red lips pale lips
hello. here are a lot of things.
i. curls of lemon and wet cake; today i crave sugar, dark with molasses. i want to feel dizzy and sick from rough sugar on my tongue and honey dripping down my throat. fructose poisoning.
honey bring it close to my lips
ii. she and her fiancée spent a friday a few weeks ago at the zoo to run away from an antagonising boss and the tedium of everyday reporting. ‘it was as if we were two students skipping class,’ she tells me. he brought his telephoto lens and they watched the gorillas for hours the way i do.
iii. temperatures as low as -18°c as if i am not cold enough already.
iv. diseases of the honey bee: varroa, acarine, paenibacillus larvae (american), melissococcus pluton (european), chalkbrood, nosema, dysentery, aethina tumida, wax moths, stonebrood, kashmir bee virus.
v. i am crepuscular in winter; i wake, drenched in first light and last light and long to spend the remaining hours hibernating.
vi. at night, i take a dose of oranges are not the only fruit and it goes down like medicine. finished, now, but a bitter aftertaste. nothing like lighthousekeeping which kept me in dreams for a week.
vii. "t’s are generally crabbed, ungenerous creatures. u is a soulless sort of thing. 4 is honest, but… 3 i cannot trust… 9 is dark, a gentleman, tall and graceful, but politic under his suavity" - synaesthetic subject report
viii. bruxism. i have been clenching my jaw, pushing molar against molar until the muscles shake with weakness.
ix. remember: summer mornings age sixteen, i returned home from teaching bible school to preschoolers in late morning and made breakfast of egg whites cooked with oregano, and celery sticks. for lunch, the smallest apple in the drawer cut into bite-size pieces. dinner was a sandwich of fat-free cheddar on light wheat bread, grilled and cut diagonally, and a cup of vegetable broth. sometimes i ate later on-- a small cup of fat-free yogurt.
when the hunger began to eat away at me, i made a bracelet of shiny red beads. i was allowed to eat only if i wore the bracelet, which i hid away or left at home. sometimes i only permitted myself to eat at quarter after each hour and purposely skipped the time all day. i wore rubber bands around my wrists and snapped them, hard, for every ten calories i consumed. something heavy like a banana left my wrists throbbing and red.
INSIDES
my perfect bag.
ipod [mrs. filomena honeyweather], wallet, keys [to spike the car; note the name], digital voice recorder, micro tip black pens, lipstick, gum.
current novel [rereading lolita], steno pad, moleskine journal, compact. not pictured: mobile, camera and lens bits.
SOME PHOTOS
buddha sculpted by me in about sixteen seconds during a saturday night game of cranium.
wasser. yeah, i am fascinated with hands lately. and paws.
pretty pretty kitty.
I ♥ BOOKS
oakmont library had a used book sale this weekend. i wandered around for an hour in between interviews, opening mouldy books and sneezing a lot. i would have found more, only there was a skinny awkward man in glasses who had hoarded literally half of the books under his enormous coat in the centre of the floor and also announced that he wouldn't be purchasing all of them. hmph. i found three edward gorey books i did not own, notebooks of albert camus, a few design books, a treasury of arthur rackham illustrations, a collection of mucha paintings, a vintage copy of wuthering heights, an old copy of a separate peace, and the most delightful illustrated book all about gnomes in lavish detail!
VICTORY
evgeni malkin a moment away from ravishing jordan staal, who won the game with a hat trick during the overtime period.
my father and i watched the penguins game together saturday night with coronas -- it was remarkable, the best of the season so far. jordan staal melted my heart with the hat trick, winning the overtime period in such an intense game. his first NHL hat trick, only eighteen years old! the poor kid didn't see anything but gloves for the first five minutes after the game. i am always particularly happy to see the pens triump against the leafs because some players seriously lack sportsmanship, particularly hal gill [like during the game in january when the score was something like 7-1 pittsburgh, and the leafs turned it into a boxing match led by gill].
later that night, i put on my biggest hoop earrings and went to a bar with mollie to hear the fennels -- marjie & jeff's new trio band with a new fellow called mark. [note » marjie is mollie's mother and jeff is her stepfather, krist's father]. marjie is so radiant on stage with her hip-length hair and siren voice. it's clear they have a great vibe with mark, who has excellent stage presence. marjie sang 'landslide' and i kept my eyes closed the whole time, humming. mark sang 'wild horses' and the room was so cold all night, the bartender said i looked sixteen so i couldn't have beer or wine to warm up. i wanted to cry or leave but the music was so beautiful. the weather was worse; mollie and i traipsed out after hugging and shaking hands all around and we were so physically affected by the harsh cold.
i am addicted to ETSY, still. yesterday, i bought a shell & coral pendant yesterday, and an antique key necklace today.
sometimes there are three of me.
THE END.
leave me comments. i miss you all.