Ideal manners for a 13th century lady
I found this interesting information about Chastoiement des dames, a mid-13th century ettiquete book by Robert de Blois, in "Courtly culture: literature and society in the high middle ages" by Joachim Bumke. Here's what was expected of a well-born lady:
1. A lady should walk with a measured pace on her way to church, offering friendly greetings to passersby and giving alms to the poor and sick;
2. "Beware, and let no man touch your breast, except for the one who has a right to [her husband]";
3. A lady should allow no one but her husband to kiss her on the mouth;
4. A lady should not stare at men, otherwise they might think it "done out of love";
5. A lady should not boast that someone has asked for her love;
6. A lady should not bear any skin but for her throat, hands, and her face;
7. A lady should not accept gifts from men who are not her relatives;
8. A lady should not quarrel;
9. A lady should not curse, nor drink or eat too much;
10. A lady should lift her veil when greeted by a great lord and return the greetings. Ladies need only be veiled at church or in the streets, but an ugly lady should be veiled often, and beautiful ones not at all;
11. A lady should drink wine to give herself good color, and eat cumin, anise, and fennel in the morning to cure bad breath;
12. A lady should be mindful of her behavior in church and not talk or laugh;
13. A lady should cross herself at the beginning and end of church;
14. A lady should let others leave church before herself when the service was over;
15. A lady should sing often if she had a beautiful voice;
16. A lady should keep her fingernails neat and trim;
17. A lady should not laugh or talk too much at meals. If she is eating with a man, she should cut the best bits for him. She should not wipe her nose or eyes on the tablecloth. If she is a guest, she should not eat too much;
18. "Nobody will love or serve a lady who lies often";
19. If a man confesses his love to her, the lady should answer seriously and remain faithful to her lord.
1. A lady should walk with a measured pace on her way to church, offering friendly greetings to passersby and giving alms to the poor and sick;
2. "Beware, and let no man touch your breast, except for the one who has a right to [her husband]";
3. A lady should allow no one but her husband to kiss her on the mouth;
4. A lady should not stare at men, otherwise they might think it "done out of love";
5. A lady should not boast that someone has asked for her love;
6. A lady should not bear any skin but for her throat, hands, and her face;
7. A lady should not accept gifts from men who are not her relatives;
8. A lady should not quarrel;
9. A lady should not curse, nor drink or eat too much;
10. A lady should lift her veil when greeted by a great lord and return the greetings. Ladies need only be veiled at church or in the streets, but an ugly lady should be veiled often, and beautiful ones not at all;
11. A lady should drink wine to give herself good color, and eat cumin, anise, and fennel in the morning to cure bad breath;
12. A lady should be mindful of her behavior in church and not talk or laugh;
13. A lady should cross herself at the beginning and end of church;
14. A lady should let others leave church before herself when the service was over;
15. A lady should sing often if she had a beautiful voice;
16. A lady should keep her fingernails neat and trim;
17. A lady should not laugh or talk too much at meals. If she is eating with a man, she should cut the best bits for him. She should not wipe her nose or eyes on the tablecloth. If she is a guest, she should not eat too much;
18. "Nobody will love or serve a lady who lies often";
19. If a man confesses his love to her, the lady should answer seriously and remain faithful to her lord.