(no subject)

[insidethestars]

• What sort of profession in the wizarding world would you choose and why?
  I'd likely choose a profession where I'd be able to make a difference in people's lives. I'd enjoy being a professor at Hogwarts to interact with the students and pass my knowledge of magic on to the next generation of witches and wizards. I'd also enjoy working as a healer at St. Mungo's, and discovering cures for new magical ailments, because something new would appear each day. If I couldn't do either of those, I'd contemplate opening an ancient book store and café in either Diagon Alley or at Hogsmeade, because it would give me an opportunity to share my love of literature with my clients. I'd also consider working for the Ministry of Magic in some form. I really do like politics, and would like to fight with the ministry to make it a less corrupt system of government. Working my way up to be the "backroom girl" for the Minister (aka the brains behind the operation) would be an ideal job for me. I don't much care for the spotlight, but I like to get things done.
  
  
• If you could teach one class at Hogwarts, what would it be and why?
  I'd love to teach Transfiguration. I definitely consider it the most interesting of the subjects. On the other hand, teaching Muggle Studies could be a blast, to see the reaction of students who have little to no experience in the Muggle World trying to comprehend all of the qwirks of modern Muggle society.
  
  
• This year, The TriWizard Tournament is being held once again and you're of age. Do you put your name in the Goblet? Why or why not?
  I'd have to say that's a resounding no. I'm not a person who does well with physical competition, especially when I'm required to participate by myself. When it comes to sports, I tend to lose my cool and become easily frustrated during tournaments. I'm marginally better with team sports, but in that case I get annoyed with other members of the team, and prefer to play by myself. It's a kind of vicious cycle. I much prefer recreational sports, or informal competition between friends, but the pressure of needing to win tends to mess with my mind. However, when it comes to academic competition, I have a drive to outwit, outlast, and outplay the competitors. (Not enough to work my butt off, just enough to get mad when others do better.) In addition to my lack of competitive nature, I doubt I'd be brave enough to face some of the challenges the competitors had to face in the TriWizard Tournament. I'm capable of functioning on adrenaline in case of emergency (so I'd probably do well at the task where they had to save those who meant most to them,) but in such cases I lose all cognitive reasoning skills. I'd likely be the first to be eliminated in almost every challenge. To sum up, I'd definitely not submit my name to the TriWizard Tournament, I'd prefer to watch, or coach from the sidelines. I like to tell people what to do, and cheer on my friends.
  
  
• If you could choose your animagus form, what would it be and why?
  I thing my animagus would be a cat. Cats are independent creatures, but are also very well loved and loving at times. They're stealthy, and don't tend to disclose their emotions to strangers. They can be incredibly trusting, then untrusting should you double cross them. They are very intelligent, and know how to get what they want, yet not to the extent that they are manipulative. I feel these characteristics are very fitting of my own personality
  
  
• What HP character do you identify with most and why?
  It really depends on the moment which character I identify most with. I identify some with Harry (although I don't like him a lot of the time) in feeling a sense of devout loyalty and responsibility for my friends. HP is unlike a lot of other fandoms that I'm in that I don't see myself in any of the characters, really. I see a part of myself in the Lily that we've been described pieces of -- her compassion, her total and complete loyalty to those she cares about. I also see parts of myself in Professor McGonagall, in her devotion to the school, and her serious nature, but I don't have one particular character I see myself in above the rest.
  
  
• What would you see if you looked into the Mirror of Erised?
  I think if I looked into the Mirror of Erised I'd see myself as an adult, with a daughter giving me a hug. It seems kind of silly, but the thing I desire most is to have a good relationship with my future children. My biggest fear is that if I decided to have children (which is something I've always wanted to do), they'll have a similar relationship with me to what I have with my own mother. And while I love my mother very much, I could not subject any child to a verbally abusive, controlling environment that I've had. And the reason I've lived in that environment is because my mother loves me too much, and her personality is such that she needs to have control over every aspect of her life. My parents instilled in me many of the values I still have today, most of which is my independence, but when I got older and became an independent person, my mother realized the values she'd spent so long teaching me had caused her to lose control of me. So she started trying to get it back. I want to be a mother -- it's a goal I've had for most of my life, but I've spent endless nights trying find a way to prove myself to my mother, and I'm absolutely petrified that if I do, I'll be on the receiving end of some of the feelings I've had about my mother in the darkest points of our relationship. I know she loves me, and I love her, but as many people who have had major problems with their mother know, at some point it stops being about the mutual knowledge of love.
  
