(no subject)
So it is December 20th and I still haven't received anything. They said notification by the 20th. So now I am completely depressed because I don't know what it means. Everyday I think it is going to be the day...and then nothing comes. If I didn't get in...then I just want to fucking know. This is making it so much more painful and stressful. How can it come after the latest date they posted? I am becoming more and more pessimistic by the hour. If I didn't get in, then I need to send stuff to other schools. I have been waiting for this...but I'm gonna fuck over my chances of getting in anywhere else if I don't send my scores soon and finish my last and second most important application. Everytime I go on the computer I go through the sick/scared feeling. And I don't know how many more times I am gonna have to put up with this. Why can't anything just be a little simple for me? This is completely ruining everything for me. I just feel so hopeless where this is concerned. I would honeslty rather just know that I didn't get in so that I can start making other plans. And I'm on a boat and don't have the means to deal with this stuff. The problem is that the college board will be closed for the holidays and my scores won't be sent on time. And there are other deadlines. I am feeling so overwhelmed and screwed again. When will this all be over? When will I be able to be genuinely happy? I am so demoralized and depressed. I just hope that I won't be devastated.