(no subject)
C wanted me to post this to FB but I had the feeling there'd be too many people who wouldn't get it there (not that there's really anything to get). You know how MRAs are always saying that all women can have sex with any man they want with no consequences, but they also have this female hotness rating system that they take very seriously? So I was wondering how these two things could possibly fit together, and I came up with a dystopian society where it all works out:
When a boy becomes a man (at whatever age or achievement level that denotes adulthood in his region), he has to register with the government as either straight or gay. If he registers as straight, any woman anywhere can sign up (also at the government office or online) to have sex with him. He's not allowed to refuse any woman that signs up, but if more than one signs up he is allowed to rearrange the list in any way he pleases, theoretically in order of "hotness" although of course many other factors may come into play. There's an upper limit on the time he's allowed to delay between turns, unless he has a doctor's note.
Women can sign up for him a second time, but any woman who has not already had a turn with him automatically takes precedence over any woman who has; a woman who has had two turns has automatic precedence over a woman who has had three turns, etc.
Two or more women can have group sex with him if all parties agree, but they need to have had the same number of turns with him. He can have group sex with another straight man and at least one woman from each of their lists--man-man-woman threesomes aren't allowed because in-demand men might use them to get out of dealing with their own lists--but the paperwork is awful.
He can get married, but his wife has to sign up for him like any other woman; if he's in high demand and they want kids, he and his wife may have to use artificial insemination. The rules around reproduction vary from place to place; in some places men can bank and sell their sperm at will, in some it's banked and there's a list system like the one for sex but giving precedence to older women, and in some places women just keep visiting men until they get pregnant. In accordance with MRA perceptions, if a woman gets pregnant she has full control over what happens to the fetus--she can abort it (for free and with no social stigma) or carry it to term; if she carries it to term she can keep the father from ever seeing it, hand it over to him with no further responsibility on her part, and/or force him to pay for its upkeep.
Women can sign up for as many or as few men as they want--no one's counting. If you're "unattractive" or otherwise unpowerful, you have to wait longer for fashionable men, but you'll get your turn eventually and you can visit less popular ones meanwhile. If you sign up for a man and he doesn't want to have sex with you, he might try to get you to take your name off the list by treating you badly or making himself unattractive in some way, but this could backfire: if you stay on the list, once your turn comes up he is required to please you well enough that you'll sign off on it afterwards, and if you're feeling vindictive you might declare that you won't be pleased unless he does something he would rather not do.
If a woman refuses to sign off on a session, he must schedule her for his next session, unless she withdraws her name from his list. If she refuses to sign off or delete the second time, the case goes to civil court, which is irritating, inconvenient, and embarassing for all parties concerned. The man must prove that he made a good faith effort to please her, and/or that she was unduly abusive or--in rare cases--contagious. If the man wins, the woman pays the court a fine for wasting their time. If the woman wins, the man must pay fines both to the court and to her. A man must also pay a fine to a woman if he schedules her for an appointment and then doesn't show up. If a woman doesn't show up for an appointment, the man is allowed to drop her from his list permanently but cannot request financial restitution.
If you're a lesbian or a bi woman, you can date whatever women you want, because it's only men's sexuality that's regulated. Some old-fashioned dykes set up an unofficial system where the butches have lists and the femmes sign up for them; but the hip, cutting-edge thing to do is to have a system like the gay men's.
Gay men also have a list system, but only an elite few in every region have lists. All gay men are constantly being ranked on dozens of varied characteristics and skills, from biceps to fashion sense to wit to community service. Scores are combined and the gays who score in the top 1% become the A-gays. If an A-gay's ratings slip below the cut-off, he ceases to be an A-gay. Like straight men, A-gays have lists and cannot outright refuse any gay man who signs up (as long as the signer is not currently an A-gay.) However, since the ratio of A-gays to ordinary gays is so small compared to that of straight men to women, every A-gay is automatically in high demand and can shuffle his list almost indefinitely to avoid anyone he doesn't want to have sex with. In some places, an A-gay can completely reboot his list by deliberately slipping in the ranks until he falls below A-gay status, then climbing right back up again.
Technically no one is supposed to be paying anyone else, but it is customary to bring a present such as a bottle of wine, a movie, a fruit basket, a gift card, or a small appliance when one arrives at an appointment with an A-gay. The A-gay may share it immediately or store it away as he chooses.
