(no subject)
What is a girl to do ?
So there is the boy ; and he isn't the cutest of all boys, he isn't the coolest or even the smartest, but he is a boy can can make you smile when you don't want too. I've dated him twice in the past. First one ended because he was more into his friends then he was into me. He listened to his 'best friend' and his 'best friends' girlfriend. Oops, then I was out of the picture. Almost a full year later we tried going out again. I got scared that if i started to fall in love with him he was just going to dump me again, so I ended it. I always was hearing from friends that he was planning on doing the same. So i did it before he even had the chance. He has always been in my life. Whether we are getting into agruements or being really good friends, or even flirting with each other every chance we get. We are always in each others lives.
Well at this point, we are pretty much dating without the title. Well that's what most people would call it. We walk each other to different classes at school, we are usually together during breaks at school. We talk online &+ on the phone pretty much everyday, and we even say really cute things to each other. * We all knows the things; like the little <3's or like little pet names * But we aren't together. &+ something tells me we will never be. He tells me that I'm not wasting my time on him. But most of the time I think that at I am. I hate to admitt things like that. but its true. He talkes about other girls infront of me. So once in awhile I will mention another boy infront of him, and i get a different reaction just about everytime. He either trys to ignore me, acts like he doesnt care, asks me more questions about this boy, or he acts kind of jealous.
I really dont think anything will really happen between us anymore. I really dont. I hate to say it. But right now at this point thats what I'm really feeling. He is sooooo confusing. He says he doesnt want a girlfriend, that he doesnt like to be tired down to one girl, but then he goes and says something overly cute to me, about a future that we could possibly have together.. i just dont get it. I dont know what he wants from me. He says he wants to be with me, he says he loves me, but then I alwasy second guess everything that is said between us. It just sucks.
But tomorrow I'm going to take about 4 steps back, I'm not going to act so flirty, or like i want him soo much. I'm just gonna kind of act like a friend. And if he really wants me he will find a way to put me there. But as of right now, I'm hanging by a thread, he just better hope the thread doesnt break, and he doesnt loose me forever.