Still testing the precipice....
Goddamn. I went from totally brain-dead to totally hyper in a matter of seconds. Thank you, Heather Ramsey. You are a rock goddess descended from the stars to enchant our humble world.
I feel like I should declare something on here, right now, with nothing but my wit and 21 years of bizarre life experiences to back me up. An off-the-cuff discussion about something high-minded that matters to me personally. A rant about religion, or gender concepts, or politics....and yet, though I dread to dash your hopes, I must confess, I cannot do this. Consider it a willingness to alienate the audience, but not to bore them. Though of course, boredom in a theatrical sense is a form of alienation. Still, I think the original point is valid.
Sure, that'll work as an excuse not to say anything I mean.
So I'm taking this poetry workshop thing this quarter. Now, when Marguerite told me about it (having taken it last quarter), it sounded very cool. Unfortunately, I tend to find that classes always sound cool, while not being that cool in reality. But, y'know, I'm trying to actually do good in the class because, honestly, I realize that I need to improve my use of the form, since I often write in a set style which becomes very boring after a while. Don't get me wrong; I still think I'm an utter genius whose gifted hand will bring rain to a barren artistic landscape and, ultimately, make future generations bless their children with the invocation of my name.....or something like that. So, all jests and delusions aside, we all know that I lack a stable confidence in my abilities. Which is why it was really cool today when I got one of our recent assignments (three image poems, each of three lines or less) back; my TA had written approximately two paragraphs in critiquing one of them. She seemed pretty impressed, and explained that she had written such a long response because she felt that I was "verging on something grand". Damn. I like to know that even strangers can appreciate something in what I do; maybe that means I'm on the right track?
That whole paragraph sounds so cocky and fake that it makes my eyes hurt. But it'll serve.
Y'know what I just now realized? Anybody who doesn't like this journal doesn't have to read it. It's a volunteer thing. I'm not sure that, in terms of how I structure (or, as is frequently the case, "un-structure") each post, that particular thought had ever occurred to me. I've always assumed that I had to capture interest to maintain readership. Interest, for me at least, being more intellectual than emotional in almost every case. Maybe it's okay to be boring sometimes.
Alright, well....I feel better. Hope you do too. I think I'm gonna head off to bed and catch some of this sleep thing I've heard so much about. I'll catch ya later.
I feel like I should declare something on here, right now, with nothing but my wit and 21 years of bizarre life experiences to back me up. An off-the-cuff discussion about something high-minded that matters to me personally. A rant about religion, or gender concepts, or politics....and yet, though I dread to dash your hopes, I must confess, I cannot do this. Consider it a willingness to alienate the audience, but not to bore them. Though of course, boredom in a theatrical sense is a form of alienation. Still, I think the original point is valid.
Sure, that'll work as an excuse not to say anything I mean.
So I'm taking this poetry workshop thing this quarter. Now, when Marguerite told me about it (having taken it last quarter), it sounded very cool. Unfortunately, I tend to find that classes always sound cool, while not being that cool in reality. But, y'know, I'm trying to actually do good in the class because, honestly, I realize that I need to improve my use of the form, since I often write in a set style which becomes very boring after a while. Don't get me wrong; I still think I'm an utter genius whose gifted hand will bring rain to a barren artistic landscape and, ultimately, make future generations bless their children with the invocation of my name.....or something like that. So, all jests and delusions aside, we all know that I lack a stable confidence in my abilities. Which is why it was really cool today when I got one of our recent assignments (three image poems, each of three lines or less) back; my TA had written approximately two paragraphs in critiquing one of them. She seemed pretty impressed, and explained that she had written such a long response because she felt that I was "verging on something grand". Damn. I like to know that even strangers can appreciate something in what I do; maybe that means I'm on the right track?
That whole paragraph sounds so cocky and fake that it makes my eyes hurt. But it'll serve.
Y'know what I just now realized? Anybody who doesn't like this journal doesn't have to read it. It's a volunteer thing. I'm not sure that, in terms of how I structure (or, as is frequently the case, "un-structure") each post, that particular thought had ever occurred to me. I've always assumed that I had to capture interest to maintain readership. Interest, for me at least, being more intellectual than emotional in almost every case. Maybe it's okay to be boring sometimes.
Alright, well....I feel better. Hope you do too. I think I'm gonna head off to bed and catch some of this sleep thing I've heard so much about. I'll catch ya later.