(no subject)
I have not really updated my journal in a while... i don't knwo why exactly, but i think it has something to do with how i have felt of late. I don't knwo much about ho0w people feel, i just know i can predict how they would feel and act in situations. that does not mean i know how they feel when they are not in those situations. i suppose that scares me, not knowing how they feel, no one really tells me, and i don't want them to. what they feel is theirs to do with however they like. it just concerns me, the reason is becuase i am always afraid of rejection. people always seem to reject me, or treat me with little respect. of course people would argue that they love me. blah,blah, blah, and other will tell me to listen to them and not to those who would belittle me. why listen to the bad when you have the good to listen to? why ignore the bad when you can ignore the good? why does it feel like it is just the same? why don't people understand that those that would belittle me are just as important as those who would make me grand? don't they see that making me grand won't make me happy? a star is not happy, why do many of them turn to drugs? it doesn't seem to matter who you are, what you say, you are just as important as the next person that rounds the bend. my mother of all people told me something like that, something similar, although it sounded more as if it was for me, telling me i was special, and not others. what makes me so special? don't you understand that we are all just as important? and yet you play favorites, you ignore some and treat others better. why kill angels when you have demons running lose? who are you to say that one is a demon and one is an angel? what makes you think you have the right to judge anyone? and yet you do. it is a fact of life that we can not escape this moment. we all judge, just as we were taught to, we all kill, inadvertantly other people. we all decide that we must fend for ourselves without care to how well others are doing. or do we?
-Cole
-Cole