maybe it was unfair of you: the two of you met in high school, briefly, passing by like falling leaves, and he was a broken star. a brief meeting became a passing relationship, flirting and teasing, but even beyond his third year, he stayed in touch with you. but it wasn’t supposed to be what it turned into-you loved him, possessively, exasperated with yourself for it, and you knew he loved you too, in his own free-form, haphazard way. so maybe, considering it was only ever meant to be brief, it was unfair of you to ask for him to wait for you while you studied music in another country. you’d be gone years, you weren’t sure how long exactly, but you wanted that selfish reassurance. he would still be there, with his stupidly wide grin and his warm hands, his impulsive temper and impossible to explain or resist charm-you wanted to know he would stay. it was unfair to ask. but when you do, standing in a coat under trees that were beginning to lose their leaves, he blinks at you like it’s a stupid question. of course i’m going to wait for you. and it’s amazing, really, what an idiot he is, but it’s a weight off your shoulders-he crosses the gap between you and takes your face in his hands and grins, a tiny bit, and says, you’re not getting rid of me. you close your eyes before his lips meet yours.
-well, he was so pretty, you couldn’t really help wanting to dress him up, sometimes. he had soft hair and pretty eyes, violet and dark, and pale, freckled skin, and you wanted to dress him up. he’d look nice with eyeliner, mascara; his eyelashes were already dark, although not very long. it wouldn’t take much to make him-at the risk of sounding conceited-as pretty as you. but you don’t voice it. you keep your thoughts of dressing him like a girl, of painting his lips and brushing colour across his closed eyelids, to yourself.