(no subject)
FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCLFUCKFUCKFUCLFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK
Have a rant.
Why am I like this, why am I so unreasonable, why can't I be better and stronger and nicer to him, and accept he's gone, and happier elsewhere, and just stop being suck a fucked up psycho freak of an ex-girlfriend, why do I love someone who hates me, why couldn't it have worked, why wasn't I good enough, why was I so angry at so little, why wouldn't he call me, my can't I be normal, why can't I be nice, why do I tell him how I feel, why do I let him get to me, why does he make me cry, why doesn't he care when I do, why is he always so annoyed, why can't we be friends, why can't we love each other, why wasn't I enough, why did I fuck him, why can't I forget, why do I dream about back then, why do I want to BE back then, why did it go wrong, why did he change, why couldn't I change, why can't I grow up, why am I immature, why won't I drink more, why did he have to drink so much, why do I care so much?
Guys, I'm seriously not getting over Darran very well at all. Any advice? Anything at all? Every time we talk I end up blowing up at him, which is a tad unfair seeing as how I dumped him. And especially since he has a girlfriend and is always perfectly nice and friendly and reasonable to me. How do I stop being a psycho? And if the answer is "give it lots of time" then please make up something else which might make me feel better... I just hate being so unreasonable and unfair, he was always perfectly fine to me, it was me who ended it, not being happy, and yet I'm the crazy ex who can't seem to get over him or accept how things are, this isn't how its supposed to be at all... Its horribly embarassing. Its pathetic. I'm 2 years older, I'll be in college, I'm ok looking, but around him I act like a complete nutjob and just make an idiot of myself, I just want some indication I meant someting to him I guess, I just want to hear stuff he's never going to say, and I come out with crazy stuff in the hope of affecting him and of him saying something that sounds like he cares.
I just wish I wasn't such a goddamn fucking waste of people's time.
Have a rant.
Why am I like this, why am I so unreasonable, why can't I be better and stronger and nicer to him, and accept he's gone, and happier elsewhere, and just stop being suck a fucked up psycho freak of an ex-girlfriend, why do I love someone who hates me, why couldn't it have worked, why wasn't I good enough, why was I so angry at so little, why wouldn't he call me, my can't I be normal, why can't I be nice, why do I tell him how I feel, why do I let him get to me, why does he make me cry, why doesn't he care when I do, why is he always so annoyed, why can't we be friends, why can't we love each other, why wasn't I enough, why did I fuck him, why can't I forget, why do I dream about back then, why do I want to BE back then, why did it go wrong, why did he change, why couldn't I change, why can't I grow up, why am I immature, why won't I drink more, why did he have to drink so much, why do I care so much?
Guys, I'm seriously not getting over Darran very well at all. Any advice? Anything at all? Every time we talk I end up blowing up at him, which is a tad unfair seeing as how I dumped him. And especially since he has a girlfriend and is always perfectly nice and friendly and reasonable to me. How do I stop being a psycho? And if the answer is "give it lots of time" then please make up something else which might make me feel better... I just hate being so unreasonable and unfair, he was always perfectly fine to me, it was me who ended it, not being happy, and yet I'm the crazy ex who can't seem to get over him or accept how things are, this isn't how its supposed to be at all... Its horribly embarassing. Its pathetic. I'm 2 years older, I'll be in college, I'm ok looking, but around him I act like a complete nutjob and just make an idiot of myself, I just want some indication I meant someting to him I guess, I just want to hear stuff he's never going to say, and I come out with crazy stuff in the hope of affecting him and of him saying something that sounds like he cares.
I just wish I wasn't such a goddamn fucking waste of people's time.