I've ignored everything for too long
And now every negative emotion is back with a fucking vengence. Every little thing is pissing me off. And it makes it incredibly horribly so much more worse when someone says things like, 'Haha its a dog chill out" or "Wow you're in a mood". The feeling is a combination between absolute hysterical anger and right before a panic attack. This is torture and I'm pissed and I hate that the only people attracted to me are fucking lowerclassmen and weird people my age and up. My skin is pissing me off because it is disgusting and I'm too lazy to do my hair anymore. My room is not clean and it is a reflection of my thoughts. Everything is everywhere and too cluttered and I can't see my floor clearly. Unresponsive people piss me off. Confusion pisses me off. People who are angry or sad piss me off. The fact that I'm behind on homework and have a chance of not graduating pisses me the fuck off. The fact that I cannot drink pisses me off beyond belief. I need to kill something, just fucking strangle something. I hate panic attacks. I hate shaking. I hate looking in the mirror and only feeling anger. I hate art for making us look in a mirror the whole class period and drawing a self portrait. I'd rather fail than look at myself and my flaws for 49 minutes. I hate that my brother leaves on Saturday. I hate that my dad doesn't notice when I eat except when I eat junk food. I hate feeling out of control. I hate feeling like I need to scream and yell and hit something. I hate feeling angry. I hate that everything is here now.