, this love is unattainable to most. this love is pretty disfunctional and yeah, pretty pathetic to most girls and guys. but i don't care. i honestly don't. sure, it gets to me but i know where my heart is and where his heart is. it's with each other and nothing can change that. NOTHING.
with every yesterday, there's a today, and a tomorrow. i look foward to the future, i look foward to my new life. my loves will carry me on to lead a grand one.
there were others who attempted to get through. sure, it could be different. my life could be different, if i had more will power to deny love or to deny my heart the satisfaction that nate brings me. but i didn't and i'm glad i didn't. he's my other half. i've said it once and i'll say it again. you can call yourself a homewrecker but you didn't wreck a home. you're a little wind storm that knocked around a couple big rocks. nothing spectacular. nothing more.
and yeah, this love is unattainable to most. this love is pretty disfunctional and yeah, pretty pathetic to most girls and guys. but i don't care. i honestly don't. sure, it gets to me but i know where my heart is and where his heart is. it's with each other and nothing can change that. NOTHING.
with every yesterday, there's a today, and a tomorrow. i look foward to the future, i look foward to my new life. my loves will carry me on to lead a grand one.