(no subject)
two mistakes today. i dont kno how i am gonna make up for them because its something that i cant take back. i already punished myself and i kno thats gonna cost me. BIG TIME. but those results will not him me until like 3days from now. argg! i feel like charlie brown. he is always messing up and doing real stupid stuff and here i am doing the same thing. oh whoa is me! i need some serious hel. seriously. maybe i should talk to my sister. she can always help me. or maybe she cant. with the baby she has enough problems on her hands, why does she need to deal with mine? oh yea, just in case no one realized, this is my depression issue. i hate band. i hate music. i hate school. i hate my mother. i hate everything. i really dont think i can take stuff like i thought i could. divon controls me. not purposely but somehow he has some kind of control over me. and so does everyone else. some people who are like " close to me" annoy the sh*t out of me. and i want to tell them to get out of my face but its not who i am. and i cant be who the make me i just have to be myself. at the moment i dont know who that is.