i hear the baying of the hounds
I have worked so hard to keep the bullshit out of my life only to find it at the work place. My boss causes all kinds of strife in his irrational frenzies that he out does everyone else in my life EVER, because I can not fight back. I do not fear being fired, but personal life and career life has a difference.
I will not yell back. I will just start scouting different jobs. You do not yell at your boss. You just leave.
I would like to start writing more in my tangible journal. I write once two or three times a month. But it's easier to type than write most days.
I'd like to have the Hage website done this week. Trying. Why bother knowing I'll start applying for City and County jobs this weekend? Because I hope the place thrives. And if having a website helps it, rock on. There's my big contribution. I can't believe how much of basic HTML I taught myself...8-10 years ago is still remembered. I'm so proud of my site, despite the simplicity.
I love everyone so much. Even though I'm not talking to a lot of people lately. Don't call me back? Eh...we're on a hiatus. Sorry. Won't call twice. I haven't got anything to say to you? Eh..we're on a hiatus. Sorry. You'll either say something that I can reply to or you'll wait until I have something to say to you.
Any online interaction I've had in the last two months has been boring. No intelligence involved, unless it's with people I already know and cherish.
I drink too much. And I'm tired.
I just want to sleep deep at night. My only wish. Wash out the day (not that they're all bad), dream new things, and begin anew.
Where are my Ryanness and my Tyler? And why do I miss these two people so fucking much? One who doesn't want to talk to me and one who I lost touch with because of our moves. Sucksucksuck.
My car died today. And was ressurected. Praise intelligence. Amen.
I got written up on Friday for a mistake on an invoice. I am not perfect. I will make mistakes. I promise. I can rectify them. I can soothe over the customers. This is not enough. I should never make a mistake in the first place. It's exhausting.
I'm glad for _Tai-Pan_ , _The Geneaology of Morals_, and all the pretty text messages I get from people I adore.
Done.
X.