  
• If you won a million dollars, how would you spend it?
  I'd like to say I'd be completely selfless with it, but I can't say with any certainty that I would. At this point in my life, I think I'd take a large portion of it to invest in my own business, as I'm not sure I'll have the opportunity to start a business otherwise. I'd likely invest a fair portion to start a nice fund for my future -- that's what kills me about being a university student, everything is about the future. It's difficult to enjoy the present while everyone is pushing you to worry incessantly about the future. After that, I'd give some to friends and family -- to friends so they can go to college because they currently can't afford it, or so they can pay the rent, things like that. And I'd pay off my tuition. (*eye roll*) Anything left (which may not be a lot at that point, but anything at all remaining, even if it's only a few lousy dollars) would go to a charity. Probably the cancer society, or to help find a cure for AIDS, or for rebuilding in a country like Rwanda. To a cause close to my heart, anyway.
  
  
• What was your ideal job as a kid? Has that changed? What is your ideal job now?
  My ideal job as a kid changed on a weekly basis, and I can't say much has changed since then. I went back and forth between a vet, a doctor, and a teacher, most frequently. I still wouldn't mind the first two of those three jobs, although I doubt I have the patience to be a teacher (not discounting it totally though.) Unfortunately, growing up has shown me that I don't excel in the sciences, and I don't have anywhere near the marks required to get into med school. My dream job would be a neonatal surgeon, but I doubt that's ever going to happen. And my other dream is to open and run my own book store, that's something I've always always wanted to do. I guess I'm cynical, but I doubt that will ever happen either. The long and the short of this ramble is that I don't have a (realistic) clue of what I want to do with my life.
  
  
• If you were able to invent one spell, potion, or charm, what would it do, what would you use it for or how would you use it, and what would you call it?
  I'd invent a potion that would make people realize how utterly stupid they're being and have them clue in on when they need to stop talking in order to keep from embarassing themselves. I think it would cause people a lot less agony and pain to be able to realize this, myself included.
  
  
• If you were to face a boggart, what would it turn into? And what does it turn into when you throw the counter-spell, Riddikulus?
  I think if I were to face a boggart, it would turn into some form of an embarrassing circumstance for me. A thousand faces pointing and laughing, or whispering about me. When I throw the Riddikulus spell, they'd all turn into something silly, like a pack of sheep wearing pink boxers, or something like that.
  
  
• What do you look for in a friend?
  It's funny, I ask myself this a lot. It really depends on the person, whether I like them or not. I like people who are caring, even if it's not evident on the surface. You can tell that some people really don't care about the well being of others, but others do, they just don't show it often. I like people who have a sense of humor, no matter how oddball ir may be. Some of my most wonderful friends have the weirdest sense of humor, but it's what I love the most about them. I generally look for people who aren't catty or backstabbing, but I know there's a little of that in all of us. Arrogance is a big turn off for me, but so are people who are overly clingy. I've accepted that I'm not going to be friends with some people forever, so when someone can't cope in the world by themselves, I want little to nothing to do with them. We're all responsible for our own destiny, and holding on to a friend's arm like a life raft isn't going to change that. At the same time I look for someone who isn't going to let me down. I've been burned a bunch of times by people I considered to be friends. And maybe that was as much my fault as theirs, maybe it was a lesson I had to learn in a way, but since then I've become wary of people who seem to have overly good intentions, as they let you down time and time again.
  
