Hop aboard the LJ Drama Express! Choo choo!

[plasticprophet]

It's tricky at best. At worst, it's a downright quagmire. Ever notice how very much like cancer love is? You can try and prevent it, close yourself off to it, spend time developing yourself physically and spiritually, cleansing, going within, and yet... and yet without warning, one day you take stock of yourself and realize something's not right. And you try to explain it away, but it's there whether you acknowledge it or not. The lump in your skin or the lump in your throat, it's not going away. It's a part of you now. And much like the feelings I have for people I have known who are affected by cancer, I feel such great sympathy and compassion for those are in love -- especially the unrequited variety -- because it is largely out of our control and it hurts like hell. We don't usually wake up one morning saying, "I'm going to fall in love with this person today, and if in the end it causes me too much pain, I'll just let it go and move on." I know I didn't. It was more like waking up to find that it's snowing in June. I was expecting one thing, and got quite another. But what was most shocking about it was that I was completely at the mercy of my feelings. I couldn't eat, I couldn't speak, I lost control of my mood. Unlike cancer, there is no treatment for love.

I love you to the exclusion of everything else, even myself. It's probably good that we will never be together.