Oh, grow up
Growing up is definitely not easy. I have come to realize it's full of trials and errors. Unfortunately, it seems the errors are more prevalent. I feel like every time I take one step forward I take three steps back. I'm sure that's the way it's supposed to work, but I just don't feel like I am where I should be. I'm 21 years old. I know I have a lot more growing up to do, but for what I have already done and where I feel I should be... it just doesn't match. I got in the way of myself. Every time I would do something to assert some sort of independence I would take it back. I need to stop doing that. I should be graduating in the spring. I should be living on my own. I should not still be in this city. I should have more experience under my belt. But I'm not, I didn't, and I don't. I know... shoulda, coulda, woulda. I'm not saying that I regret because I don't. But I can still kick myself in the ass. I wouldn't have met the people I did or experienced life as I did if I hadn't made the choices I made. I wouldn't be who I am today. Albeit, who I am today is mostly someone I really don't know seeing as I lost myself somewhere along the way. I recognize some pieces, but most are still foreign to me. It's slowly coming back together though. For the first time in a year I feel like I have direction, and I just might be on the right path. Just once I wish I could plan something and have it come out the way I planned. It never does. I suppose that's life though. You learn and you grow.