(no subject)
So, Today was all right. My SAT scores came in. and they fucking sucked. But whatever. I think I have some homework to do but i think i completely blocked it out. Fuck I did. I have French. But that is easy. And the french take home test. Ah yes that will be done tomorrow. I am kind of sad about prom because I know it isn't going to be all that fun. But that's ok. I am still going. I don't even dance. I am also sad because I am not brave enough tot alk to some random boy. I don't get it. How can every single one of my friends have a significant other. JEsus fucking christ. I don't think I am hideous or anything. but seriously. I can be so outgoing. Then I get wicked shy. ANd i hate opening up to people. I think I am afraid to be hurt. But I've never been hurt really. I take everything way to carelessly. and then when it comes to something serious i freak out and twist it around and blame it on something else. I admit I don't take anything seriously. Not even driving. I am afraid I am not gong to amount to anything. I just want to have a nice boy to play with and go to the beach and not have sex with. But no. Whatever. I'm not depserate or anything . I guess it would just be nice if i had someone else to talk to and be comfortable around then my friends. I don't understand how ican have such a negative view on life when nothing negative has rerally ever happened to me. I walk around hating the world. and half of the time id on't even know why. I am A LOT better. I just wish i could start a conversation with someone. But I guess everyone has that problem. I don't even know anymore. I don't even care how many typos are in this. Whatever. woo. BEACH SATURDAY NIGHT! mm tastey!