  
• What trait most annoys you about other people?
  Just one? ;) I'm annoyed by all the typical things -- idiocy, ignorance, insensitivity etc. but there's one thing that if you think about it, encompasses all of those things, and more. (Now this rant may offend some people, but this is 100% my perspective and my opinion, and I'm not going to apologize for it.) The thing that annoys me most about other people is people who do not vote. I am absolutely baffled by the fact that if we're lucky, in the western world only 60% of eligible members of society vote in municipal, provincial (or state, I guess), and federal elections. Everyone has a different reason, but all of those reasons, in my opinion, boils down to downright laziness. You say you don't have time? Polls are open all day. You can also vote before the date by special ballot, which is what I did in Canada's most recent federal election since I wasn't going to be at home. You say you're not informed enough to make a valid decision? It really doesn't take much to inform yourself. In the weeks leading up to an election, the coverage is everywhere. Parties release their platforms, candidates make speeches and have rallies. If you aren't informed, it's because you are too lazy to get up and inform yourself. You say you can't find a babysitter for the kids? Bring 'em with you. Children should see their parents being responsible citizens. You say there's no one to vote for? Fine. Spoil your ballot. Vote for a fringe candidate. So long as you actually make the effort of going and voting, I don't care how you register your protest. It may sound harsh, but everytime someone tells me they didn't, or aren't voting, it makes we want to send them to a country where people don't have the right to vote, or where voting for your candidate of choice can cost you your life. We are so so incredibly fortunate to live in a society where we (and I mean people as a whole, but especially myself as a woman) have the right to vote. Voting isn't just an extra perk of living in a democratic society, it's a privledge, and a responsibility.
  
  
• What do you think are your top five abilities or qualities?
  
  Compassion - I definitely feel my compassion is my greatest strength. I'm the person people always turn to when they need help, or need a comforting shoulder to lean on. People come to me with secrets because they trust me to do everything in my power to help them, if I can, and if I can do nothing, to let them cry, or let them rant. In addition to being "that person" for other people, my compassion for others motivates me to do things to make them feel better. If someone seems upset, I'll give them a hug, or write them a note, or draw them a silly picture to make them smile again. I've been told I have an uncanny ability to interpret how people are feeling, and I know I will drop everything and run at a moment's notice to help a friend in need. That's even more important to me now that I'm away from my best high school friends. I will get on a bus, or a train, or a plane if need be.
  
  Intelligence - I've been fortunate to be blessed with a certain amount of intelligence. In middle school I was always the girl that annoyed the smart boys because I did just as well as they did, and it hurt their fragile egos. ;) And it's more than just developing the reputation of getting good grades, and knowing the answers to questions. I find that this year, I'm surrounded by people just as "smart" as I am, if we're talking about book smarts, but I am also intelligent socially, and have a random collection of useless facts at my disposal. *shrugs* I've always taken my intelligence for granted, in a way, but it has definitely shaped my personality.
  
  Independence - I listed independence as one of my negative qualities, as well as a positive quality, since it's one of my downfalls as well. I've grown up to be a person that doesn't need the approval of others to function (although that doesn't mean I don't like it.) I'm capable of making decisions without consulting other people, of going places and doing things without a friend or family member to cling on to. I don't mind being alone, and I definitely enjoy having my own personal space where I can think and feel without someone breathing down my neck. I've always been like this, to a certain extent.
  
  Responsible - For a longtime, I've been the "serious one" The person that can be counted on to be there, to be on time, to be trustworthy, and keep people from doing anything too ridiculous. I'm not one to do crazy things, and I feel a sense of responsibility, or having to look out for people when we go out. But I like the role I play. People know they can count on me to get things done. I'm the organizer, I plan parties and events, and it's nice to have some semblance of control over how things go.
  
  Creativity - I wish I had artistic skills, but I'm a writer and a musician with an inability to draw at all. I love writing, and I fall in love with my characters, so much so that it's very very difficult to let them go at the end. I love writing because it lets me create or "give birth" in a way to these other beings that develop their own personalities and tastes and qwirks. Love love LOVE it. And I also love playing the piano and the flute, and singing in the shower, and just everything that relates to music.
  
  
• What do you think are your top five weaknesses or worst qualities?
  
  Laziness - I swear I have a disorder of some kind. I am the least motivated, most procratinating, most apathetic, laziest person I have personally ever met. And it is not good. It's most evident when I'm sitting at my computer for hours on end, coding layouts, making icons, watching tv, reading fanfic, and my friends come and go from MSN with good reasons to leave; a paper to write, reading to do, stuyding to do. And it's not that I don't have the same things that I'm responsible for, I just put them off to the last possible second. I've always been one to do the least amount of work possible to do well (which I've been fortunate up until this year to be able to accomplish.) But my parents were told in elementary school that "Tamara doesn't apply herself". I somehow managed to get through high school and have people think I spent a lot more time working than I actually did. When I actually buckle down and do the work, I can focus and get what needs to be done finished, but it's forcing myself away from the computer, or the tv, or my friends and starting that's the most difficult.
  
