(no subject)
so..after a much needed time away from Lansing, it still seems that things arnt going as well as i planed.
I went to kalamazoo the other day...confused and frusterated. I spent the whole day with Bree which was pretty fun. After that i went to spectacular practice and ended up staying the night at my manager Tracis house. The next day..i decided to come back Which brings me to right now.
I woke up this morning feeling numb from the night before. I got on the computer to see if anyone was online. My friend Steve started talking to me and told me that he was moving. This sucks.....so fucking bad. We use to be such awesome friends, then drifted apart accidentaly. He is the only friend that i have in lansing that isnt in this whole Gay group thing. I wish i would have been able to spend more time with him..because from the way it sounds.....he isnt coming back.
Later on, i checked my E-mail. The only E-mail that i got that really mattered was from my mother. She explained to tell me that my brothers uncle died the night before. I didnt really know the guy that well...but he was so awesome to be around when he actually WAS around. Man....can this day get any weirder.
So now im sitting here with thoughts racing through my mind. Thoughts of Fear, Rejection, Being Alone, and Life in general. I have been having those clusters of intence thoughts alot lately...that i cant even explain................................................. i just hope everything will turn out for the best.
I went to kalamazoo the other day...confused and frusterated. I spent the whole day with Bree which was pretty fun. After that i went to spectacular practice and ended up staying the night at my manager Tracis house. The next day..i decided to come back Which brings me to right now.
I woke up this morning feeling numb from the night before. I got on the computer to see if anyone was online. My friend Steve started talking to me and told me that he was moving. This sucks.....so fucking bad. We use to be such awesome friends, then drifted apart accidentaly. He is the only friend that i have in lansing that isnt in this whole Gay group thing. I wish i would have been able to spend more time with him..because from the way it sounds.....he isnt coming back.
Later on, i checked my E-mail. The only E-mail that i got that really mattered was from my mother. She explained to tell me that my brothers uncle died the night before. I didnt really know the guy that well...but he was so awesome to be around when he actually WAS around. Man....can this day get any weirder.
So now im sitting here with thoughts racing through my mind. Thoughts of Fear, Rejection, Being Alone, and Life in general. I have been having those clusters of intence thoughts alot lately...that i cant even explain................................................. i just hope everything will turn out for the best.