Though you can't drive with a broken back, at least you can polish the fender.
I love this beautiful mess I've managed to walk myself right into. I hate feeling like this. I've asked 4 people for advice already, and though everyone's told me something different, none of it is what I want to hear. And, for the record, if you're going to be an asshole and leave a bullshit comment about how I've got more important things to worry about, then shut up. I know I'm being super emo right now, and I've somehow managed to accept that. Believe me, I know there are plenty more important things that I should (and in some instances am) worrying about right now.
Ah. I want to be around people who have zero drama going on right now, that or listen to other people's problems that don't revolve around how they can't find "the right one" or how they're mad at their significant other.
Today in journalism, we actually started writing articles. The first article I wrote (I don't want to say what it was about, because it's super cliche') about, Ms. Arbit said that I couldn't turn in because they were going to be in the school's newspaper, and my topic was much less than school appropriate. Then I was going to write about the presidential election, however, it'd somewhat hard to create an objective article on that subject... considering who we have for candidates. Then I tried to come up with a topic somewhere along the lines of how religion greatly affects politics. Couldn't do that. Arbit said that most likely too many people would be offended by what I was writing (even though it's supposed to be unbiased). So I settled on how plastic surgery has affected today's mass media (oh yeah. super original for nicole .::rolling eyes::.). How am I supposed to excell in writing when I can't write about something I truely want to research? Hence why I get the grades I do in english... because all the assignments we get are fucking pointless. Oh! Alright! Let's be lazy and draw A's and make covers for our "Paper Journals" and read books outloud because we're all too simple minded to do anything else!!! YAY FOR IGNORANCE AND STUPIDITY!
I hate Turners Falls High School.
If this is as much knowledge as I'm going to acquire, why can't I just fucking graduate now, and go to college, where I can actually major in what I want to learn, rather than having a ton of random classes that mean little to nothing to me.
Maybe I will drop out and go get my GED. It's been on my mind a lot lately, and it seems to be the only thing that's completely clear to me right now.
I don't even know why I want to be a writer... I mean, I LOVE doing it, but I don't even know what kind of writer I want to be. Journalism seems to be the most prominant to me right now, but then there's the whole idea of becoming a television anchor (yeah, last thing on my list of things I want to do before I die.), I just... I don't know. I just want to write, and educate people, simply because I hate ignorance. People who are completely ignorant to their surrounding world, yet talk about it like it's going out of style are the absolute worst people ever. I hate people who sit there and preach to me for hours about how they "hate Bush". I mean, come on. Most people I know that sit there and say it, don't know what in the world they're talking about. Do they even know why they hate him? Do any of these people even have any idea what the war in Iraq is about? I'm not saying I'm a Republican or anything, or a Democrat for that matter. I think the government is a complete sham, anyway. I just wish people wouldn't talk out of their ass. It's not very attractive. Even though Allen's point of view is real nice and bullshit, at least he knows what he's fucking talking about.
Wow. Sometimes I wish I wasn't such a stron-believing Atheist. Times like these I genuinly wish I had something more to look forward to in life, I'm so sick of everything being so up and down. I wish everyone was equal. I hate seeing people in third-world countries that have nothing. I feel like such a fucking selfish whore, becaue here I am, with the Jesus computer, a cellphone and a home. There's people out there that don't even have a blanket to sleep with. Sometimes I wish death would just come much more quickly so that (and yes, I do realize this is selfish) I don't have to go on worrying about how internally fucked over the world has become because of simple advancements. I want Stef to be here. I don't want anyone to be let down. I want everyone to live as they hope they can. I want everyone in the world to succeed in whatever they want. I want everyone to have a stable home to come back to. I want to be internally and externally happy. I can't keep thinking like this. I'm upsetting myself way too much.
Ugh.
I can't do this anymore.
Ah. I want to be around people who have zero drama going on right now, that or listen to other people's problems that don't revolve around how they can't find "the right one" or how they're mad at their significant other.
Today in journalism, we actually started writing articles. The first article I wrote (I don't want to say what it was about, because it's super cliche') about, Ms. Arbit said that I couldn't turn in because they were going to be in the school's newspaper, and my topic was much less than school appropriate. Then I was going to write about the presidential election, however, it'd somewhat hard to create an objective article on that subject... considering who we have for candidates. Then I tried to come up with a topic somewhere along the lines of how religion greatly affects politics. Couldn't do that. Arbit said that most likely too many people would be offended by what I was writing (even though it's supposed to be unbiased). So I settled on how plastic surgery has affected today's mass media (oh yeah. super original for nicole .::rolling eyes::.). How am I supposed to excell in writing when I can't write about something I truely want to research? Hence why I get the grades I do in english... because all the assignments we get are fucking pointless. Oh! Alright! Let's be lazy and draw A's and make covers for our "Paper Journals" and read books outloud because we're all too simple minded to do anything else!!! YAY FOR IGNORANCE AND STUPIDITY!
I hate Turners Falls High School.
If this is as much knowledge as I'm going to acquire, why can't I just fucking graduate now, and go to college, where I can actually major in what I want to learn, rather than having a ton of random classes that mean little to nothing to me.
Maybe I will drop out and go get my GED. It's been on my mind a lot lately, and it seems to be the only thing that's completely clear to me right now.
I don't even know why I want to be a writer... I mean, I LOVE doing it, but I don't even know what kind of writer I want to be. Journalism seems to be the most prominant to me right now, but then there's the whole idea of becoming a television anchor (yeah, last thing on my list of things I want to do before I die.), I just... I don't know. I just want to write, and educate people, simply because I hate ignorance. People who are completely ignorant to their surrounding world, yet talk about it like it's going out of style are the absolute worst people ever. I hate people who sit there and preach to me for hours about how they "hate Bush". I mean, come on. Most people I know that sit there and say it, don't know what in the world they're talking about. Do they even know why they hate him? Do any of these people even have any idea what the war in Iraq is about? I'm not saying I'm a Republican or anything, or a Democrat for that matter. I think the government is a complete sham, anyway. I just wish people wouldn't talk out of their ass. It's not very attractive. Even though Allen's point of view is real nice and bullshit, at least he knows what he's fucking talking about.
Wow. Sometimes I wish I wasn't such a stron-believing Atheist. Times like these I genuinly wish I had something more to look forward to in life, I'm so sick of everything being so up and down. I wish everyone was equal. I hate seeing people in third-world countries that have nothing. I feel like such a fucking selfish whore, becaue here I am, with the Jesus computer, a cellphone and a home. There's people out there that don't even have a blanket to sleep with. Sometimes I wish death would just come much more quickly so that (and yes, I do realize this is selfish) I don't have to go on worrying about how internally fucked over the world has become because of simple advancements. I want Stef to be here. I don't want anyone to be let down. I want everyone to live as they hope they can. I want everyone in the world to succeed in whatever they want. I want everyone to have a stable home to come back to. I want to be internally and externally happy. I can't keep thinking like this. I'm upsetting myself way too much.
Ugh.
I can't do this anymore.