  Passive-Aggressive. - I never had a problem standing up for myself when I was younger. Ever. But events occurred when I was 13 or 14 that caused me to lose a good portion of my self-confidence. The result of this hasn't been pretty. I'm still great at standing up for myself and for what I believe in with people I know and feel comfortable with. I can be downright bitchy if I think the situation requires it, I can fight with the best of them, and defend myself. But then, take people I'm not so comfortable with, that I'm afraid of losing, that I care too much what they think, and I let them walk all over me. I won't state an opinion, I won't get into an argument, I won't stand up for my beliefs, or even call someone on being wrong. And I'm not actually as confident as I display with my parents, or as unconfident as I am with the people I want to make a good impression on.
  
  Optimistic - I tend to hide my optimism and trust behind a façade of sarcasm and cynicism, but I have this unfailing trust in the human race that causes me to get hurt again, and again, and again. My head realizes from past experience that people let me down. Yet I tend to put myself in situations where I get my hopes up, and am let down. My heart hasn't figured out not to leap, and send signals to my brain that "This time it's going to be different. She's different, he's different, she's not going to hurt me." And then I have to spend time healing when they do. I've been told that my expectations in people are far to high, yet I still believe that I can trust, which just causes me more pain in the long run. I try to be skeptical, but end up on the optimistic side of the spectrum. And this causes tears.
  
  Fear - I'm not sure when I developed the intense fear of everything under the sun, but somewhere along the way, it appeared. I'm afraid of everything from the silly (spiders -- absolutely hate them), to the major (death being the first one.) I guess you could call it almost a paranoia. Everytime I drive somewhere, I expect to get into a car accident, even though I've never had one before. I'm afraid of roller coasters, for fear that I'm going to fall out. I'm afraid of losing those I love to whatever -- illness, heart attack, freak accident etc. And my greatest and most paralysing fear is of embarrassment. I have to change the channel when someone is doing something embarrassing to themselves on television. I stay out of the limelight, I hate being the center of attention for fear that someone is going to say something to mock me. I have to turn away or close my eyes when my friends are doing something silly to attract attention. I have missed a multitude of wonderful experiences because I've been too afraid to take them.
  
  Independence - This is on both of my lists, as it is one of my greatest strengths, but also one of my greatest downfalls at the same time. Sometimes I lean on people for comfort, but at most times, I'm a decidedly independent entity. For example, when I came to university, I really didn't know anyone else here. My roommate was someone completely new, as were all of the other people around me. A lot of the girls on my floor latched onto their roommates for comfort, and they became the best of friends. I, on the other hand, realized that I didn't have a lot in common with my roommate, or the other girls she was hanging out with, so I didn't spend all of my time with them. I was perfectly okay being a solitary creature, and I eventually found some people that I did have things in common with. Unfortunately, this has left me high and dry for housing next year, as most people are looking for places with their roommates, and another pair. So yes, it's great that I was comfortable alone, but at the same time, I've demonstrated that since I don't absolutely need any one individual, I'm not part of a "unit" so to speak.
  
  
• Define in your own words the following key traits:
  
  • Courage: Courage and bravery are two very different things. Courage is what you can find inside you to stand up for what is right. I love the quote about courage from To Kill A Mockingbird (although I detested having to analyze the book in ninth grade English.) "I wanted you to see what real courage is, instead of getting the idea that courage is a man with a gun in his hand. It's when you know you're licked before you begin but you begin anyway and you see it through no matter what. You rarely win, but sometimes you do."
    
  • Loyalty: Standing by the people or ideals that mean most to you through the difficult times. Being a friend, or believing in something or someone isn't always going to be easy, and loyalty is resisting the urge to cut and run when things get rough.
    
  • Intelligence: The ability to sift through the information that your fed every day from just being alive and aware, and learn something from it.
    
  • Ambition: The drive to attain what you want from life.
    
  
  
• Name: Tamara
  
• Age: 18
  
• Where did you find out about us? I was a part of this community for a long time, but decided it was better to leave when I went away to school last fall. I've since realized that I do have the time to participate, and decided I missed it enough to return. I was sorted back in the day of the old community, so I'd like to see if my personality has changed in the couple of years since I was originally sorted.