Gay culture discourages men from signing up for A-gays after age 40, although there is no legal cutoff and some gays make a point of continuing to sign up into old age. In some regions, an A-gay can avoid an old or disabled suitor by arranging a meeting in a physically inaccessible place and then reporting him as a no-show, although this is generally regarded as a dick move and most places have laws forbidding straight men to do this to women.
Each city or region has its own A-gay registry, but ordinary gays are allowed to sign up for A-gays from other cities. This is best done with the consent of the A-gay, since he can easily schedule the visitor for a day when he can't be in the area. When a gay visits another region, he is immediately subject to that region's rating system and may run the risk of being (or get the opportunity to be) a temporary A-gay himself, which would cancel his appointment with the resident A-gay unless they decide to plan a foursome. Women can also sign up for straight men in other regions; they of course are not subject to the A-gay ratings, but they still need the consent of the man so that he doesn't schedule them at a time other than during their visit.
You may wonder where the ordinary gays are getting their sex, given that there are so few approved sources. Some regions get around this by saying that any act that doesn't involve an A-gay isn't real sex, just "fooling around." Some mandate that certain sex acts (usually more involved or difficult ones) must only be performed with A-gays, but the others don't really count. Some forbid all sexual contact that doesn't involve an A-gay but almost never enforce this rule.
Gay marriage is recognized, but only between partners who have no sexual relationship. If a married couple is found to be having any kind of sexual contact with each other, even just "fooling around," they can be forcibly divorced. This happens just often enough to make people nervous.
Although women theoretically can have sex with any man they want, gay men are regarded as a third sex that is off limits to both women and straight men. The contradiction has not escaped any pundit ever, and establishment voices quickly rush in to say that gays and women are...closely related. Like family members. Yeah, that's it. And so are gays and straight men. Yeah.
Following the Blah Blah Blah Act of Blah Blah, a man is allowed to change his sexual orientation registry once in his lifetime, and only once. Cue a thousand bad jokes about going gay to avoid Marge from Accounting.
If you're an asexual woman, you don't have to do anything you don't want to, because whether you have sex is just your own business. If you're an asexual man, all you have to do is sign up as gay and then make sure you don't qualify as an A-gay. If you're neither a woman nor a man, you're shit out of luck.
When a boy becomes a man (at whatever age or achievement level that denotes adulthood in his region), he has to register with the government as either straight or gay. If he registers as straight, any woman anywhere can sign up (also at the government office or online) to have sex with him. He's not allowed to refuse any woman that signs up, but if more than one signs up he is allowed to rearrange the list in any way he pleases, theoretically in order of "hotness" although of course many other factors may come into play. There's an upper limit on the time he's allowed to delay between turns, unless he has a doctor's note.
Women can sign up for him a second time, but any woman who has not already had a turn with him automatically takes precedence over any woman who has; a woman who has had two turns has automatic precedence over a woman who has had three turns, etc.
Two or more women can have group sex with him if all parties agree, but they need to have had the same number of turns with him. He can have group sex with another straight man and at least one woman from each of their lists--man-man-woman threesomes aren't allowed because in-demand men might use them to get out of dealing with their own lists--but the paperwork is awful.
He can get married, but his wife has to sign up for him like any other woman; if he's in high demand and they want kids, he and his wife may have to use artificial insemination. The rules around reproduction vary from place to place; in some places men can bank and sell their sperm at will, in some it's banked and there's a list system like the one for sex but giving precedence to older women, and in some places women just keep visiting men until they get pregnant. In accordance with MRA perceptions, if a woman gets pregnant she has full control over what happens to the fetus--she can abort it (for free and with no social stigma) or carry it to term; if she carries it to term she can keep the father from ever seeing it, hand it over to him with no further responsibility on her part, and/or force him to pay for its upkeep.
Women can sign up for as many or as few men as they want--no one's counting. If you're "unattractive" or otherwise unpowerful, you have to wait longer for fashionable men, but you'll get your turn eventually and you can visit less popular ones meanwhile. If you sign up for a man and he doesn't want to have sex with you, he might try to get you to take your name off the list by treating you badly or making himself unattractive in some way, but this could backfire: if you stay on the list, once your turn comes up he is required to please you well enough that you'll sign off on it afterwards, and if you're feeling vindictive you might declare that you won't be pleased unless he does something he would rather not do.
