Long time, no write.
"Oct. 15th, 2008" - last date I wrote in my journal. That sucks.
I read my last entry, and a lot has happened since then, at the same time as most things are pretty much the same.
Let's see.. atm I'm still sick (no shocker there), but perhaps even worse. I'm waiting for my appointment at the hospital, and I'm getting restless. I hate going around being in pain and not knowing what's wrong with me. And my mental problems are also a bit worse. Yes, I have actually thought about "taking the easy way out", but I'm not that stupid. But it's really getting to me, and as I mentioned earlier this year, I'm really apathetic. It's like nothing matters.
Christmas is coming up, but can't say I'm looking forward to it. To me, seeing as I am in the state I am, it's just like any other day. Same goes for my birthday on Dec. 28. I wish I can just skip it. And, that date is also the date that my great-grandmother has been dead for eight months.. yeah, that sucks too.
My lovelife is, well.. confusing. Right now I'm dating this guy names Fredrik. It's exclusice, but we're not together. And at the same time, I'm best friends with my ex, but he wants me back. So he's buying me things, trying really hard to always be there for me, and he even cleaned m bathroom. He says he loves me more than anything, I am his everything, I'm the one and the one he wants to spend his life with. I think maybe he's a little too young to say all that, but that ma be the way he's feeling atm. Or it could be just "wanting what he can't get", but he says it's not.
So, I've got him on "hold".. if I can put it that way. If things don't work out with me and Fredrik, I'm probably going back to Lars.
And things can't work out between me and Fredrik, because he's going in the military next year, and he will have other priorities. But we do like eachother and evertyhing.. yeah, complicated.
Oh, and I've gotten to deguses. I named them Ichigo and Pan. I'll try to upload a picture later.:)
I'll write some more tomorrow, but right now I've gotta lay down.. my neck hurts like crazy after babysitting last night.
- Nadia.
I read my last entry, and a lot has happened since then, at the same time as most things are pretty much the same.
Let's see.. atm I'm still sick (no shocker there), but perhaps even worse. I'm waiting for my appointment at the hospital, and I'm getting restless. I hate going around being in pain and not knowing what's wrong with me. And my mental problems are also a bit worse. Yes, I have actually thought about "taking the easy way out", but I'm not that stupid. But it's really getting to me, and as I mentioned earlier this year, I'm really apathetic. It's like nothing matters.
Christmas is coming up, but can't say I'm looking forward to it. To me, seeing as I am in the state I am, it's just like any other day. Same goes for my birthday on Dec. 28. I wish I can just skip it. And, that date is also the date that my great-grandmother has been dead for eight months.. yeah, that sucks too.
My lovelife is, well.. confusing. Right now I'm dating this guy names Fredrik. It's exclusice, but we're not together. And at the same time, I'm best friends with my ex, but he wants me back. So he's buying me things, trying really hard to always be there for me, and he even cleaned m bathroom. He says he loves me more than anything, I am his everything, I'm the one and the one he wants to spend his life with. I think maybe he's a little too young to say all that, but that ma be the way he's feeling atm. Or it could be just "wanting what he can't get", but he says it's not.
So, I've got him on "hold".. if I can put it that way. If things don't work out with me and Fredrik, I'm probably going back to Lars.
And things can't work out between me and Fredrik, because he's going in the military next year, and he will have other priorities. But we do like eachother and evertyhing.. yeah, complicated.
Oh, and I've gotten to deguses. I named them Ichigo and Pan. I'll try to upload a picture later.:)
I'll write some more tomorrow, but right now I've gotta lay down.. my neck hurts like crazy after babysitting last night.
- Nadia.