If a woman refuses to sign off on a session, he must schedule her for his next session, unless she withdraws her name from his list. If she refuses to sign off or delete the second time, the case goes to civil court, which is irritating, inconvenient, and embarassing for all parties concerned. The man must prove that he made a good faith effort to please her, and/or that she was unduly abusive or--in rare cases--contagious. If the man wins, the woman pays the court a fine for wasting their time. If the woman wins, the man must pay fines both to the court and to her. A man must also pay a fine to a woman if he schedules her for an appointment and then doesn't show up. If a woman doesn't show up for an appointment, the man is allowed to drop her from his list permanently but cannot request financial restitution.
If you're a lesbian or a bi woman, you can date whatever women you want, because it's only men's sexuality that's regulated. Some old-fashioned dykes set up an unofficial system where the butches have lists and the femmes sign up for them; but the hip, cutting-edge thing to do is to have a system like the gay men's.
Gay men also have a list system, but only an elite few in every region have lists. All gay men are constantly being ranked on dozens of varied characteristics and skills, from biceps to fashion sense to wit to community service. Scores are combined and the gays who score in the top 1% become the A-gays. If an A-gay's ratings slip below the cut-off, he ceases to be an A-gay. Like straight men, A-gays have lists and cannot outright refuse any gay man who signs up (as long as the signer is not currently an A-gay.) However, since the ratio of A-gays to ordinary gays is so small compared to that of straight men to women, every A-gay is automatically in high demand and can shuffle his list almost indefinitely to avoid anyone he doesn't want to have sex with. In some places, an A-gay can completely reboot his list by deliberately slipping in the ranks until he falls below A-gay status, then climbing right back up again.
Technically no one is supposed to be paying anyone else, but it is customary to bring a present such as a bottle of wine, a movie, a fruit basket, a gift card, or a small appliance when one arrives at an appointment with an A-gay. The A-gay may share it immediately or store it away as he chooses.
Gay culture discourages men from signing up for A-gays after age 40, although there is no legal cutoff and some gays make a point of continuing to sign up into old age. In some regions, an A-gay can avoid an old or disabled suitor by arranging a meeting in a physically inaccessible place and then reporting him as a no-show, although this is generally regarded as a dick move and most places have laws forbidding straight men to do this to women.
Each city or region has its own A-gay registry, but ordinary gays are allowed to sign up for A-gays from other cities. This is best done with the consent of the A-gay, since he can easily schedule the visitor for a day when he can't be in the area. When a gay visits another region, he is immediately subject to that region's rating system and may run the risk of being (or get the opportunity to be) a temporary A-gay himself, which would cancel his appointment with the resident A-gay unless they decide to plan a foursome. Women can also sign up for straight men in other regions; they of course are not subject to the A-gay ratings, but they still need the consent of the man so that he doesn't schedule them at a time other than during their visit.
You may wonder where the ordinary gays are getting their sex, given that there are so few approved sources. Some regions get around this by saying that any act that doesn't involve an A-gay isn't real sex, just "fooling around." Some mandate that certain sex acts (usually more involved or difficult ones) must only be performed with A-gays, but the others don't really count. Some forbid all sexual contact that doesn't involve an A-gay but almost never enforce this rule.
Gay marriage is recognized, but only between partners who have no sexual relationship. If a married couple is found to be having any kind of sexual contact with each other, even just "fooling around," they can be forcibly divorced. This happens just often enough to make people nervous.
Although women theoretically can have sex with any man they want, gay men are regarded as a third sex that is off limits to both women and straight men. The contradiction has not escaped any pundit ever, and establishment voices quickly rush in to say that gays and women are...closely related. Like family members. Yeah, that's it. And so are gays and straight men. Yeah.
Following the Blah Blah Blah Act of Blah Blah, a man is allowed to change his sexual orientation registry once in his lifetime, and only once. Cue a thousand bad jokes about going gay to avoid Marge from Accounting.
If you're an asexual woman, you don't have to do anything you don't want to, because whether you have sex is just your own business. If you're an asexual man, all you have to do is sign up as gay and then make sure you don't qualify as an A-gay. If you're neither a woman nor a man, you're shit out of luck.